Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Play By Play

People are always "blogging live" at events like the National Conventions or the Oscars. I've decided I'm going to "blog live" from my desk...later my couch...and then not at all because I'm going to a show (Electric Six, baby).

I'm excited.

11/4 - 4:44 pm/PT
McCain's won Kentucky (you see, of course, why Brendan left). Obama's taken Vermont. He'll be getting free maple syrup for the rest of his life, I can see it now. All this on the heels of McCain's brush with death and Obama's conspiracy to release the news about his Grandmother to secure sympathy votes.

11/4 - 4:58 pm/PT
South Carolina to McCain. Whatever.

11/4 - 5:47 pm/PT
McCain wins the cotton fields. Obama gets the cotton mills. Agriculture vs. Industrialization...it's like U.S. History all over again. And Geography. And...I suddenly have a hankering for fried foods and clam chowder.

11/4 - 5:50 pm/PT
I live-blogged the above while STANDING. Did you ever HEAR of anyone more hardcore? No.

11/4 - 6:30 pm/PT
There was supposed to be a Stewart/Colbert election special on Comedy Central. It's not on. I'm being forced to watch PBS. Their map graphic is inferior.

11/4 - 6:51 pm/PT
Obama just got Ohio. Do you hear that? It's not even 7:00 PM and Ohio is DECIDED. We have arrived, friends! Also, I just saw a Timberland commercial with the words "everyone dreams of standing on a podium" running across the image. Dumbasses. You don't stand on podiums. You stand at them.

11/4 - 7:01 pm/PT
Ok, the Stewart/Colbert special finally started. I feel better.

11/4 - 7:29 pm/PT
I ate dinner.

11/4 - 8:06 pm/PT
OBAMA WOOOOONNNNNNNNN! And now for celebratory cocktails and make-out sessions.

11/4 - 8:21 pm/PT
McCain's concession speech is probably the most eloquent one he's given yet. Kudos to the person who wrote it, as it was most assuredly not him. Cindy looks like she's been vomited on. They really should've shared some of Palin's wardrobe budget with her. I know that's mean, but it's her own fault she dresses like a tranny with a Jackie O complex.

11/4 - 9:31 pm/PT
Beautiful speech by PRESIDENT ELECT Barack Obama. And Michelle...remarkably UNtranny. That woman has style. This from the girl on her couch wearing a used Johnny Cash t-shirt covered in paint splatters and thrift store jeans. Whatevs.

And with that...I'm going out. You've been a beautiful audience.

11/5 - 1:11 am/PT
The show was rad. I shook my money maker. If you've never heard of the band Electric Six, I suggest you do some youtube-ing. Come on, the election's over, it's not like you've got anything better to do. Ok, maybe I'm a little drunk. I thought shaking my money maker would help that. Apparently not.

I also re-read the play by play and it was less than enthralling. Oh well. I'll make you like me for other reasons.

19 keep(s) me blogging:

Robert the Skeptic said...

Our exit pollsters outside Wal-Mart are calling it for McCain. And you can get white tube socks for just $1.59.

Andrew said...

Fox News is bummed like they've never been bummed before.

theWaif said...

I dearly hope this ruins Palin's career forever and ever. Tina Fey: go ahead and burn that costume.

Robert the Skeptic said...

Ok.. well, so Palin's wardrobe has to be returned to Wal-Mart, but Todd gets to keep the tube socks. Everyone wins!

Sarah said...

I like it. I do have to disagree on two points. And they are very important points.
1. Michelle Obama's dress was horrible. She looked like an 8 month preggo (from the front) ladybug.
I guess I didn't have another point to argue.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I hear that President-Elect OB1 is promising to take you folks on a long road. Better bring your car-sickness pills, Missy. Let's hope he knows the way to Oz.

Woozie said...


I wish we could have watched the coverage on Fox News to watch Ann Coulter baww.

Orhan Kahn said...

You don't need to do much to excite me..and I'm certainly not counting out racy pictures. Hint fucking hint!


(and yes this comment had full relevance to your post; think about it!)

d said...

aww timberland - SNAP... idiots.

i've never had presidential celebratory make out sessions before. then again, we don't elect presidents up here. just douchebags.

Wow, that was awkward said...

The play by play was worth it for the entry of 11/4 - 8:21 pm/PT. Truly LMAO

Orhan Kahn said...

Oh, wow. Looking back on my comments; how rude! I should be ashamed of myself. Although I'm not I know now that I should be and thats all that matters :)

We cool? Yeah, we cool.

Phew! Close call. Business as usual.

Rachel said...

Hi its me!

I dont care what the Waif says, I think Michelle Obama is totally awesome, even if her choice in clothes is less than perfect. I have a total non-lesbo girl-crush on the FUTURE first lady.

theWaif said...

Excusez-moi, I've not said anything with regards to Michelle Obama or any of her garments, thank you muchly. I quite have a non-lesbo girl-crush on her as well. So please recant your accusatory accusations, if you will be so kind.

Sarah said...

And I have no problem with Michelle either. She's a beautiful strong woman. That said, her dress on election night was horrid.
Mix up is now un mixed up. Sorry Laura.

Kara said...

sarah - i think you just made my sister come out.

The Future said...

I must be in a hipster funk. What do you mean by "tranny"? And you could give CNN or Stewart/Colbert or any other political pundits a run for their collective money with your play-by-play. I'd take yours over John Madden's any day or night. Well, I guess that's not very high praise now that I think about it.

And I've finally posted if you want to read my most recent gut spilling.

theWaif said...

Sarah - thanks for that, m'dear!

theWaif said...

Oh, and future - "tranny" refers to "trans-sexual" or "trans-gender". Think RuPaul.

Mary Witzl said...

You did all my angsting for me (if that isn't a verb, it ought to be). We slept right through all of this as we had to stay up late to wait for a delivery of water and, as yet, have no television or radio. Talk about primitive. But we now have water!

And who cares about water or t.v. when we've got Obama for president?

I'm such a frump. I thought Michelle Obama's dress was great.