Last night I went to sleep with the fan on. I know I did...I had been attempting to clean and the room felt hot, so I flipped it on before crashing into the bed head first and missing my pillow completely. When I woke up this morning...the fan was off. It had not been knocked down. My electricity was still on. It was nothing accidental. The knob was turned to "off". This can mean only one thing. Sometime in the middle of the night stealth fan-hating ninja midgets snuck in through my open window and brutally and violently turned off my fan. I'm lucky I wasn't killed.
In other news, my grandma is officially off her nut. I was house sitting for my mother this weekend so she could take the old people to a family reunion in Spokane. My sister and I have decided that the Family Reunion Tradition will officially die with our generation. We're going to kill it dead and then kick its lifeless body. That's how much we hate family reunions. We'd spend 4 hours driving somewhere to hang out with the close family members we see all year long and ignore the third and fourth cousins from bumpkinland. Pointless.
So back to my grandma. She corners me in the kitchen talking about her problems with constipation and how she likes to use the toliet at the house because she can "lean back". Apparantly if you want to "empty your bladder of waste, you gotta leeean back" (yes, there are motions). I just stared at her blankly. She didn't seem to notice. I'm signing up to be euthanized by 75.
1 day ago