Monday, August 18, 2008

ChopWatch '08 : Week 2

Week 2 : Splotchy

While we're seeing some good length and some fun variations in color (his hair is brown, but the beard seems to lean toward red, blond and brown), there is a concern that facial hair and head hear may not meet to create the perfect united chop via the traditional sideburn route. But then, it's only week two. We don't rush things here in the land of science. Such a pretty little land.

What I've been enjoying most is the Missus' attempt to cultivate the beard into something he can bear to be seen in public with. The mustache went almost immediately, a move which I fully supported. The overgrowth below the chin and upon the cheek went too, creating what I am calling a "Captain Ahab" effect. He better watch out or his current nickname could morph with very little effort on my part.All in all I'm pleased with his progress. And that he hasn't come at me with a wooden spoon for doing this to him. I think it's his lack of free will that's keeping me alive and bruise-free to blog another day.

In other news, I have none. It was over 100 degrees in Portland over the weekend. I believe I've described once before what happens to Oregonians in heat. We melt into little puddles of whine. Suddenly strolling through the mall sounds like a good way to spend free time. Slurpees become aperitifs. And anyone wearing jeans is placed under citizen's arrest and committed to an institution for the mentally insane. But not the criminally insane. We're not mean people.

14 keep(s) me blogging:

Orhan Kahn said...

You are creating a neck beard. And a neck beard is wrong. And full of AIDS. Handsome young man though.

And leave science out of this, it is an innocent victim to your shennenigans!

AxAtlas said...

Rawk on Missus! Bring it! You da Man!...or Missus!

Stinkypaw said...

Poor Missus, I feel for his lack of hair... Bald spots are hard to deal with, I'm told.

The Future said...

I swear, he has to be saving up to get you back in a really big way. This is exhibitionism at its most blatant only you're exhibiting strictly through projection. I guess that makes you a chop ventriloquist of sorts or something along those lines anyway. This comment is making my head hurt.

Gorilla Bananas said...

He's actually got a great cartoon nose, like Mr Peevly in the 'Hair Bear Bunch'. Anyone remember "Oo, oo, Mr Peevly"? Are you wearing hotpants, Missy?

Sarah said...

Well I must say I'm impressed. He does need to do something about the Ahab look. Not sure what, but something. Maybe it's just his expression.

Wow, that was awkward said...

He looks like an Amish kid hitting puberty.

Mandy said...

You have the wittiest commenters in all of Blogland.

It IS odd how he can grow hair everywhere except the sideburn area. I wonder if it's some sort of genetic defect?

J Shizzle said...

The lack of facial hair is uncanny seeing as the front of his trunk spews forth a brier patch of man mane. It's as if is face was exposed to a nuclear fall-out while his trunk was encased in a miracle-gro like serum. It's as if.

In the name of science, I suggest reversing the aforementioned scenario to see how it plays out. We could be on to something here. That would be the royal we.

Kara said...

or - am not. he's shaved that bit. read my post, lazy ass.

ax - you want to be a contestant of ChopWatch(tm) '09?

stinkypaw - he bears it well...mainly because i feed him candy to keep him happy.

future - your comment made my head hurt too. or maybe that was the movie theater nacho cheese that's still sitting like a rock in my tummy.

goranas - what do hot pants have to do with anything?

sarah - he's good at expressions. you should see him do "mildly surprised". the realism is breathtaking.

wow - yeah, it's bordering on Mose, isn't it. too bad we don't own a beet farm.

mandy - i know, huh. i love them all dearly. i really have no idea what biological aspects map out men's body hair. it's too bad women can't be in charge of such things.

Kara said...

j-shizzle - you'd know all about it, wouldn't you...manscaper.

AxAtlas said...

It depends...what do I get?
You do know that whales have issues growing facial hair right?

Rachel said...

zomg, this is sooo effin exciting, I just might cream! srsly!

I hope you're paying that poor boy with fudge.

Mary Witzl said...

You have a very accommodating housemate.

And it sounds worryingly like California has really infiltrated up there. Be careful with the mall thing or pretty soon you'll find all your forests gone and turned into strip malls. East-coasters will start swarming into Oregon in droves and pretty soon your beaches will be thick with surfers and hedonistic young people in scanty clothing.