Wednesday, October 22, 2008

This Is You All Up In My Business

This week blows. You ever have a week that just blows? And by the time it's Wednesday night, all you want to do is drink old wine and get through the next day so you can go with your coworkers to the Tillamook Macaroni & Cheese cookoff contest @ Kell's Irish Pub and drink yourself into overeating. That's all.

By the way, have you seen The Night of the Hunter? Rent it. Right now. I'm not even joking.

Consider that my review. I'm awesome.

AND for some reason we seem to have free HBO this week. Of all the bad timing. It's like the cable gods WANT me to punch them in the nads.

In other self-involved news, I have to go back on evil evil birth control pills because I keep getting hemorrhagic ovarian cysts. I'm not excited. I stopped taking hormonal birth control several years ago because I was the 5% that experienced horrible side effects for EVERY METHOD ON THE MARKET. But let me just say...hemorrhagic cysts are the devil. And I'm not talking about the Burgess Meredith or Elizabeth Hurley devil. I'm talking about the Tim Curry from Legend devil. You don't fuck around with that. Ever.
So now I will probably gain even more weight and go up another fucking cup size (I'm going to have to start wearing a back brace), but I'm sure Brendan will enjoy the halting of hormonal mood swings that inspire me to call him a girl to his face. And I'll actually have less pain in my life overall. So that's good. Plus no accidental babies. Don't want those until I'm ready to buy them.

16 keep(s) me blogging:

Orhan Kahn said...

Oh, wow. You're about ready to carve your name in the back of someones head, aren't you?

How 'bout a hug.

No, that wasn't an offer. Embrace yourself!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Yeah you've got the wrong kind of devil. You really need the gay one in South Park who took it up the butt from Saddam. That method of birth control is foolproof.

Mandy said...

Now I need to check and see if I'm getting free HBO this week. That would be awesome!

P.S. I've had good luck with Loestrin. No weight gain and no crazy.

Robert the Skeptic said...

I'm glad men don't have to go through all that hormone stuff. We just slowly become more dim as we age. And... uh, what were we talking about now??

nic said...

Oh, hon, I'm sorry. I don't know what those are, but if they are the devil, I hope you can find something new that will not be so bad... I'll keep my fingers crossed, okay?

The Future said...

I don't know, Kara, TMI comes to mind. Or, you could just publish your medical records and save yourself some time! But, of course, that's the beauty of your blog, you never hold back. Otherwise, I guess it would become the devil's blog which brings us full circle. Oh well.

Stinkypaw said...

Being painfree is worth a lot! Even the price of a new bra and gain weight... I'd give a lot or gain a lot to be painfree that much I know! Even if I do carry some extra weights even without any pills ;-)

Rachel said...

get a hysterectomy. there, all problems solved.

youre welcome.

Sarah said...

You're gonna buy accidental babies?

Rachel said...

OMG, so I was stumbling this morning and I found a site that made me think of you and Brendan and Chopwatch'09.

Check IT:
http://www.dyers.org/blog/beards/beard-types/

hope you are inspired!
El Insecto might be awesome!

Susie Q said...

Tim Curry's devil is flippin' terrifying! The horns, ((shudder)), the sickly smile, (((shudder))), but the voice... yeeesh, I've done gone and sceeerd myself!
Oh and sorry about the womenly troubles. I hope you find the right pill, right fast!

AxAtlas said...

I agree with your parents. We dumb and TMI squared!

d said...

stolen babies are the best!

Kara said...

or - yes.

goranas - ew.

mandy - but what about crazy weight gain? see what i did right there? awesome.

dad - don't you worry your pretty little head.

nic - don't do that for too long, they'll get cramped and i don't need us both out of commission.

future - i'm a giver and a sharererer.

rachel - ow.

sarah - yeah, when they go on sale. duh.

rachel - that was awesome.

sue - i know, i totally want to watch that movie right now.

ax - oh i'm SORRY...is my PAIN ooging you OUT?

d - deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

twinkie said...

heeeeeeeeeeee! I'm so glad I stumbled accross this blog.

problemchildbride said...

Bad luck on the cysts, gal. I've been on birth control most of my adult life. The 5 or so years I wasn't I developed endometriosis plus I got those same cysts of which you are heart sick now. Painful isn't the word.

Better luck on the jujubes, eh.