------------->
Ahhh, Zoolander.
Everyone's been talking about dreams lately...how weird they've been...what they mean, etc.
Yesterday I got this phone call from Kansas:
Kansas: I had a horrible nightmare last night
Me: Oh no...what about?
Kansas: Well, it's going to seem funny now, but it was really upsetting at the time.
Me: okaaaay....?
Kansas: It was my birthday and you were gone all day hanging out with other people. And when you got home, we fought about it and you didn't seem to care how hurt I was.
Me: Awwww, honey...
Kansas: So I got really angry and hit you across the face...with cornbread...and it somehow got stuck to your eyes...
Me: ...
Kansas: And I called you a " dirty cornbread eye havin' bitch".
Me: ... ... ...I think we just found my petname.
True story.
15 keep(s) me blogging:
That is so weird that I can't even come up with a smartass quip.
No wait: I guess cornbread in the eye is better than a sharp stick in the eye.
Eh?
This really is priceless... I like Kansas more and more.
jill - hey, i applaud the effort. and i applaud my own effort at the graphics. i had to publish this stupid post, like, 15 times to make that arrow do what i wanted it to. stupid arrow.
jen - you'll like him until you get slapped with cornbread, you mean.
for a very very short second i was like, "oh my god, he dreams he slaps you? run away run away!" and then i read the rest and laughed so hard that the pasta that was in my mouth is now on my lap.
thanks. thanks a lot.
macoosh - well i'm just sorry. i hope you weren't wearing white pants. i hope the it wasn't a tomato-based sauce. and i really do hope you weren't wearing white pants. no one should wear white pants.
tiny sneezer - i know you have neither commented, nor read this post yet...but Ross Dress For Less cut off our phone convo and i don't know if the text message sent. but i remembered what i wanted to tell you...yesterday i decided it was Talk Like Sean Connery Day...it was hilarious, you would've loved it.
Oh, my.
I don't know where to begin :|
Don't you get me started on seriously messed up dreams. What's the maximum word count on these comment thingys? Cause I'm sure I could reach it by retelling even just the most bizarre ones I had while prego. The lastest really weird dream I had that I remember was about a house that we had to buy and move into right away for some reason without any of our stuff. It was part Queen Anne and part Jetsons-space-age-mod but there was wood paneling everywhere and it was in awful shape. And it was right on the coast at the top of a hill (my brain is still trying to reconcile that one). I'm sure I've had weirder ones recently but I just can't remember much of them right now. Cornbread in your eye is good though.
orhan - you just gotta roll with it, Or. and i believe i've just given you the best nickname ever.
waif - that's your nickname. i'm on a roll
It obviously all goes back to a violent and troubled kernelhood. Tell me, has Kansas got issues with delicious buttery popped snacks too? How is his relationship with his cob? Does he worry she loves her other kernels more?
(I'm charging for this by the way) Can Kansas walk the length of the cereal aisle in the store without flinching?
Your eye is lovely, by the way. I wish I had one like that. Two, maybe.
Let's hope this doesn't turn into an abusive relationship.
I'd totally interpret this dream but it's too early. All I can say is that there are no red flags...um good color flags...green? blue?
Yo Kansas! Way to represent em' midwest manners n' roots yo! Yeah. Still early.
Your new pet name is like a Guided By Voices song title
sam - wouldn't it be just fitting if kansas had a corn issue? i mean...that's all they HAVE in that state is fields of corn. the children there are of the corn. so it stands to reason they'd have issues. and be ridiculously blond.
oh...and that's not my eye. that's google/images' eye. my eye is much less red. but in college, i was so poor that i sold my cornea to buy ramen but they said it was dirty and made me take it back...so i ended up having to return the ramen.
thinker - ha! if it does, it'll probably be me with the anger management issue. i can get a little flaily with the remote sometimes...and accidents happen.
ax - don't encourage him!
elf - shut it.
ax - good colored flags are black & white checkered.
no to the white pants (ew) and yes to the tomato-based sauce. luckily it was my good ole' boston red sox pj bottoms; those have seen better days. so tomato-based sauce=no big deal.
it was worth the laugh. and the realization that i just drooled pasta.
Post a Comment