Sunday, December 30, 2007

I Bet YOU Don't Have One

Yesterday, I paid good money to receive something called a "rock 'n roll" haircut. I had no idea what that involved, so when the Greaser with the pompadour holding the scissors told me what he was about to do to me, I was all "whatevs". This is what happens when I get the (rare) opportunity to read trashy magazines. I stop paying attention. Plus, they ply you with free liquor...judgment impaired on all sides!

So basically...with no rhyme or reason...he just started chopping chunks off. Some of it is really short and some was left long and now I look like Joan Jett, only slightly less mullety. And blond. And I'm about 10 lbs heavier. Maybe 15. Shut up.I can't tell you how rock 'n roll I feel now, with my new look. Immediately after paying I had the urge to get a tattoo and trash a hotel room. But I couldn't and therefore, didn't. So I settled for riding home in the rain WITHOUT a helmet. So badass. Go ahead and be jealous that you aren't me.

So what's everyone doing for New Years? The world's most anti-climactic holiday where we all count down to midnight and then go, 'ok, now what?'. Well, maybe that's just here. In other countries there are fireworks and brouhahas. Here we all just get smashed playing boardgames or at bars and then fight over taxis to get home. No fireworks. No brouhahas. No presents. No turkey with stuffing. No heart shaped boxes of chocolate. No baskets of brightly colored eggs. Booo.

When we were kids, the waif and I would battle to stay up long enough to bang on pots and pans outside at the stroke of 12...but that lost its oomph after a while. We were never really loud enough to piss off any neighbors, so what was the point, you know?

I think I'm whiny because 2008 brings around my 10 year high school reunion. And that really kinda chaps my cookies, because I had planned to send a video greeting from whatever location I was directing/producing/writing my latest film. So, I'm running out of time to become a director/producer/writer with a film to make at an exotic location. I have til, like, May I think. Shit. I have things to do.


18 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

The high school reunion sounds like a bitchfest. Audition for a part in a play. You're a good double for the little blond chick in Star Trek Voyager - the one who had a thing for the ugly troll. Otherwise, say you've been doing charitable work. Helping the gorillas in the Congo sounds good. I can write your lines for you.

Rachel said...

I TOTALLY want to see a picture of YOU in your new do. Joan Jett? Pbftt! You're the only rock star in MY life. PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Otherwise, I plan on doing nothing for New Years. I hate the societial obligation fake fun for a meaningless bullshit "holiday" anyway. Sorry for my bitchiness (I blame it on my PMS and my period which starts on Teusday around 4 am--yes, it is that predictable. Shut up.) I say take your new years parties and shove it.

Love ya, kiss, kiss.

froelica said...

I like New Years...

Except that this year I have to go to James' work to kiss him at midnight. Blech.

ZenBoomer said...

The best New Year's parties I've ever been to I slept through. It just keeps getting better!

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

I love New Year's, me. It's all steeped in tradition and mad ritual and shortbread and 85 proof liquor where I come from. Hogmanay is the biggest Scottish party of the year and we party til the grey dawn, em, dawns on us and we are made shiny and new again for the New Year. Shiny anyway. Occasionally raggedy. Quite possibly hospitalised. We dance in the freezing streets with inadequate clothing on catching the hacking coughs that will stay with us 'til March but not feeling a thing on account of the 85 proof central heating and the warmth/burny rash you get from kissing complete strangers. What could be better?

I too want to see your locks!
Locks locks locks! Show us yer locks!

Happy New Year, you dafty, lovely Kara-gal.

May you have -
Walls for the wind
And a roof for the rain,
And drinks bedside the fire
Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire.

Slainte mhor, a'ghraidh.

Kara said...

goranas - i can't believe you just compared me to someone on star trek voyager. i have no comeback for that. nothing.

as for writing my lines...i'll be contacting you when i know the date.

rachel - i dunno about a picture. jett's coif is so much fuller and fascinating than mine. we'll see if something gets taken at new years.

we usually go the beach for new years but this year kansas' job schedule sux, so we can't. a house party it must be.

fro - well, at least he can mix you a drink directly after.

zenboomer - you're not that old!!!!

sam - does this mean my application has been accepted? weeeeeee! pass me some Glen Rockycragg!

theWaif said...

How do you afford your rock 'n roll haircut?

Can't wait to see the new 'do. Here's what I'm picturing...it's a little bit Joan Jett meets Vince Noir (you'll need to cut/paste the link into a new browser window to view):
http://bp2.blogger.com/_QCwzwmLsxPM/R3lYdFqbzDI/AAAAAAAAACg/yoQKRtcfokQ/s1600-h/newdo.jpg

And how long will the workers keep building him new ones?

As long as the soda cans are red, white and blue ones.


Aww yeaaahh...

thethinker said...

I demand a picture of your new haircut.

And for New Year's, I get to write my last college application essay for tomorrow's deadline. Lucky me.

Leftoverture said...

Don't feel too bad dear. I was supposed to be living somewhere cool taking photos of swimsuit models by the time I was your age. I had virtually gotten nowhere by the time I went to my 11th yr reunion. (That's right...11th year...the ball got dropped on the 10 year one.)

Orhan Kahn said...

This post is missing something.. it could be a picture, but I'm never too sure of these things.

AxAtlas said...

Wow. New do for 2K8 (2-Kate...nevermind). Way to prepare for the high school reunion (the pat benetar look in "Fast Times" right?). My 10 wasn't that bad...okey it sucked. High levels of lamenessocity. So yes, you must get on the ball with your dream...no pressure.

Stinkypaw said...

May 2008 be a year that brings good friends, good health, good luck and good things! ...and let's not forget good hair! ;-)

Mary Witzl said...

I currently have waist-length hair and I am scheduled for a haircut very soon (the hair will be donated to a charity, to become a wig for some hairless person). I am sorely tempted to shave my head, leaving only a Mohawk strip down the middle, but my kids argue that this would be unseemly in a middle-aged woman. Now, I really would do this, but they claim that if I did, they would not walk down the street with me. So your rocker haircut is beginning to sound like a very tempting alternative.

I too await photographs!

Jill said...

I'm adding my voice to the din. You CANNOT tell us all about your new hair and not post a picture.

P.S. Fighting over taxis sounds a lot more exciting than our New Year's Eve celebration. Dick Clark is really starting to scare me. It's time for the man to retire.

EmmaK said...

So what's everyone doing for New Years?...I left a party and was asleep before midnight. Best new year's eve I've had for a while funnily enough!

nic said...

I DEMAND PHOTOS!
Because my hair is doing this quasi-Baby thing from Dirty Dancing! Heh. Rock from the 80s is so much better than whatever this is from the 60s but really the 90s. But yeah, I'm jealous that I'm not you today.

My 10 year was disturbing. I was glad to see my friends that I never got to see often enough, but there was this odd tension within myself to revert back to my old panic stricken wannabe ways. Yikes.

New years: from one party to another where we put the kids to bed and watched the ball drop with many children, two trashed adults, three sober ones, and dick clark. Bless the man, it was good to see him again but you can tell he's been through the ringer.

Sarah said...

Well, I'm a tad late on this post, but here ya go...
What's with you getting your hair cut a week after me making a big deal telling you how much I like it long? Huh? Does my opinion mean NOTHING to you, friend?
We celebrated New Years by sending the older kids to my parents' house and taking the baby to another party. She's pretty much the coolest person I know. Most adults don't stay up until 1 am without crying, but a 3 month old?
10 year reunion. Geeeez. I want to go with you though. Like old times, only with lots of alcohol.

Kara said...

waif - i'm taking your computer away from you.

your liver pays dearly for some youthful magic moments...but rock on completely with some brand new components

thinker - but you're done! yaaaaay!

kansas - things are all off kilter where you're from...aren't they.

or - well don't bother to comment til you're sure!

ax - yeah, thanks for the lack of pressure.

stinkypaw - oh let's hope. LET'S HOPE!

mary - i did the waist-length thing in college. i was too po' for cutting it. i don't think i could pull it off now.

jill - i didn't know dick clark was back in the mix!!! we watched the wrong channel! noooooooo!

emmak - now that's just silly. if you don't stay up...it just stays 2007 forever and ever.

nic - you jumped through so many decades there, i got a little dizzy. but i'm totally following you now. totally.

sarah - it's not shorter. just chunks of it are shorter. think rod stewart meets jareth (bowie).



all - i'll post a picture whenever it gets taken. hold yer socks on and junk.