Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Eff YOU, Teeth.


As of today, I have spent $1,500 on my teeth this year.

Goddamn modern dentistry.


Goddamn lack of insurance.


Goddamn lack of universal healthcare.


I mean...shit...they're not even my best feature.


Me and my frozen face are going to sit here and brood for a while before beginning to contemplate how I'm going to drink my tea with a straw.


Ramen for lunch yesterday...Spaghettios today.

I's offically po'.

13 keep(s) me blogging:

Jen said...

Let me just say that I was drinking tea when I read this and was close to spewing. Your poor numb face, I've seen it. But revel in the fact that I am heading to the dentist later today for mega-dentistry replete with a crown. Yay teeth!

Jill said...

I suppose it will be store-brand macaroni and cheese tomorrow? Splurge for the Kraft brand on your birthday.

P.S. I feel for you. I spent $2300 for two new front teeth last month. How can somthing so little cost so much?

Rachel said...

Ugh. I don't have dental coverage, either. I need a prophylaxis so bad. Its been three years, and I'm starting to get some halitosis...

Chocolate pudding might make you feel better?

AxAtlas said...

Get weller!!!!

phosgraphis said...

Tea through a straw isn't TOO bad. You could be eating food through a straw.

And I learned how to make crack cocaine in my drugs and crime class, which I think the point of is to learn how to prevent drug abuse?

College makes loads of sense.

Kara said...

jen - all things are better when we go through them together.

jill - prolly kraft easy mac...but no annie's organic. too rich for my blood. and oh my god, what happened to your two front teeth?

rachel - go before it's too late. and by too late, i mean reeeeealy reeeealy expensive. and chocolate pudding would make it better if it came with liquor.

ax - i willer

phosgraphis - tea through a straw is only tough because it's hot and it burns my tender cheeks. they may be numb but they know heat. the yogurt was with a spoon, however. and there was some drooling.

Emily said...

You know what's worse - I have insurance and haven't been to the dentist for like 3 years - there is no excuse.... I'm just lame! Now I should call the dentist schedule an appointment and be on with my day - but I bet you anything by the time I'm done writing this I will have forgotten that I had even said that - my brain is a little fried lately.

Kara said...

em - you need to get off your feet right now. the dentist can wait til you feel better. and eat some cake, damnit!

C said...

I can tell you from experience that eggs and grits make many good meals when one is po'. I'm sorry to hear about your tender burnt cheeks and the load of cash that went into fixing your teeth and numbing your face. Maybe you should drink sweet tea for a while (or iced tea as it is know in parts outside of the South). Or better yet, you could drink Long Island Iced Tea's until you feel better.

The Future said...

I am sorry about your po' teeth but imagine the cost if they had looked like the Smilodon's!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Shit! I never noticed your teeth before but now I want to see them. Preferably biting an apple or something.

Sarah said...

A couple years ago, I had a bunch of cavities filled. My cheeks were completely numb, but I didn't really pay too much attention to it. I ate something and chewed through my cheek. I mean really chewed through it. I had the biggest honkin' canker sores I've ever had. Moral of this story: don't eat.

Orhan Kahn said...

You know, everything I have to say about this post is downright cruel, so let me just say whatever you're pissing away your money on is working because you look cute as a button. One of those cute buttons that always falls off, where you spend half an afternoon sowing it back on.. fucking buttons, I hate buttons.