Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Money For Nothing, And the Chicks for Free

Ok, this year sucks. First, Paul Newman dies, and that sucks because it's like a generation of hotness completely and totally EXPIRES. And what do we have to replace this hotness? Fucking dumbshits like Orlando Bloom and whatnot? No. THEN, I gain 5 pounds, which is not ok...and I don't agree with how much starch in ingest. And then I go and lose my FUCKING cell phone this morning. What an asshole. The cell phone, not me. I've had it for a number of months, maybe years, either way, I'm naked.

I fought against the cell phone thing. But I got stranded by my old car in sketchy parts of New Orleans once too many time and my parents were all "you're getting one". So that was that. It's been my adopted baby ever since. First Nokia, then Sony and then LG...and It's horrible. Everyone says I sound like a robot.

Do you detect some vodka in this post? Yeah, I do too.

Anyway, this week the prego Waif and Ty took away their pretty 42" television that we've be TV-sitting for them since May. Originally I was supposed to keep it for two months or so but the remodelling of their GIANT new house took 6 months. So we became very attached to their TV and corresponding entertainment unit.

When they took it away this is what we were left with.

No offense to Andrew and Tracy who provided us with the lovely (FREE) television that you see above but it just wasn't the same. The Xbox wouldn't play any movies and the TV was perched very precariously on the 1940s radio console. And the sound didn't actually work. It was a bad situation. No one was happy.

So Brendan made the very difficult decision to not go to Australia for the the writer's workshop he was accepted to. Though prestigious, the entire program would have cost him a mint and he eventually decided to put going off for a while until he could afford it (you know...the economy and shit), but immediately after making this decision, he caught Flat Screen Fever. This lasted about a week. Then Monday came and the above turned into this:

What you see there is a BIG FUCKING TV. That bitch is 47 inches. No one needs a TV that large. And yet, we have one. I feel as though I should rent Lawrence of Arabia just to do it justice. I've never actually seen Lawrence of Arabia? Did I mention I was a film student back in the day? I know...funny.

What was I talking about?

Oh yes. We have a giant TV. Who says there's a recession on?

18 keep(s) me blogging:

Orhan Kahn said...

Recession is for the middle class. We are the Shades of Awesome class. And you know we put the aw in awesome.


Gorilla Bananas said...

You've never seen Lawrence of Arabia? My mother mated with a scorpion! It's quite possible you could get turned on by Peter O'Toole in Arab robes,

d said...

oooh, very nice.

now where's that picture of you at a trailblazer's game you promised me two years ago?

nato said...

big tv's make the world go around....

Stinkypaw said...

My husband negotiated hard to get one of those bitches, but had to "settle" for a 32 inches... and he complains about it every chance he gets! Cry baby!

Hope you'll enjoy that big Bertha on this fine Thanksgiving weekend!

Maybe you'll hit a sale for a new cell phone. Good luck!

Robert the Skeptic said...

1. Barak Obama's economic team just called to thank you for keeping the economy [OF CHINA] going by your purchasing consumer electronics which haven't been made in the USA since 1988. He asks that you now do your patriotic bit and buy a Chevy.

2. "Laurence of Arabia" is one of the top 10 classics you should see (I know, I know.. you have long since lost trust my judgment) but seriously, it has truly earned the term "epic". Que it up... and be sure to drink lots of fluids.

3. I gained 7 pounds and my doctor omniously hinted that it will likely hasten my death. Right - I just remember my obese cardiologist and reassure myself I didn't want to die in a nursing home anyway. Don't sweat the extra pounds. You get a few with every decade.

Orhan Kahn said...

Barak Obama's economic team just called to thank you for keeping the economy [OF CHINA] going by your purchasing consumer electronics..

LG televisions aren't made in China.

Robert the Skeptic said...

LG televisions aren't made in China.

Oh, Right.. Korea, America's 51st state. I got LG mixed up with the country that makes the baby formula with the pesticide additive. My mistake.

The Future said...

I've tried to watch "Lawrence of Arabia" twice and both times I ended up finding something better to's way too long, drawn out and deserty. But you know, watching Peter O.'s azure eyes on your tv may make all the difference, it certainly did for "Home for the Holidays", but then I've never walked away from that. Jodie Foster rocks.

yinyang said...

Only 47? My friend's parents have a wide-screen that's 52 inches. Now that TV is big!

Susie Q said...

Nice boob tube

Cathy said...

What IS it with boys and their giant TVs? I've been vetoing the massive flatscreen for a while here...but I can feel my power slowly slipping.

Mary Witzl said...

This is eerie: I have two colleagues who would sympathize with you! Last week, one of the other teachers was watching her t.v. when it suddenly imploded, then burst into flames which then took out most of her sitting room. She now has a monster similar to your 47-incher.Then two days ago, another teacher lost his cell phone, a model so old he claims he had to start it by pedaling.

Weird, eh?

Wow, that was awkward said...

I have that same chord organizing system as in your first picture.

Stinkypaw said...

Since I don't have your email, I'll use this: There's a little something awaiting you on my blog, check it out when you'll get a chance!

AxAtlas said...

Is that a macbook in your first pic? I thought you hate macs.
If that big TV is a LCD TV, don't forget their average lifespan is 60,000 hours or 7 years of hardcore tv watching...but really just make sure your backlight source is good and easily replaceable.
And about the economy, I suggest that you read "A Short History of Financial Euphoria" from JK Galbraith (one of my fav economists).

Rachel said...

so...since you have a big fucking tv, does that mean you're now going to buy an iPhone?

Kara said...

or - do i know that? do i?

goranas - you know, he's never done it for me. something about the way he talks, like he has to talk around his face to get the words out.

d - i posted them two years ago. and you saw them. use the search box, boyo.

nato - and so do pirates.

stinkypaw - i have to say, 32 inches seems a little small to my snobby ass.

future - i'm surprised. it seems like your cuppa.

yinyang - anything over 50 is just excessive. that's what i've decided.

sue - word.

cathy - go ahead and give won't be sorry. just don't let him try and make you play video games.

mary - those people are living my life. what gives.

wow - yes, i believe that system is called the "what the".

stinkypaw - oh my

rachel - you hush your dirty mouth. no iphones in this house. what am i? a slut?