Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Tourists


The northwest is considered by some to be a kind of green thumb Garden of Eden. Today is June 28th and the sky hasn't changed from gray to blue once. Yesterday it rained all day. Apparently, one may not use a lawnmower in the rain. I find this intolerable. What kind of geographical excludism is this? I should sue. Or write a letter. How do people engage in the proper level of lawn care in other wet locals? Especially since rain makes things grow like they've been injected with steroids. How hard can it be in this day and age to give something back to the poor, overfed underexercised northwesterners who don't get to see the sun?

Anyways, I saw some tourists the other day and that cracked me up. Summer time comes and it's time to plan a vacation...where to go, where to go...Oregon! The land of the beaver and the blueberry. I don't know that I've ever seen a beaver actually. No non-football playing beavers anyway. And while you're here, before the water soaks through your hiking boots and makes your socks all moist and uncomfortably stuck to your feet...you should try to walk outside a little bit because things are oh-so-green!

Our area of the country is known for ONE type of cuisine...and that is salmon. If you don't like salmon then your stupid and you will starve.

We're also known for our hypocrisy, as the only state that voted for both Kerry and an amendment to ban gay marriage (and thereby equal rights) forever. What does blue and red make together? Ah yes, we're a purple state.

And we're known for our exceptionally bad basketball team, the Blazers. The team where they get more press from their drug busts than their playing.

We DO have some great bands from here. But they're easier to see in other cities.

That being said, I still don't' know what to do about mowing the grass in the rain.

5 keep(s) me blogging:

Laura said...
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Laura said...

It always has surprised me to see tourists in Portland. Not sure why, except it just doesn't seem like there's much to do or see here, at least nothing that would take more than the span of an hour. Anything thing Portland's got, Seattle's got beat, as far as tourism goes.

But I do take exception to the local food comment, we have many restaurants with delectible local fare serving other than fish. I just can't think of any right now, but I know they're out there. And we're known for more than just salmon and blueberries. We're also known for hazelnuts. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Anonymous said...

You neglected the penultimate hypocrisy of this state, and ONLY this state: It is legal to kill yourself but it is not legal to pump your own gas.

So I want to commit suicide by immolation - riddle THAT one, Supreme Court!!

Anonymous said...

Portland is a tourest town but CORVALLIS is a real town. We saw Jesus riding a bicycle on 3rd st. in Corvallis. I wasn't sure, but my wife was sure. I said, "How do you KNOW that's Jesus on that bicycle?". She said, "Because he isn't wearing a helmit". So I asked, "What's that got to do with him allegedly being Jesus?". She answered, "Why would Jesus NEED a helmit? You think Jesus is going to fall off the bike and hit his head? Think about it! He's JESUS for cristsake! You can't hurt Jesus so he doesn't need a helmit". So it must have been Him, on a bicycle, riding the wrong way on 3rd st. without a helmit. Don't see that very often in Portland. - Anonymous

ryan said...

There are beavers out at my house, if you'd like to see them in the wild. Of course, they're out of state beaver to you. Dirty Washington beavers.