Friday, September 14, 2007

I'd Rather Eat A Brussel Sprout

So, anyone else find it disturbing that the “president” of Russia just completely dissolved his government on a whim? Yeah, me neither.

Has you heard of Daily Candy? It’s a daily (obviously) email that promotes something “cool” like a designer, an author, a restaurant, a site, etc. I get them for gift ideas, mainly…but every once in a while, something appears in my inbox that not only forces me to question not only the validity of these people’s opinions…but the very point of man’s existence at all. Today…in my inbox...my Daily Candy consisted of this tragedy.

You can imagine what manner of existential questioning erupted from such an assault on my corneas. The first of which was “What the FUCK is that?”

The answer, my friends, is…it’s a pantsuit. A horrible, horrible pantsuit. Apparently because it is French…it is has left the sphere of classic pumpkin Halloween costume and journeyed into the land of the “couture”…also a French word (I believe). I, for one, am somehow unable to lower my standards for fashion in this instance. I’m sorry. I just can’t do it. My rule since the age of pre-teen has been NO UNISUITS OF ANY KIND…and for the most part, despite the one slip up in college involving a pair of train engineer over sized overalls, I have kept that belief steadfastly in place. Slapping a French name and calling it couture isn’t going to change that. And charging over $400 for it (true story), certainly isn’t going to change that either. I don’t care how comfortable it is. Nor do I care if it extinguishes the problem of attempting to match tops to bottoms in the wee hours of the morning with eyes half open. NO DEAL.

So…recap: I will remain unfashionable til I drop dead and rot before adorning myself in something that forces from me such melodramatic revulsion as to say that I find it offensive to all 5 of my senses.

Good day.

16 keep(s) me blogging:

AxAtlas said...

So basically each time a woman wears that kind of outfit and asks me “How do I look?” or the ever dreadful “Do I look fat in this?” I always hafta respond with a “You’re hot!” or “Wow! You’re exceptionally beautiful!” Geez! The demands of being a guy these days! Good gosh golly!

nic said...

amen, sister. That thing is an abomination.

I have gotten out my overalls to wear on 80s day at school- they look cute with a big belt and rolled up with keds.. like dexy's midnight runners.

But that was 80s day.

Kara said...

ax - you shouldn't be consorting with women wearing outfits like that.

nic - yeah, WAAAAY different. overalls and pantsuits aren't even part of the same species.

Susie Q said...

Some other fashion fax paus

Hammer pants
Tie dyed anything
Plaid wool pants suits (owned one!)
Shirts with huge padded shoulders
Crocs ( I hate these with the hate of a thousand suns)


Have a good day

Sarah said...

Reminds me of the blueberry chick (can't remember her name) from Willie wonka. And a little bit like a boobah. If you don't know what boobah is, consider yourself lucky.

The Future said...

It looks to me like a cross between one of those lizards with the big collar around their neck that raises when there's danger and an X-Men (or X-Woman) outfit. However, I don't think you'd catch either any self-respecting lizard or alien wearing this thing. I'm with you.

Kara said...

sue - at the gates of hell...one is issued a pair of crocs.

sarah - Violet! You're turning violet, Violet!

future - my sentiments exactly. i think. shouldn't you be picking up waif, ty and Becks right now?

Gorilla Bananas said...

Maybe you should keep one in the closet for when you're 7 months pregnant. Are you one of those women who tries on a new outfit and asks her girlfriend "does my ass look big in this?".

Jill said...

That outfit totally looks like the ensemble that Danny DeVito sported while playing The Penguin in "Batman Returns." It wasn't a good look for him either.

C said...

There's no excuse for that outfit at all-- not if you're pregnant, not if you're blind and insane, not if you're condemned to Hell. If this outfit were purple, the model would look a lot like Ronald McDonald's friend, Grimace, and it makes no sense to aspire to look like a purple blob of unknown origin. Unless you're 3-years-old and your parents picked out a Grimace suit for you for Halloween, in 1987.

Macoosh said...

that's my design you BITCH!

it's because i'm redheaded...i figured my head looked like a pumpkin so why shouldn't my outfit? so you see, there was logic behind it.

Haley said...

So what your saying is you want this for your birthday? Just making sure I got that story straight. : )

Kara said...

goranas - i'd like to think that even being seven months pregnant...my mind wouldn't be so gone as to think that wearing such an atrocity would be a good idea. i don't care how swollen my ankles are.

jill - you're so right! right down to the shoes! now all she needs is a tophat.

c - i remember when grimace was everyone's favorite. but not mine...hamburgler all the way!

macoosh - i'm sorry...but we're no longer friends. pick up your consolation prize at the door.

haley - yes. yes that's what i'm saying. i'm glad someone finally understands me.

apterix55 said...

You know, I would wear that when I am flying.. if the plane breaks up, it would be a perfect body-parachute. It looks like it has wonderful aerodynamic lift.. I would just float down to earth while all the other nattily dress people in jeans and suits would SPLAT! Those French are always thinking!!

Macoosh said...

dammit, and i was just going to use our friendship to bribe you into joining the book club...

Jackie said...

It looks the same as I imagine Violet Boureguard's clothing would look after being deflated. But not purple.