Thursday, August 09, 2007

Forsooth.


**Announcement**

I will now refer to 'you' as 'ye' all Old English-style and shit.

My reasons are twofold:


1. The 'o' key on my new laptop keyboard does not function properly. For each word including an 'o' I have to punch the actual key approximately 3 times before the letter appears. This irritates me.


2. It's funner.


(Any mentions of the fact that this post is filled with other words beginning with 'o' will be actively and melodramatically ignored.)

21 keep(s) me blogging:

AxAtlas said...

So instead of Google what search engine are you gonna start using?

Gorilla Bananas said...

God (who is a blonde woman like you) speaks in Old English. Here is a quote from the playwright Marlowe:

"Accursed hypocrites! Thinkest that ye shall be received unto My Kingdom in open arms when ye have spoken against my sisters for no better reason than they bared their titties to make an honest living? Woe to ye and begone to the hot place where the cloven-hoofed beast shall bathe ye in the Jacuzzi of bubbling lead and service ye with the dildo of red hot iron."

Question for day: who was God speaking to?

Kevin said...

Who would ever speak out against a woman for baring her titties? Certainly not I.

Laura said...

SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--

MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.

SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'

Amen.

Rachel said...

I feel like I have to de-lurk here. I have to say, have you all been reading David Eddings? He uses this middle english stuff all the time.

Its fun, I admit, but a little creepy.

*crawls back under her lurking rock*

Anonymous said...

Woe is thou whose 'o' button non-funtionith.

slaghammer said...

Hey! This post is filled with other words beginning with “o”. By my calculations, in order to get those twenty-six “o’s” typed out, you had to hit the “o” key seventy-eight times. You are abusing your “o” privilege. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t work anymore.

Niall said...

Yeah yeah. I was recently posting something somewhere, can't remember where, but I referred to "you" (as in the phural for the third party singular), as "ye", which I do all the time (my 'o' key works just fine, seee: oooooooooooooo), and they laughed at me.

If it takes three strikes to hit maybe copy it into the clipboard and press Ctrl+v and you save yourself one keystroke per o. Of course this gets complicated when it's a capital letter ... but no words really start with 'o' anyways, do they?

Jill said...

I didn't know the English drank malt liquor. That's what I love about this blog. I always learn something new.

If you get tired of "ye" you could always get all Quaker-y and go with "thee" and "thou." Oh wait, I guess the "thou" has an "o" in it too though, so that sorta defeats the purpose. Just use "thee" then. (Is there a limit on how many quotes you can use in one comment?)

Niall said...

Your solution for "you" - y'all and Y'all.

Kara said...

ax - i haven't decided yet. there are just so many options.

goranas - so god is a dirty blond then? nice.

answer: puritans

kevbo - then ye are NOT a puritan.

waif - ahhh...and there was much rejoycing.

slag - oh. my. GAWD! (followed by a snort with a very upturned nose)

niall - ye are out of control with all yer crazy suggestions. and i think using the word "y'all" is a character flaw.

jill - nah, the english just invented it. they've moved on from it. we brought it over in the mayflower and haven't been able to get off the juice since.

and no...there is no limit.

Kara said...

oh my hell, i missed rachel and anonymous!

rachel - lurking under rocks is what gets you skipped! no more lurking! i don't know whom david eddings is, but i'll check him out.

anonymous - woe indeed. alas, alack. i had to eat a doughnut just to make the pain go away.

Susie Q said...

Sorry about your defective "O"... (hee, hee)

froelica said...

Hey, what about the fact that this post is filled with other words beginning with 'o'?

*dodges punch*

Sarah said...

My "m" is like your "o". It takes some loving to make it work.

Sarah said...

Oh, and you said "funner". Huh huh.

nic said...

I want a holy hand grenade. (That's my favoritest sketch ever.) I'd lobbest my holy hand grenade at your letter "o" and maybe it would change its mind about being a turd.

One, Two, FIVE!
Three, sir!
THREE!

KaBLAMM!

The Future said...

Methinks this blog is your version of "Becoming Jane", you (or wait, "ye") can't fool me. You used the beer can to throw your readers off the scent so they wouldn't know you actually attended the film and it's obviously had a lasting affect on you.

Macoosh said...

i hate when i have to keep pushing the button to get my "o" to work.

....ewwwwwwww.....

at any rate, because you so gracefully gave me cookies in my cookie-famine, i give you some o's during your o-crisis....

o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o. o.

let me know when you run out.

Emily said...

see that's what's good about just borring a lap top from your husbands work.... if something isn't working perfectly I send it back to work with him and have him get me a new one....

Niall said...

Or you could copy both o and O in your clipboard and paste it and delete the unnecessary one. I should be hired for giving smart ideas, shoulnd't I?

How's about we all start a "Buy Kara a new keyboard fund"?