Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Honest To Peckinpah!

That's my new swear word, "Peckinpah!" I'm well aware that it isn't a swear word at all, but the last name of a director, but bear with me a moment. Ok, imagine you've just stubbed your toe, or been cut off by the car in front of you, or you lost your keys AGAIN. You want to let loose a string of the usuals, but they all sound so hollow now. So over-used. So...unoriginal. And so, you shout "Aww, Peckinpah!" And then it hits you. It's the perfect swear word! It rolls beautifully off the tongue...it has the perfect number of syllables. You can say it in school, and not get detention. You can say it in church and not get smote! "Peckinpah" will change the world!

Ok, so, it's fucking hot here. Or at least it was up until today. Oregonians aren't meant for 100 degree weather. We deflate. We do crazy things like run to Home Depot and buy window units that we can only use 10 days out of the year and the rest of the time will serve as a plant stand for our African Violets. I'm not one of those people. I'd like to think it's because I'm above the need to keep cool...but really it's because I'd have to lug the box home on the bus. And I'd probably be wearing cute wedge heels (cause it's summer and that's what I do) so it could get awkward.

Anyway, air conditioning is for pansies. It's like that fake air they circulate on airplanes, you know, because the real air would kill everyone. Whatever. Pansies.

10 keep(s) me blogging:

Laura said...

"Ok, so, it's fucking hot here."

I believe you mean it's Peckinpawing hot in here.

Alas, no swear word-replacement will ever beat "sweet gherkins!"

mary said...

the final answer to everything

Justin said...

In the South, we have all sorts of sayings, such as

"Sweet jumping Jehosephat!"
"It's hotter than a barnyard of rabbits in here!"
"Well, shove me in a dress and call my Ellie Sue!"

AxAtlas said...

Last night on a road, some dude in a Hummer cut me off. I tried to say Peckinpah but out came Pikachu....Hooked on Swearnics isn't working for me.

Niall said...

I generally tend not to do things unless I see a point in doing them, and no matter how many people I ask, nobody can give me a reason for cursing/swearing ... ye got any ideas?

Kara said...

Good lord, who ARE all you people?

laura - Sweet Gherkins my Peckinpah (ok, so it doesn't quite work for replacing "ass")

mary - wha?????

justin - you just got served on your own blog for trying to one-up my Peckinpah, but I dig you man, I dig you.

axatlas - of all the freudian slips that ever there was...that is the scariest

niall - reasons for swearing: 1. it helps you relax, which keeps you from having a heart attack, which keeps you from dying. 2. it's fun, and fun things help you relax, which keeps you from having a heart attack, which keeps you from dying. 3. jesus, this is exhausting, just do it already.

Niall said...

Hmmm, I don't know if they are real reasons for swearing ... they all seem to revolve around relaxing. I find people swear most when they are not relaxed, and have seen no proof that after doing the above, they are more relaxed.

Who am I? Well, that's a secret isn't it :) (I've never heard anyone complain about having people look at their site before!)

Kara said...

Niall...this isn't complaining...this is an exclamation of wonder!

Emily said...

the reason for swearing is to find awesome alternatives to swearing.

STAK said...

i triple dog dare you to live through a summer in South Carolina without air conditioning.......pansies indeed......