Monday, November 14, 2005

I Got Dumped

Life changing events. They're changing. I resent them for that. It's not fair. You have a path, and it's a wonderful path and then there's a life changing event and totally fucks up the path. Who's in charge of that? Who can I send my letter of complaint to? What can be done?

When you get dumped, you feel like you've walked through some door into a world that looks exactly like your own but some how, it's slightly askew. Nothing is where you thought you put it. You don't know what to do with yourself at odd times. You follow all your same rituals, but something is missing and at some point in the day, you stop and wait to figure out what comes next because there's an empty space. You hear something important and go to repeat it and then you stop and realize you have no one to repeat it to. I suppose the feeling is the same whichever side of the drama you were on. But it feels more vibrant being the dumpee, I'd say. You haven't prepared yourself for those lost moments. You have no pre-planned ways of filling them. And so your life changes.

I assume the reasonable thing would be to believe that little by little, you find ways to fill those moments, or people to tell those important tidbits to and before you know it you're back on the right side of the door.

At least that's how I hope it works. Right now that door seems to be maybe there's a chair under the knob. And I can't find my keys. They're not where I put them.