I've been planning on doing this for YEARS! Not with spray paint, but with bumper stickers planted all over the city. And SOMEBODY hired the Thought Police and stole my shit! And this is the shoddy result! Not a professional job AT. ALL. I'm so angry. That's why there are so many capital letters.
In my own city too! I hope they get sexually assaulted by a goat, whoever they are.
I took that on Sunday afternoon. Well, made Amy g. stop the damn car and let me out to take a picture with my phone after I yelled in outrage and scared her half to death is more like it. But anyway, that's how long I've been seething.
I went to a wedding this weekend. In a church. Not a big deal, right? Check out these two 'poorly re-quoted due to bad short term memory' quotes -
From a fellow attendee once I sat next to them in the pew:
"I would've thought you'd have burst into flames the minute after you walked in here"
From someone being told about the wedding after the fact:
"I'm surprised your skin didn't burn the whole time you were there"
What the hell? Am I some sort of heathen? Satanist? Necromancer? Death Eater (nerd!)?
Of course, I did accidentally swear while congratulating the groom about 2 seconds after I entered.
But still! Surely that doesn't warrant such assumptions! I bet other people accidentally sweat(typo - keeping it) in church!
I don't hiss when the cathedral bells toll! I don't knock over nuns and take their Rosary beads! I even capitalized Rosary without even knowing if I'm supposed to! There's respect there!
Anyway, I'm totally offended. But more amused. I've never thought of myself as an anti-religion crusader. I mean, I'll debate it with any and every one and I dig at Brendan about it out of curiosity...but it's not like I own a t-shirt that says "Down with religion". Apparently, I don't need to.
So this is a warning to all who may invite me to their churchified weddings. I may leave behind a burned out spot on the carpet that'll be a devil to clean.
1 day ago