Monday, May 04, 2009

I Want This Picture In My Passport

This is me when I got home from work today. Perhaps the dark colors mask it, or maybe I just wear 'drowned rat' exceedingly well...but if you look closely, you can see what happens when you scoot home from work as your city tries to drown you. If you're really clever and somewhat anal, perhaps you'll notice that there are rainboots by the door there. With cherries on them. I didn't wear them on my scoot. Instead I wore leather heels. That old joke regarding God and his handing out of brains suddenly comes to mind.

Or maybe it was St. Peter. Does St. Peter allocate brains? Or just entrance into the gates of heaven? I can't keep my Christian story times straight.

Now I'm all changed into stretchy things and my shit's drying by the fire and I get to watch the sky flood from the safety of my wine glass. And the house smells like stew. Life could be worse, I'm telling you.

I'm here to do a rare music review. If Devon still reads this thing, I expect him to choke on his beer at the following.

I can't stop listening to Bon Iver.

Normally I hate this sensitive indie bullshit. It's a well known fact. Anyone mentions the name Death Crap for Cutie and they're in for a tirade. And don't even get me started on Iron and Wine. If you're ONE dude with no band, you're just Iron. You're NOT Iron AND Wine.

I've made a few exceptions before now, namely Pinback and Grizzly Bear, but have mainly stuck to my guns. Until now. I can't stop listening to this album. I couldn't even tell you what it's called, but thanks to iPods, I don't have to know. It really is hypnotic. But you can put it on in the background of just about any event. Or...just sit staring at the wall, fully absorbing it. So versatile! This music is the black pencil skirt of sensitive indie rock.

Looking at the above, I really don't understand why no one pays me to write music reviews. Where the fuck are you, Rolling Stone?! My talent is wasting away over here!

And everybody say happy b-day to Brendan who is now the age I was way back in February. I wonder if he'll ever catch up.

I'm off to find a bible to look up whether or not rain is considered a plague.

15 keep(s) me blogging:

The Future said...

When I first saw you I thought you were Stick from "Top Gear". He's the mystery person behind the racing helmet. I love that show. Did I tell you they had a 3-man race from France to Blackpool a couple of weeks back on one tank of gas? The weather wasn't any better in Blackpool for them than it was the night we were there.

Robert the Skeptic said...

I TOLD you that you looked like a Power Ranger" in that get-up!! At least the Rangers are cool!

Shit, I look like Dr. Zaius if I don't regularly use "Just For Men" on my beard.

Gorilla Bananas said...

You look like Robocop's fluff girl.

erin said...

Max (the pooping in the pants one) hates hates hates the rain. Like freaks out like the Wicked Witch hates the rain. She's hated it ever since she was a baby and when it rains she looks out the window like Damian looks at the Baboons (or the church, you pick) on The Omen...
Side note: I do keep the store 'well stocked' in the winter, but there's hardly anything in there right now...sucky kids stuff...I do custom orders outside of etsy mainly. But don't tell the powers that be that, I might be banned for life ;)

Wow, that was awkward said...

You look like a poor man's storm trooper.

Rachel said...

that picture scares the fucking crap out of me.

Stinkypaw said...

You look like a Wet Power Ranger! I must say I love the way you pose! ;-)

nz-ajb said...

I've been listening to Bon Iver lately too, and agree with you on the 'Iron and Wine' thing mostly.

theWaif said...

Mom, you crack me up. It's the Stig, not the Stick.

That's exactly what I was going to comment, though, only she looks more like his evil twin.

Joyless Prole said...

You look like you're about to pull out your raygun and start blasting.

kara said...

future - i was going for a Stig look. he's my hero.

dad - dr. zaius is WAY cooler than a power ranger.

goranas - i didn't realize such a thing existed in the imaginarium.

erin - funny you should bring up the omen...it's what i blamed the rain storm on.

wow - i needed some butt pads like in spaceballs.

rachel - aw come on, really?

stinkypaw - that was all natural, lady. i just came in the door and "snap"

ajb - the dude's actually more like wine than iron. iron would require an electric guitar, methinks. in fact, he's barely wine. more like an arbor mist.

waif - the Unstig

joyless - if only...if only.

The Future said...

Well, I prefer to call him Stick because what's a Stig after all?

Mary Witzl said...

I love the fact that that's really you in the picture. I swear, I thought you'd taken this picture from one of those alien movie sites!

I wish someone would pay me to do musical reviews of hot new Asian bands. I'd love presenting it from a parent's point of view. Plus, I'd get a lot more cred from my kids.

Orhan Kahn said...

You make having brains seem like there is effort involved. Will you ever learn?

Oh, I see what I did there. Did you?

Sarah said...

Josh was looking over my shoulder while I was reading this and said, "who is that?" I said, "Kara". He said, "yeah, but who's that in the picture."
Geez....