Friday, June 30, 2006

Happy 4-Day Weekend, Suckers!

Our fucking corporate office (with the company colors being red, white, and blue and the website sporting the flag as a background) doesn't believe in giving its employees the day before July 4th off, even though the holiday falls on a Tuesday. The rest of the known fucking world (ok, maybe not, but you get my exasperated drift) has that Monday off, cause it's the fucking PATRIOTIC thing to do. Stupid job. Stupid stupid stupid job. You'd think I could come up with a more elaborate insult, but this stupid place isn't even worth the effort. It's barely even worth the repetition.

Anyway. I'm taking Monday off so I can pretend I work in a decent establishment instead of an email marketing whorehouse. That's right...I'm an email marketing whore. I'm not proud of this. No child stands up before their Kindergarten class behind little Kevin who is going to be a fireman, and says "I'm going to spam the world with email marketing to ensure the pathetic losers who shop online ALL DAY LONG can receive the most up to date offers from the Home Shopping Network". It just doesn't happen.

I'll tell you what does happen...student loans happen. I don't have even the remotest idea of how the next generation is going to afford college. They say that those with a college degree make 70% more on average than those who don't in the workplace. I think I got that off NPR, but I can't remember. I'm fairly certain I didn't make it up, though. And here I am, living month to month in the world's saddest little apartment, slowly being poisoned by black mold, with a crappy paying job that I wouldn't even have if it weren't for my degree, which I'm not even USING. This is scary stuff. When I go to try to buy a house, I may just end it all (McGuyver-style with a Q-tip, scotch tape and a turkey baster).

Actually, life isn't really all that bad. But what's the use of a blog if you can't throw yourself a 24/7 pity party all year 'round! Somebody bring me a jello shot!

7 keep(s) me blogging:

Laura said...

I like lime jello.

That is all.

Anonymous said...

Snake Hunters said:

Anyone raised on jello & koolaid
probably needs a "pity-party" for

You mentioned having a degree, and I couldn't help wondering about the
chosen subject.

I would offer some solid advise,
but the odds are pretty good that
you'd reject that, and blame your
boss, your parents, your stupid
neighbors for your current unhappy circumstance...right?

So, read a serious blog about an effort to confront a bunch of savages that would like to take
your foolish head off, Sucker!

Connie said...

I worked for a company 7 years, was highly thought of and did a great job. I went for a manager position and was up against another person similar to me however this person had a college degree and I didn't. I had slightly more experience. The interview process went on for three weeks or better, I guess it was a tough decision. However, the bottom line was the other person got the job. Your degree will pay off, you'll see one day.
In the meantime, I recomend you read the revised updated version of Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, it was orginally published in 1937, old but still very good. Oh, I don't have Monday off either.

AxAtlas said...

Jello shots can lead to sailor shanties. Seems like you were on a roll when typing up the first paragraph.
Soccer moms depend on your work. You help fill the hole in their soul that their social-climbing hubbies can't fill.

Devina Bosephus said...

I didn't have Monday off. I had to work ALL DAY. Actually not ALL day, and granted, I did get to do most of it in a bath towel at home. And the rest of the time was naked eating nachos. But still...

However, you're post in correct in one aspect. You apartment is quite sad.

poppersmoke said...

Hey, I think we're colleagues. I sit in the cube next to the 2nd-floor men's room -- the one with the very loud flushes. Well, gotta go. The account exec promised the client 104 banner ads by Monday morning and if I work fast I may only have to come in one day this weekend.

daggahead said...

I had to burn a friggin vacation day for July 3rd.

You ain't the only one ...