Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Blame It On The Rain

Along with age comes single hairs growing out of strange places. At 28 I have three strange hairs. I greatly fear my thirties.

Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, and I'm certain I'm not, but you have to say such things so as not to sound as though you assume you are the leader of all thought - but since I live in a rainy climate I see absolutely NO FUCKING REASON why there exists any Fall/Winter jacket in the marketplace sold without a hood. What's more, if a jacket identifies itself even remotely as something to be worn in foul weather via the label, brand and/or style, the non-inclusion of a hood should result in a return to the manufacturer where they ought to be required by federal law to snap one the fuck on!

And don't even get me started on the weird and pointless world of trench coats. THE most useless invention since the lettuce knife. Supposedly they are made for rain, and yet get so easily soaked through in a heavy downpour. AND NO HOOD. So you're forced to wear a hat or have an umbrella. Well, I lose umbrellas and I don't look good in hats, so that's me being persecuted by the coat industry right there. LAWSUIT.


18 keep(s) me blogging:

Rachel said...

OMG I just LOVE The kitty raincoat.

So shop for a rain coat at the Sports Authority, duh.

oh and I have strange hairs too. I got one on my chin now.

Rachel said...

yay 30!

The Future said...

I like my lettuce knife! It avoids lettuce rust you know.

Orhan Kahn said...

They make knives for lettuce now? Oh shit. I want me one of them!

Gorilla Bananas said...

You've just got to learn not to lose your umbrellas, Missy. If necessary, get a small one which folds into a little 8-inch truncheon which you can attach to your person. Just tape it to your calf, like Dirty Harry did with his flick knife.

Wow, that was awkward said...

You should knock off a grocery store using nothing but a lettuce knife. Wear your playboy bunny ears and steal all the heads of lettuce. Have the b-man film it. I want to see it on you-tube by next week.

twinkie said...

this post has caused me earworm.
"Blame it on the rain that was falling, falling
Blame it on the stars that did shine at night
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah yeah"

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! LOL

yinyang said...

I call animal abuse on that horrible pink thing the dog is wearing.

Sarah said...

I just ran into the same stupid problem a couple days ago. I have like 8 coats and only one of them has a hood. And it's really ugly and from 10 years ago. I solved the problem by just running from building to car and back again. I get more wet I think.

Lettuce knives? Really?

d said...

they should make umbrellas for cookies. because there's nothing worse than a rain-soaked cookie.

wow... that could so be taken the wrong way, if you know what i mean.

stayzuplate said...

when no hood - try a hat!

i guess it really rains a lot up there in Portland, eh?

Kara said...

rachel - i guarantee even they will have raincoats with no hood. the world is unjust.

future - but still.

or - you are becoming the not problem not helping the solution.

goranas - i had one of those more than once. the most recent was left at the train station. i am...an idiot.

wow - ok, but don't expect professional production value.

twinkie - pray tell, what cures earworm?

yinyang - i think it's actually red. does that make it any more humane?

sarah - i see you feel me. we're such soul sisters. if we weren't, you'd have already owned a lettuce knife. oh my god, i'm so sending you one for christmas.

d - do you dip your cookies in milk? (this is a response to the non-dirty aspect of your comment)

stayz - my dear stayz, i've already covered this...i don't look GOOD in hats.

AxAtlas said...

You should wear a balaclava. You would look badass..very Ninja-like. Actually, you and Brandon should wear matching ones and start your own Ninja club. Black or camo colored balaclavas. Uh huh. And then post pictures of you two sporting em'.
B A D A S S!

Mary Witzl said...

My husband would agree with you 100%. He can't use umbrellas and he looks awful in raincoats; things with hoods thrill him no end. I've got a hooded item of clothing, but then I'm really weird -- I like getting rained on. (Easy to say when you don't live in Oregon, but remember -- I once lived in Scotland!)

twinkie said...

Nothing, really. LOL it just goes away on it's own, or another song comes along and replaces it.

Stinkypaw said...

I enjoy hoodies and those rain hat look so ridiculous! I would love me a coat like the kitty has... with some polka-dots rubber boots, of course!

Macoosh said...

i'm baaaaaaack!!!! http://reflectionofadream.blogspot.com/

and I've been meaning to tell you... i LOOOOOOVE REALLY ROSIE and love that you used a song from it as a post title last week.

Kara said...

ax - i have no desire to wear a dessert.

mary - you are an odd one. but i likes ya.

twinkie - it sounds painful and dangerous.

stinkypaw - i imagine you'd be able to totally rock that look, somehow.

macoosh - it's about time. and you're going to kill me when i say i have no idea what post you're talking about because i don't know what Really Rosie is. i'm so very sorry.