Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Where To Go, Where To Go

So it's my birthday on Saturday (hold for applause) and I'm trying to figure out where to drag my friends for the mass consumption of celebratory alcohol Friday night. Or consolation alcohol...however you want to look at it.

This year, I don't seem to give a shit about my birthday. Usually I'm excited about everyone celebrating the fact that I walk the earth...but this year, I'm too distracted...and not all that happy with the path I'm currently walking. So I don't really feel like making anyone else celebrate it.


And I don't want to wear heels. This will be a
beat-up-mint-green-so-faded-they're-almost-yellow-so-it's-
actually-kind-of-gross Converse birthday.

And I don't want to go to a fancy dinner or club. I want to go the the bar down the street that serves chicken and waffles. Shut up. It's good.
So maybe I will celebrate it. I'll celebrate NOT celebrating it.

Alls I can say is...27 better show me SOMETHIN'. Or I will destroy it.


Wait...that doesn't work.


Whatevs. This post sucks rope.
What the fuck is a 'rainbow birthday'? How will I know if I have one? Stupid Care Bears. I don't need their philosophical bullshit. My toe hurts.


16 keep(s) me blogging:

Jen said...

Oh you silly silly girl. You are so very young and you have plenty of time to find the path littered with gold coins and sweet ass shoes. When you find it, if you could please pick up some of those sweet ass shoes for me in a 6 1/2. Maybe something orthopedic since I've been walking my lame-ass path a good 10 years longer than you. If only Logan's Run were real, I'd have been 30 forever. I hope you know what Logan's Run is. See, that's how young you are.

And have a Rainbow Birthday. Damn it.

AxAtlas said...

Thank you for placing “(Hold your applause)” in the first sentence. If you had not, I would have been unable to read the rest of your post.
Oh and with yer bday and all…continue to fight the power

froelica said...

Kara, when you have a rainbow birthday, you'll just know...

slaghammer said...

Now that’s what I’m talking about. You give that pizza slinger the last five sentences in this post and then kick him right in the nuts. I just can’t see how you could go wrong.
Happy Birthday by the way.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Whatevs. This post sucks rope

I'm 5 years older than you and I don't even know what that means. Is it rude? All I know is that now I've learnt it, I'm probably too old to say it. Cherish these years of saying sucks rope and not sounding like mutton dressed as lamb.

I didn't know you could serve chicken with waffles either. It's like there's a yawning cultural chasm between California and Oregon.

Happy Birthday when it comes, Kara. Wear your heels. If your toe is better.

Jill said...

27 is a great age to be. You're far enough away from the impending doom of 30 that you don't care yet, but you're past the dumbness of the early 20's. Enjoy!

My advice: Wear whatever the hell you feel like wearing. Demand to go where ever you feel like going and smack anybody who complains about it. Punch anybody who sends you a "rainbow birthday" and kill the Care Bears. (My advice seems to involve a lot of violence, doesn't it?)

Happy Birthday!

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Jills's right. Punch that green Care Bear good.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I think you should make a birthday video and put it up here. Wear an amusing tea shirt, make some funny faces and give us your message from the horse's mouth. You can eat while you're doing if you like.

Kara said...

jen - i don't know what Logan's Run is. nope.

ax - i didn't ask you to hold it...i held FOR it. in other words, i expect you to applaud.

fro - ok.

slag - you WANT me to be alone forever, don't you!! and thank you.

sam - thank you very much...you know...i just might.

and i stole "suck rope" from peter boyle (RIP) who was actually quite an old man when he used it. so you see? you should start saying it immediately...and continue doing so til you are old.

jill - yay violence! i see "celebrate" means exactly the same thing to you as it does to me.

sam - word.

goranas - you know...i can't think of ONE person who'd want to see that. not one.

apterix55 said...

The Care Bears are simply a metaphor for all the pain and sorrow of life. The rainbow represents that passionate happiness which will always remain just out of reach. So what the Care Bears are saying about birthdays is that no matter how hard we try, we will have another birthday each year until we all die. So have a Happy Rainbow Birthday.

AxAtlas said...

Welp, good thing I misread it then b/c I wouldn't have finished your post if I read it as FOR. Thank ya Karebear.

Laura said...

I don't wanna hear all this waa, waa, waaing from someone turning 27! I'm 30 this year so you can suck rope. Care Bears really must die though. Actually, by the looks of it, the yellow and green ones have already started the massacre... they've got that poor purple one strung up. Maybe that's what "having a rainbow birthday" really means. It's care bear code for "kill the purple one."

I bounty hunt for Jabba Hut... to finance my vett (wikki-wikki).

Stuck in your head now, isn't it? :P

Kevin said...

Happy fuckin' birthday!

Sarah said...

Kara, you're older than me. Does that make you feel better? Oh? No? Sorry.

Anonymous said...

If this lame post is a way you think you can make everyone admit their ages, you have another think coming (especially for those of us way oder than you)! If you think about it (definitely a thoughtful response) this is the ONLY day of the year that is yours alone (unless you happen to know someone else with the same bd). Therefore, it's the only day you really have a right to celebrate, putting yourself first. So there and so do it! After all, whose permission do you need besides mine...just kidding.

The Future

A chuisle said...

happy rainbow birthday!!!!! carebear stare!