Monday, March 03, 2008

See, This Is The Thing

The problem with my cooking is that it's horrible. I blame jazz. Jazz inspires invention...which often leads to disaster. Which often ends up in the garbage. I believe this is the reason I spend so many nights in a restaurant. Having recently returned from a place where there are limited types of food, I realize now that I am very lucky to have such cuisine choices available to me as Ethiopian food, Thai food, Chinese, Cantonese, Vietnamese, Tibetan food, Mexican both authentic and not, Italian food, Italian-inspired food, German, French, Creole, Cajun, Peruvian, Southern, Northern, Mid-western a la Hometown Buffet. And this is just scratching the surface. Sometimes figuring out what kind of food and where to eat it is the hardest decision I make all week. Disgusting, isn't it.

Where am I going with all of this? I haven't the foggiest. I just thought you should know that I'm a patriot. Not because I believe this land to be all that much more filled with promise than any other. Not because I believe in our political system or our culture. Certainly not because I am a product of its educational system. I adore this country because I can have Pho one night and go out for BBQ ribs the next. Maybe some Cuban food for lunch.

Of course that doesn't stop me from ingesting cereal and turkey sandwiches on a regular basis. Tomato soup and grilled cheese. Spaghettios. Yes. I love them. And that's ok. Because this is America. We may judge you based on your clothing, musical taste, political leanings, sexual orientation, choice of accessories, movie rentals, charities affiliated with, coffee additions, home decor and sport teams supported...but not what you eat. It's just not done.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm home. And I'm hungry.

24 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I think you should order a big plate of cowboy beans with hot red chillies. Yessir. Then go to a rodeo and fart until the cows come home. Now is the time to appreciate home culture, you can kiss foreigners on the butt later.

Stinkypaw said...

Welcome back and happy belated Birthday my dear!

That's one thing I enjoy a lot, the choices we have when it comes to food! And I'm not so sure that you're not judge on what you eat...

Glad to have you back!

Kara said...

goranas - gross. i missed you too.

stinkypaw - thank you and thank you! are you a food judger? what foods do you look down upon?

Rachel said...

I wasn't hungry when I first started reading this post, and when I came to the end, I was ravenous.

So, thanks for nothing.
Oh, welcome back to the real world!
Have some wine and chocolate. That's my advice.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Missed me? We were closer than we've ever been when you were in Romania. But yeah, you're more like your old self back home. Are you sad it's over? I'm looking forward to your high school reunion.

Jahooni said...

our little Kara is home and hungry. I have girl scout cookies I can send ;)~

Anonymous said...

kara
you.are.awesome.
love your blog!

The Future said...

So I want to know how you keep the cereal on your turkey sandwiches. I'd think you must be chasing that all over your plate. And I will never get over your love of Spaghettios, that is definitely a sign that no taste buds remain on your tongue. Don't you know they taste of the can?

froelica said...

That is EXACTLY how I felt when I came home from Europe. I was so sick of panini's after France... They have them everywhere. Now I'd kill for one.

Oh, and I just ate grilled cheese (with the ever-chemically Kraft American slices) and tomato soup (Campbells, made with milk, of course!)

froelica said...

Oh, and in case you're interested, James has several shows coming up. This sat. at Berbatis, next tues. at Satyricon, then the 21st at.... somewhere.

This is me being a supportive girlfriend. I try.

Stinkypaw said...

I don't really care what people eat, but I must say that I "look down" on canned food like "Chef Boyardee". It's been years since I've had one and somehow I don't really miss it... But I just love a good tomato soup and grilled cheese - anyday! ;-)

Rob Hopcott said...

Oooh, talking about food has got me thinking about red wine and ripe cheese.

Yum!

Great blog :-)

Cat said...

Sounds like you had a fab time - if somewhat cold! That picture of those men in the baths? Did it stink of sulphur? I once visited Bulgaria, and there were these warm spring baths that were meant to be a tourist draw, but lordy they stunk! And were full of old men in Speedos. I couldn't run away fast enough.

Welcome back, and chow down!

Mary Witzl said...

As a person reared on Chef Boyardee's spaghettios, Kraft macaroni and cheese, plus all kinds of TV dinners, I applaud this patriotic plug for our national cuisine of whatever the hell we want to eat. We've got it all in America, and God knows I love it all. I could have wept reading your first paragraph, honestly. I'd give a LOT for some authentic Mexican food not made by my own hands. In this town, you have to take out a mortgage just to buy overcooked crap with boiled-to-mush veg, all fried up in rancid oil. Gee, I must be hungry: even the thought of that is giving me an appetite.

Kara said...

rachel - i had a smidge of chocolate yesterday upon your advice. delightful.

goranas - that may be, but i was away from bloggy land. and i'm glad to be back home, since you asked. i was a little overly ambitious with this trip...and therefore, tired.

jahooni - i'm totally willing to purchase a couple boxes (come to mama, thin mints)...we'll just have to figure out how.

anonymous - well, it's obvious you don't know me at all...but you're a darling and can stay.

future - it's your fault, you working mom, you.

fro - woah lady. even i put tillamook cheese on my G.C.s. you're out of control. and i'd love to come to a show...i've just got to get over a bug i seem to have brought home with me.

stinkypaw - well, i must say...having been raised on the stuff, it inspired greater appreciation for real food once i tasted some...in my late teens.

robbo - but would you ever eat ripe wine and red cheese? that's the question. welcome.

cat - you get used to the smell...it takes much longer to get used the speedos...but once you do, you want to photograph them like you work for national geographic. the urge is overwhelming really.

mary - my dear woman, i would like to send you food. if only it would last the voyage. by the time it got there, it would prolly taste like your typical pub fare.

Robert the Skeptic said...

Hmm... Food for thought!

Jahooni said...

get on my blog, email me your address and they are yours! 2 boxes of thin mints will be on its way! ;)~

theWaif said...

Spaghettios are not fit for human consumption. I would rather eat pig slop. In fact, they're interchangeable, I doubt a pig could tell the difference. If you had anyone with Italian blood in your family who could make you real, delicious, edible pasta, you would realize your gross error in judgment on this point.

theWaif said...

And I'd wager pig slop is more nutritious.

theWaif said...

Oooh, did I just judge you on what you eat?

Ssssssnap!

Sarah said...

Kara Kara Kara...Oh how I missed you. First of all, great blog.I read it aloud to Lauren & Hayden and didn't have to bleep myself. Filthy sailor mouth, you. Second, come to James' show on Saturday. I will be there, sans kiddos of course. Third, your sister cracks me up.

AxAtlas said...

What? No love for the Easy Mac? What about the bacon maple bar doughnut? What? No lard? Where's the lard? Where's da beef?

Kara said...

dad - har dee frickin har har

waif - i'm so not even talking to you right now.
(but i am wearing one of my new shirts today and it's lovely, thank you)

sarah - yay no bleeping! it's sad when that's so rare it has to be pointed out. i'll try to come saturday, really i will. i'll call you. and laura's FACE is funny.

froelica said...

Yeah, you can make a grilled cheese with tillamook cheddar, but then you'd have to dip it in ketchup. And if I'm already having tomato soup why would I add ANOTHER tomato-ey, totally-not-made-of-tomatoes product?? Why???


Please tell me I'm not the only person besides James who does that...