Many of you cannot follow directions. Admittedly, it's next to impossible NOT to consider the men's lives and how it may have affected both Dali and Hemingway's choice mustache shape and width, but rules are rules! That being said, there are two contenders for cookies. If we can't break the tie with your opinions, well then...I guess I have a shit ton of baking to do this weekend. Boo.Answer one comes to us from Amanda - wife...mother...band groupie...and longtime friend of B. She is also apparently the female version of the comic book guy from The Simpsons with her oddly anecdotal Hemingway trivia:
Hemingway did not actually have a mustache. What was believed to be a mustache are actually two very furry cat toes, as Hemingway was polydactyl, leading to his love for polydactyl cats. http://cats.about.com/od/felinegenetics/a/polydactyl.htm
What impresses me about this response, besides the fact that it's got a bibliography, is the idea that the mustache is there against his will. That regardless of whatever happens in his daily life, every morning he'll wake up and there it is. Looking like a ginkgo leaf. I like this.
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The second one comes from Randy...a non-reader of the blog....more specifically, an innocent bystander who was dragged into the debate via the Face of Book by a darling friend Sarah. I've met Randy once and find him to be a convivial fellow. Even more so after this:
Well, from my perspective, it appears that both their mustaches are pathetically girly, and frankly makes them each look like a Frenchman. On further analysis, the mustachioed upper lip of Dali does look like it has a mind of it's own, and almost appears to be sentient, moving, all be it slowly, from one side of his face to the other...so big bonus points there.
On the other hand, Papa's harried protuberance is slightly reminiscent of one Inspector Clouseau (again moving me towards the girly Frenchman indication), yet the Clouseau does no favors here for the Big Earn as it seems to have been left in the dryer on high heat just a bit too long and has thus shrunk two sizes. Although, each man's facial follicles are both lacking in what I'd like to term, the Selleck Coefficient, where the mustache itself, disembodied from it's wearer, is capable of solving crimes and bedding damsels in distress while looking badass in a Hawaiian shirt and a 1983 Ferrari, they do both serve a slightly more delicate function, that of keeping ants and other nefarious small organisms from entering each of its wearers nasal passages.
Dali's, if I'm correct, would do a whip flick motion to keep the little critters at bay, while Papasano's takes a less aggressive and more sluggish route, boring the small animals to death with overly long diatribes regarding how each individual hair grows "ever so slowly on the sloppiest of slopes on the faciest of faces, blah, blah, blah....". In conclusion then, I proclaim the Hemmingmouthwig to be the more tragic of the two, based solely on the fact that it looks dumb. Thank you reading, and I appreciate your time on this matter. Marty "The Bald Lip" Higgins
Though I have no idea what exactly makes a mustache "girly" since typically, women do not sport coiffed facial hair...and if they do, it's rarely on purpose...the effort put into the analysis demands respect.
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What I find the MOST interesting, and not just because I've worked straight through the day from 8 am until 9 pm and am on my 3rd glass of wine, is that it was really hard to call who won the label "most tragic". I'd like to say that a tally was possible, but many of the arguments were so garbled that I couldn't necessarily make out a definitive answer either way. The two contenders name Hemingway as the loser in the scenario, but in general answers were all over the map. I'm going to have to call it a draw.
But feel free to tell me your opinion on the matter. I know you will anyway.
So...on to things that matter...
I need to know what level of maimery (totally a word) will result if a yoga ball is dropped from 9 stories up. Thoughts?
10 keep(s) me blogging:
Uhhh... uhhh... moustache?
I propose the following solution: you force Brendan to grow each of these 'stashes, and whichever looks most tragic is therefore the winner!
Come on, Brenden, do it for the sake of knowledge!
As to the yoga ball maimery (excellent word!) On a scale of one to ten, I say eight. It may not cause direct harm to a person, but I'm quite sure that the destruction causes as it bounces into glass winodows and congested traffic is sure to significantly maim several innocent bystanders.
I propose the following solution: you force Brendan to grow each of these 'stashes, and whichever looks most tragic is therefore the winner!
Come on, Brenden, do it for the sake of knowledge!
As to the yoga ball maimery (excellent word!) On a scale of one to ten, I say eight. It may not cause direct harm to a person, but I'm quite sure that the destruction causes as it bounces into glass winodows and congested traffic is sure to significantly maim several innocent bystanders.
Sigh. I never get the answers right...
You're still talking about those damned pieces of bumfluff? A black mark to you for blogging a dead horse.
I still like Anne Coulter's moustache the best, and it would even be better if she jumped off a nine-story bulding holding a yoga ball.
This constant questioning reminds me of college, in which case I'm going to stage a sit-on-my-ass protest.
goranas and charlie...you two are a bunch (duo) of whiners! no cookies!
First of all, I think the bulk of the cookies have to go to Randy due to sheer quantity of thoughts, especially since there was some quality thrown in. Second, it's doubtful there would be any substantial maimery for the yoga ball target due to the fact that it would bounce off whomever or whatever with a minimum amount of force. Actually, on second thought, it would probably go flat at the first bounce.
Hitler - final answer.
Volume of words aside, is there anything more tragic than unrequested digits, feline or not, permanently attached to your lip?
What she didn't mention is that when he gets mad or drunk little claws come out.
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