Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Put A Lid On It. Yes, I had to go there.

There are two stalls in the women's bathroom. I always take the bigger (or 'handicapped') stall. Always. I like the extra room. If I feel the urge to flail before or after buttoning up my business, I want the option, you know?

So two separate times in the last month or so I've gone into MY stall in the afternoon to find the seat up. Not the lid, there is no lid...the toilet seat.

If I went in at 9:00 AM and found this, I wouldn't even question it. It just means I'm the first to visit since the cleaning lady the night before. But it was well beyond that point. There are enough women on the floor that a mid-afternoon raised-lid situation should never occur.

Here's the thing. We do have a transgendered woman on the our floor. But I don't think it's her. I think she's made the commitment to BE a woman, you know? I don't think she'd go there. Or if she did, she'd cover her tracks, so to speak.

So who?

And why?

Why?

Both times, I've walked it and just...not known what to think and/or say. Much like when I see things like this:
Urban Outfitters is trying to sell these by calling them Silence and Noise Harem Pants.

Who?

Why?


18 keep(s) me blogging:

The Future said...

I won't even point out all the typos because that will remind you of work. But I will ask if your trans gender has already had his/her surgery? Maybe he/she has forgotten their true identity at this point and they're just confused about the up or the down position. I think you should march right up to them and straighten them out. I'm behind you on this one, way behind you.

Woozie said...

Your seat dilemma might reveal itself in the form of a postsecret someday from a mysterious lady. "I lift the lid on toilets when I'm done--just to fuck with coworkers' minds!"

Silence and Noise Harem Pants? What?

Woozie said...

Lid, seat, whatever.

Kara said...

future - that'll teach me not to read my posts before posting them. "flail" and "her" have been fixed. the other mistakes can suck rope.

woozie - if they didn't lift the lids until AFTER they were done, that would fuck with the coworkers' minds indeed.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Have you ever tried assuming the position without your butt actually touching the seat? It's a great exercise for the thighs and calves while you're peeing, and you can do it without putting down the seat. Look for the woman who's firm down below.

Mary Witzl said...

Clearly someone else wants the optıon too, don't you think? And try the trick GB has so adroitly described. Comes in handy when you tour Asia, believe me.

Sarah said...

Hmmm.

The shoes are waaaay scarier than those pants.
We're gonna start seeing stirrups again, aren't we? Oh God. I'm not ready for this.

Jill said...

My god! Whoever designed those harem pants should be executed immediately.

Yes, I'd like some pants that fit tightly around the smallest parts of me and flap big and loose around the biggest part of me. Sure I do.

Shila Shila and Cult Jam said...

Lol. You should leave a passive-aggressive note about it in the bathroom.

:)

I like the handicapped stall better too. I get claustrophobic.

Stinkypaw said...

I might be weird to admit to this, but I've lifted seats before, for example when puking... or if said seat was too gross.

Maybe you have someone pregnant on your floor?!

Wow, that was awkward said...

It's the gal from down in accounting. She is tired of your snarky attitude toward her and has decided to mess with your psyche. Have things on your desk been rearranged?

Rachel said...

I LOVE THE PANTS ZOMG SRSLY GUYS!

as for the toilet seat issue...maybe its a man whose afraid of urinals. Did you get any new coworkers lately?

yinyang said...

Those pants are ridiculous.

Mandy's Kidding said...

I had those pants. Two pairs. One pair was black, one pair was ... gold.

I think I got them at The Limited or Express. Circa 1988, 89-ish? I wore them with a black blouse with a sewn on vest, the vest was just on the front of the shirt.

With a pair of black Via Spiga ankle boots.

This was one of my favorite outfits. I wore it to parties.

theWaif said...

The puking theory sounds entirely plausible. I'd go with that one. Coming from someone who went through morning sickness at your workplace.

What's the sales blurb for those pants, I wonder... "So you love stretch pants, but wear Depends and/or carry a lot of 'junk in the trunk'? Have we got the pants for you!!!"

twinkie said...

Maybe you're the first one to use it therefore the seat is still up from the cleaning people forgetting to put it down after cleaning the toilet?

AxAtlas said...

Wow. Urban Outfitters has totally lost their hiptocity or coolness. They should've easily named those pants 'Noise + Harem Pants' or added more random words to make it into a huge sentence to give it that ironic and unique edge.

d said...

is your cleaning staff around during the day? perhaps it was a midday mr. clean moment.

more likely, however, it's ghosts. they like to watch people pee.