I have to tell this story. I must. It's just too good. So if it offends any with a delicate nature...so be it. You'll have to take one for the team. Stupidest saying ever. I don't even really know what it means.
Monday night, Amy, Marie and I went for Happy Hour at Kells...because it was Monday. We had several...more than we meant to, mainly because the waiter was hot. Well, I thought he was hot, Marie and Amy do not share my taste for dark, unkept looking hipster boys. We all have our faults. Good thing I can overlook theirs.
Anyway, at some point in the conversation I was throwing out my usual lament about dating someone who lives two hours away, and how it's never going to work, especially since my filler "object" just broke. Scandalized aren't you. Or confused. If you're either, you're a prude, or you've never dated anyone who lives two hours away.
So I need a new "object", and I don't have time to wait for one of those "purchasing parties"...I need one now. And I refuse to shop for it alone because that's just not as fun. So we finish our drinks and it's off to Spartacus. If you can't figure out what they sell at Spartacus by the name, then you're a prude. The poor sales girl. First she had to check our IDs to see if we were 18...ha! And then she had to outline the good and bad points of pretty much everything on the east wall. Are sparkles beneficial? What about remote controls? Can this go in water? Can you be allergic to texture? Why are some straight, and some are bent? What is this for? Oh my. Wait, wait...why does this one have antennae? Poor poor girl.
And then, there were the other walls. Walls with signs like "Please do not whip the other customers". I kid you not. So of course absolutely everything had to be picked up and examined. Directions read out loud...and then...Amy knocked over an entire display of "enhancing pills". If you don't know what they enhance, you're a prude. They went all over the floor. It took three of us to pick them all up. Oh god, the giggling...so much giggling. Did I make a purchase? You'll never know, will you. The end.
3 days ago