Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Dreams Are So Hot Right Now


Ahhh, Zoolander.

Everyone's been talking about dreams weird they've been...what they mean, etc.

Yesterday I got this phone call from Kansas:

Kansas: I had a horrible nightmare last night
Me: Oh no...what about?
Kansas: Well, it's going to seem funny now, but it was really upsetting at the time.
Me: okaaaay....?
Kansas: It was my birthday and you were gone all day hanging out with other people. And when you got home, we fought about it and you didn't seem to care how hurt I was.
Me: Awwww, honey...
Kansas: So I got really angry and hit you across the face...with cornbread...and it somehow got stuck to your eyes...
Me: ...
Kansas: And I called you a " dirty cornbread eye havin' bitch".
Me: ... ... ...I think we just found my petname.

True story.

15 keep(s) me blogging:

Jill said...

That is so weird that I can't even come up with a smartass quip.

No wait: I guess cornbread in the eye is better than a sharp stick in the eye.


Jen said...

This really is priceless... I like Kansas more and more.

Kara said...

jill - hey, i applaud the effort. and i applaud my own effort at the graphics. i had to publish this stupid post, like, 15 times to make that arrow do what i wanted it to. stupid arrow.

jen - you'll like him until you get slapped with cornbread, you mean.

Macoosh said...

for a very very short second i was like, "oh my god, he dreams he slaps you? run away run away!" and then i read the rest and laughed so hard that the pasta that was in my mouth is now on my lap.

thanks. thanks a lot.

Kara said...

macoosh - well i'm just sorry. i hope you weren't wearing white pants. i hope the it wasn't a tomato-based sauce. and i really do hope you weren't wearing white pants. no one should wear white pants.

tiny sneezer - i know you have neither commented, nor read this post yet...but Ross Dress For Less cut off our phone convo and i don't know if the text message sent. but i remembered what i wanted to tell you...yesterday i decided it was Talk Like Sean Connery was hilarious, you would've loved it.

Orhan Kahn said...

Oh, my.

I don't know where to begin :|

Laura said...

Don't you get me started on seriously messed up dreams. What's the maximum word count on these comment thingys? Cause I'm sure I could reach it by retelling even just the most bizarre ones I had while prego. The lastest really weird dream I had that I remember was about a house that we had to buy and move into right away for some reason without any of our stuff. It was part Queen Anne and part Jetsons-space-age-mod but there was wood paneling everywhere and it was in awful shape. And it was right on the coast at the top of a hill (my brain is still trying to reconcile that one). I'm sure I've had weirder ones recently but I just can't remember much of them right now. Cornbread in your eye is good though.

Kara said...

orhan - you just gotta roll with it, Or. and i believe i've just given you the best nickname ever.

waif - that's your nickname. i'm on a roll

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

It obviously all goes back to a violent and troubled kernelhood. Tell me, has Kansas got issues with delicious buttery popped snacks too? How is his relationship with his cob? Does he worry she loves her other kernels more?

(I'm charging for this by the way) Can Kansas walk the length of the cereal aisle in the store without flinching?

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Your eye is lovely, by the way. I wish I had one like that. Two, maybe.

thethinker said...

Let's hope this doesn't turn into an abusive relationship.

AxAtlas said...

I'd totally interpret this dream but it's too early. All I can say is that there are no red good color blue?
Yo Kansas! Way to represent em' midwest manners n' roots yo! Yeah. Still early.
Your new pet name is like a Guided By Voices song title

Kara said...

sam - wouldn't it be just fitting if kansas had a corn issue? i mean...that's all they HAVE in that state is fields of corn. the children there are of the corn. so it stands to reason they'd have issues. and be ridiculously blond.

oh...and that's not my eye. that's google/images' eye. my eye is much less red. but in college, i was so poor that i sold my cornea to buy ramen but they said it was dirty and made me take it i ended up having to return the ramen.

thinker - ha! if it does, it'll probably be me with the anger management issue. i can get a little flaily with the remote sometimes...and accidents happen.

ax - don't encourage him!

Laura said...

elf - shut it.

ax - good colored flags are black & white checkered.

Macoosh said...

no to the white pants (ew) and yes to the tomato-based sauce. luckily it was my good ole' boston red sox pj bottoms; those have seen better days. so tomato-based sauce=no big deal.

it was worth the laugh. and the realization that i just drooled pasta.