Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Where "They" Say My Heart Is

People are feeling removed from the loop, so let me get something straight.

I have indeed purchased a condo. The inside of which has two bedrooms, a fireplace and an AUTOMATED WASHING DEVICE for both clothes AND dishes. Plus a small closet for Brendan to live in with this things. You scoff, but it might have to be that way. You should see the boxes of books this boy wheels around in his peddler cart (Honda Fit) whenever he moves. He's obviously never had to do the great purge. I've had to do the great purge on a number of occasions. Books and LPs, the two heaviest thing-types, get thrown overboard. I try to hold onto the barrels of gunpowder as long as I can. Safety first.

The condo is in a neighborhood known as "Alberta". Which is actually just the name of the street, but whatever. It also used to be known as a ghetto. Any city with an actual ghetto would laugh at this and then pop a cap in your ass whilst simultaneously trying to sell you weed. I thrive on stereotypes.
Over the last couple of years, Alberta has become what I like to call Doucheberta. In other words, it's been gentrified to the point where many of the original inhabitants can't afford to live there anymore. And there are lots of shops that sell beaded shit and stationary. And restaurants that only serve vegetarians.

However. We cannot afford to buy in our current neighborhood. Well, strike that. I cannot afford alone to buy in my current neighborhood. So we're gonna baby-step our way back into SE by moving to the edge of gentrification in NE. C'est si bon.

Nextly, I still haven't decided on a mug. You guys gave me too many great options and I'm really pissed. You all know how I feel about decisions.

I'm also still annoyed with blogger. It hasn't done anything horrible lately, but I don't forgive easily so I may still break up with it. Dealing with "coding" and "bugs" and "RSS" bullshit is not my idea of a good time. Basically, I am of the opinion that technology can blow me. (Shhh, shhh, it's ok, I still love you, little VCR).

So now you're updated. Please do feel free to carry on with your day.

14 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

So now you're officially Brendan's landlady. I think it might excite him. Get ready for some kinky shit over the next few weeks.

Kara said...

currently he's my renter. if he's REALLY lucky, some day i'll make him my house frau.

Sarah said...

Oooh, I didn't even ask where it was. How self absorbed of me! I actually like Alberta. There are some really good restaurants over there. Including Bernie's...mmmm...gonna get me some collard greens & fried pickles.

Stinkypaw said...

Congrats on the condo, hope you'll enjoy it more than I do!

And good luck on the mug hunt!

Robert the Skeptic said...

So, as you settle in at your new Alberta digs, you need to read up on "The Plan":

Of course, it's just a legend... or is it?!

theWaif said...

It's "Alberta Arts" -- get it right, sheesh! And how can you go on about our neighborhood's supposed gentrification when SE Belmont is so freakishly expensive and hipster-ridden? Face facts, it's become the Eastside version of NW trendy-3rd. You're much better off here with us. Just watch out for the occasional wafts of patchouli mixed with aroma of bean burrito.

Sarah -- You mean to tell me I've been living here for 3 whole months now within close proximity to fried pickles and I didn't even know it??? I gotta get on that.

d said...

congrats on the condo. i hope you're not expecting a house warming gift though, because i'm really cheap.

Twinkie said...

Welcome to my world. This past Sunday while saying bye to my in laws after my son's 10th birthday party we all got a bit of a "contact high" from our neighbors.

Now, mind you, our neighborhood isn't a real "bad" neighborhood by any means but it's definitely not "upper class" either.

If it was, the weed would have been way superior.

Cat said...

I'm my boyfriend's landlady too - it's good for keeping the power balance just...right.

What's a condo anyway? Is that American for house?

The Future said...

You keep making these blanket statements about places being this and that and then you turn around and you move there. So, just how emphatic can you be about how "douchey" it really is in this case?

Mary Witzl said...

Hang on there -- is there actually a device for washing clothes AND dishes? And why don't I have one?

Jill said...

At the risk of being politically incorrect (But not as politically incorrect as you for actually buying in a gentrified area, hee hee), it's usually a good thing to buy in an area that's becoming gentrified if it works for your lifestyle. You don't have kids right now, so you don't have to care about the school district you're in, and lots of other things. Those property values will only go up.

Woohoo! You've got a mortgage. I think that means you're officially a grown-up.

Rachel said...

i know i left a comment! it was a good comment, and blogger must have eaten it like it was a chocolate truffle.


Woozie said...

Just thought I'd pop in to say I love the writing, and you should shoot yourself in the foot for still owning a VCR.