Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What Dreams May Come

A couple of months ago, I had this incredibly vivid dream about zombies. It was easy to figure out why....Shaun of the Dead had been on TV a lot, and I pretty much can't not watch it when it happens to be on. Still.

I was in my own neighborhood (with the obvious "dream" variations) with my family, friends and coworkers (at different points), and we were collectively attempting to escape via the normal escape-from-zombies channels. At one point, I am alone and cross a street to the opposite sidewalk. The sidewalk is garnished by some tall shrubbery from which two zombies suddenly emerge. I felt brave, for you see, I had crossed the street with a nice, big baseball bat in my clutches. I was gonna knock this sort of dead bastard's brain in.

I go in for the hit. And again. And again. His eyes do this kind of old school video game thing where the giant black pupils shrink to almost nothing. I know that if they disappear all together, he's a goner. But they don't...they start to shrink, but come back again. What the hell? I check my weapon to find that it's no longer a bat, but a plastic comb. The same one I use in the (waking) mornings to untangle my hair. I'm toast. Panic. Wake up. End scene.

It's 4:00 AM. Think about something else. Think about something else. So. Sleepy.

And back in zombie scenario.

That was months ago.

Last night, I go to bed way early, like, 10:30. No good reason - I've had some wine and watched a Ricky Gervais rom com (The Invention of Lying - not awesome, sadly). All harmless.

I'm in a house in the French countryside. All old world and ivy-ey. It's some sort of party...not wild, just like a dinner party or something. Weird stuff starts to happen...there are people outside and they're moaning and banging on the door and walls. We turn on the TV and yes...zombies. Damn.

It gets a bit fuzzy after that. There are some secret passages. Some "friends" lost. Somehow someone got a shotgun, but I think we lose them too..

Then I'm in a room and a zombie is attacking my friend. I have no gun, no bat, nothing. So I grab a pillow off a bed and try to smother the already-not-needing-oxygen corpse by pushing its head against the wall. Yes, the zombie is upright. No, it's not working.

It's not working at all. Shit. I'm toast. Panic. Wake up. End scene.

It's 4:00 AM. Think about something else. Think about something else. So. Sleepy.

Yeah - right back in it.

So what gives? I'm not one of those people who watches horror movies with glee. Not a huge Romero fan. I don't participate in the Portland Zombie Walk. Why am I having the most realistic and terrifying dreams I've had since childhood (and that one that I had from reading The Road) about being attacked by the undead?

Anyone have an idea? Thoughts? A dream encyclopedia?

9 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

You have dreams like this when life is too comfortable and contented. Too little stress is as bad for the mind as too much. You must be living like a queen bee, feeding off nectar brought to you by workers, and putting weight on your butt.

Anonymous said...

Well I'm no psychotherapist, but it sounds to me like panic attacks. Perhaps there's something in your waking life that's stressing you out and worrying you, and instead of spiraling down into panic while you're trying to cope with life, your mind puts it off until you're asleep, where things are calmer and safer, and where panic won't be disruptive of your life.

Anonymous said...

It's simple. You have been chosen as a prophet and your dreams are telling you (and us) that the Zombie Apocolypse is nigh.

erin said...


I have 'running from monsters' dreams all the time that happen essentially just like that. They're usually very cliche and then end with me face to face with one of them with no weapons.

And Shaun of the Dead is probably kind of close to being one of the best movies of all time.

Charlie said...

Nothing gory about the video—do they show that on primetime family hour?

I believe the zombies you dream about are a substitute for your dad and any "issues" you've had over the years.

I'm so full of shit that even I don't believe me.

Auri said...

Zombies are awesome!! Lucky you to have so many zombie dreams recently;) Ok... I dig the movies but I think I'd be distraught if I kept losing sleep over fictional characters. I think GB is right... maybe you should take a pic of the toosh so we can see;)

Wow, that was awkward said...

This will probably only make it worse, but you should watch Zombieland. I loved it.

Denver has a zombie walk too. I watched in fascination for an hour.

The answer to every dream interpretation is usually something with anxiety. In this case, I just think your warped mind is having fun with you.

Robert the Skeptic said...

I watched the video... if you are choosing to watch stuff like that, expect to have Zombie dreams.

But to put this all in perspective, you are merely traumatized by current events. The Zombies represent the Republican Party and the fact that you can't kill them have to do with the fact that FOX news is running as well as ever. Hannity, Coulter, Beck and Limbaugh represent that concept that Zombies can still operate without brains or even being alive. Zombies, of course, proceed with a single purpose that they are not able to adequately elocute.

I prescribe more Public Broadcasting before bed.

The Future said...

Gee, let me see. I'm hearing "why me" from the weekly True Blood and whatever other bloody vampire scuzzy stuff you can find to watch daughter. Puhleez! I think you have selective memory.