Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Sister is a Jerkwad

The Waif's attack on my person has inspired a hasty post. And by 'hasty' I mean I may not spell check it.

Ok, I never spell check it.

I just want you all to know that I'm being stalked by sharks. Don't anyone tell them where I live.

Speaking of where I live - where you aware that I am attempting to buy a parking space. When I bought my little condo in the sky (2nd floor) so many months ago, we were told there were no extra spaces (10 units:9 spaces...ratios.). We would have to park always and forever on the street outside the anti-undesirables gate. And that was ok. Annoying, but ok.

Then a couple of weeks ago, I got a call that the developer of the, well...development, realized he'd never sold one of the spots and would I want to buy it.

Yes. Yes I would.

Soon I will be parting with an inconveniently-sized (though I low-balled like a champ) amount of money at an inconvenient time (we're heading off to Europe in a couple of weeks) so that I may own a rectangle of concrete on the
inside of the anti-undesirables gate. And once the deed is done, I shall do a jolly jig inside the nest of my rectangle. And then in a celebratory manner, we'll bbq meats within its confines. And then...well, we'll park Brendan's car in it. And it will be good.

Jigs and bbqs aside, all the back and forth and paperwork and third-party nonsense for a transaction such as this feels...silly. Like...wearing shoes on the beach silly. Or dead president masks to brunch, that kind of silly. You know what I mean.

In other news, I don't think break dancing really counts. As dancing, I mean. Just saying.

12 keep(s) me blogging:

Mary Witzl said...

The only place we can park is on the street. We've got a posse of youths in this town who enjoy ripping off people's L stickers (we've got a lot of budding drivers in this family and L is for learner), snapping off antennae, and bending back windshield wipers. If I had my own space that wasn't sheer hell to back into, I'd jolly well break dance myself. I say break out the champagne.

Gorilla Bananas said...

What makes you think you know how to do a jig, Missy? Have you ever been a sailor? I'll believe it when I see it.

Rachel said...

Congrats to bredan! Maybe if you cut off the mullet you can get on the OTHER side of the anti-undesireable barrier, too!

Rachel said...

Congrats to bredan! Maybe if you cut off the mullet you can get on the OTHER side of the anti-undesireable barrier, too!

Auri said...

I think you should video said jig in that brillo dress you posted about and put the whole damn thing on your blog.

Then for sure all the fairies and unicorns will be resurrected and sing praises to your name.

Then The Nothing will come and fly you to never never land. (no I'm not high, but I wish I were)

Charlie said...

Our gate was to keep the great unwashed out, until the Homeowners' Board found out that few of the residents rarely bathe.

Now NO ONE gets past THE GATE and we all sleep in the park across the street. I miss my house and my parking spot and my shark tank . . .

Robert the Skeptic said...

I think you should have a lot-warming party. Put the BBQ in the space and celebrate. Next, paint a Hello Kitty on the asphalt. Nobody else would ever DARE to park on Hello Kitty.

Susie Q said...

You are becoming more and more civilized, and it pleases me...

Ms. Salti said...

Glad you got your spot! BBQ'ing in it sounds like a challenge!

kara said...

mary - join the posse. then you'll be in the know when shit's about to go down.

goranas - i can dance a fucking jig like nobody's fucking business. fuck.

rach - congrats to ME! he's still be on the street if it weren't for me. sort of.

auri - shit, i forgot to buy that! i'll go back this week and see if it's still there.

charlie - but is the park at least picturesque? if you have to pee behind a shrub, let it be sculpted into the shape of a popular animal.

dad - painting it isn't a bad idea. i'm thinking red.

sue - what? how? make it go back!

ms salti - i eat challenges for lunch! or something.

theWaif said...

Aw, who can't take a lil' joke, eh? Like how I turned Canadian just then?

To change the subject entirely, aren't you sad there will be no more Flight of the Conchords? Not as sad as I am. :~(

twinkie said...

oh dear lord am I spoiled? with parking. plenty and plenty of parking. FREE. Parking.