Friday, June 24, 2005

I Protest

Today I'm wearing monkey shoes in protest. I'm protesting Scientology, George Lucas, platform shoes, non-payday Fridays, and puns. All together. At once. Collectively. Because they all make me equally angry.

I'm done being angry at the worthwhile stuff, 'cause there's really nothing you can do about it, but everytime I hear a pun escape from someone's mouth I can just slap them.

If I read about Scientology in the paper, I can wrinkle it up into a ball and set it on fire, then put it in my Weber grill under some coals and cook burgers on it.

If I see George Lucas' ewoky face on television I can quickly turn it off, throw the remote across the living room, call Comcast and cancel my basic cable eliminating all reception. I'll even cancel the TiVo, I'm so angry.

I will call in sick on all non-payday Fridays. And each time I call, it will be with something deadly and/or contagious like the Consumption or Typhoid.

As for platform shoes, I have one word for you...chainsaw.

And my monkey shoes will sparkle and shine with glee.

Or, I can calm the hell down with a nice cup of tea.

1 keep(s) me blogging:

Anonymous said...

I think you need that cup of tea sooner rather than later, you Condi-hater you! i don't think she's worth so much angst. She's a twit placed in office by an even bigger twit both of whom are going to go down in history as two sorry jokes, that is if they don't blow us up first.