Thursday, December 29, 2005

I'm Not Home!

Merry Christmas to me. Forget everyone else. Next Christmas I'm going to pretend I'm not home. I'm going to see how long that lasts. I have too much family. I need to shave a bit off. I can't figure out where to put them all...they take up so much space. Space that I need to fill with cocktails and witty poltical jokes, and gossip about who's dating who. I need that space for frivolous self-involved things. But Christmas forces me to be flexible and I don't like being flexible. It's too exhausting.

I tell you what helps, though. Presents. Glorious presents. Something about ripping open paper, none of this gift bag nonsense, but ripping open and truly wasting hoardes of colorful wrapping paper...there's just nothing that can compare. The sheer excess of it all truly delights me, like the window of a candy store to a little brat. Like Las Vegas to the middle class.

2 keep(s) me blogging:

Laura said...

Well, we did manage to shave off a few unseemly relatives this year. Merry Christmas from my dysfunctional family to yours!

Anonymous said...

You likely inherited some of that Christmas baggage holdover from your Dad (me). My Dad also liked to have cocktails but would get drunk, fall down and knock the tree over before we got the whitty jokes part. But I loved getting all the cool toys! Too bad I didn't take better care of all those toys.. now I see all the stuff I used to set on fire in the back yard on "Antiques Road Show" now worth $600 a pop. What can I say, I was just a kid back then.