Monday, August 27, 2007

Goddamnit, I Just Got A Mosquito Bite

Can someone please explain to me why or how anyone could think that cinnamon would be a tasty saltwater taffy flavor? Seriously...tastes like shit. Burny shit. Or...something.

Last week was the last home game for the Timbers (at least until playoffs) and guess who was there with 15,000 other folks. If you guessed me, you'd be right and I'd call you special. The Portland Timbers is...are...our soccer team ('football' for you foreigners, of course). I enjoy going. Actually, let me rephrase that...I enjoy getting sloshed and going. There's a section of the stadium, section 107 where everyone gets crazy and angry and yells out awful words like "you cunts!" when they would never otherwise utter them in polite society. It's glorious. I've been going off and on for a couple of years. I'm not much of a sports person. You all know how I feel about physical activity. But I dig these games. I dig any live sport where a fight might break out at any moment. I mean...shirts could come off...ANYTHING could happen. Glorious.

It also helps that soccer is, itself, an interesting sport. Watching any team event on television often inspires the desire to commit self-lobotomization, but live...soccer kicks ass. I mean, I can barely catch a ball with two good hands...you start throwing my feet into the picture...I'm gonna start breaking shit. Like bones and whatnot. So I have a healthy respect for what these men do. And the respect grows with each beer I drink and each box of Cracker Jacks that I consume.

Here's a few pictures. I have more, but I took them with my phone and the quality is less than Kodak, you know? So this is what you get.

Packed house
This is after we scored our one and only goal (the other team didn't score any...suckers). I do believe this is a giant flag going over our head. It was later followed by a crowd surfer. Two, in fact. Marie and I let them know that we did not approve. We've already been to high school, after all. Miscreants.
Just after the goal. Smoke bombs. Screaming. Dudes in kilts. Bouncing. You get the idea.
All in all. Fun. It was fun. The world is not my favorite place at the moment so it was nice to have fun. Summer is almost gone and I feel as though I let it go without telling it how I feel. Sometimes it's really hard to share your feelings, you know? Such a fear of rejection. It can be stifling.

Anyway...the waif, ty and beck are off to Italy for two and a half weeks...the bastards. I have to Quimby-sit. Well...house and Quimby-sit. The things I do for people, honestly. I'm practically a saint. That swears. And drinks. And has premarital sex. And is an atheist. So...yeah.

In honor of their departure...here is this month's signature exploitation of the cuteness that is my nephew.


BOW TO THE CUTENESS!

12 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Cinnamon is an acquired taste like almonds, but football is the world's favourite sport. Get a plastic ball and try kicking it around - it won't hurt and you'll enjoy it. It sounds like your Portland fans are fast learners. The next stage is that some Irish guy will slyly pinch your boob in the celebrations after a goal.

Sarah said...

Haven't been to a Timbers game. Your description of it reminds me of our high school obsession with The Winterhawks. Only drunker. Jason Weimer!!!
Becks is too cute.

AxAtlas said...

Lawrence Olum is from St. Louis. He's your midfielder. GO LARRY!!!

Soccer is sooo fun to watch live. We too always got rowdy watching our college team compete. For instance, one of my fraternity bros attended a game with his school books. He would yell and get all crazy and then would abruptly return to studying for his midterm. He got so obnoxious that he was ejected out of the game by the referees. Security escorted him out while he was reading one of his books. We all yelled to him "Good luck on your midterm!!!" and "Ace that mutha fuckin' midterm bro!!!". The opposing team's fans even took a likin' to him.

Anonymous said...

Olum's been a real treat to watch this season. I'm still hoarse from this game. Here's the highlights from the game, goal's at around 2.20 mark, and is a thing of beauty.
http://www.portlandtimbers.com/insider/videonews/index.html?c=7&id=194&t=0

AxAtlas said...

Anon – thanks for that clip. Olum looked SICK on the field even though he didn't score but that one goal from that defender was JUST PURE NASTY!
What kind of name is “Battery” for a soccer team??? Isn’t that a tad bit weak? I'm sure "Battery Leak" and "Battery Acid" were also one of their choices.

Kara said...

goranas - i DO like cinnamon...i just don't believe that it belongs in taffy form. neither does banana, coconut, or peppermint.

sarah - it is alot of that same bloodlust...only the players aren't jailbait. the games are a blast. and the kids would luuurv them.

ax - that's a nice story.

anonymous - whether you're Ralph or just some Timbers fan who happened on this blog...i will have to agree...a thing of beauty indeed.

ax - it could mean they're a bunch of hired heavies.

Macoosh said...

that is the best photo of a child ever.






....ever.

Rachel said...

That's a cute kid, alright. Of course out of loyalty to my own nephews, I must say, not quite as cute as mine...*wink* but he definitely got adorable down pat!

I admire saints who live life like life is meant to be lived. I'll drink some booze in your honor tonight.

nic said...

1. Soccer is the best sport in the world. I personally love it and worship the sexy thighs of all that play it.

2. Yeah, all saltwater taffy should be sweet stuff. Cinnemon is not what I'd consider sweet. Who came up with that crap?

3. That's an angry faced Quimby. But his adorable name makes up for it.

4. I'm using the short's computer (with a superlame windows OS) and its o does not always work. We have something in common.

5. WTH happened to summer?! Thanks for reminding me I have to go have a few last kicks before my impending classroom possible doom.

Joy!

Susie Q said...

Becks is a cute little bugger indeed!

Kevin said...

What I want to know is why cinnamon is synonymous with SPICY HOT.

The spice isn't spicy hot. The rolls from Cinnabon aren't spicy hot. The sticks aren't spicy hot. But Big Red gum is. And so are Atomic Fireballs.

If I saw cinnamon taffy, I'd be afraid. In fact, I'd cry.

The Future said...

You haven't heard anything from them yet have you?