Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A Whole Lot O' What

The chops are gone. Gone. All that work. All that watching. All that pep-talking and name calling and deal-making. Gone. I got to enjoy the completed works for all of a week. Life is unjust. This ranks up there with the Trail of Tears. God I'm an asshole.

I yelled at old people the other day. In my defense, they were toothless and from Ohio (sorry, Kevin). I had a staycation last week when my wonderful darling of a friend from New Orleans came to visit and we were stuck behind them at a gas station and they wouldn't move their fucking minivan so we could get out. We were going to be late for the Timber's game and I'd already taken a nasty blow to the chin from an asshole boulder while river wading in the gorge (don't ask) and my patience was null. So I yelled at them to move. Not politely...though not overly nastily. However, what makes this story worthwhile was the teenage dude in the Trans Am who turned to me after I did it and said through his open window "fucking old people".

Now, people who know me well, or even a little, know that I utter this phrase rather constantly. To hear it from someone else at a moment like this justified my very curmudgeonly existence. We shared a moment, he and I, and it was a lovely one (if clouded by old people).

So, if I have any readers left, you'll have noticed that my last post ended with a cliffhanger. I was going to give the Missus his grand prize of a new, more masculine blog nickname for "successfully" growing chops. But the fact of the matter is...I can't decide on one. You people, though not asked, volunteered to help. Since this is a free country and all, and some of you actually live in it...I think I'll let you give you a little taste of Democracy and we'll put it to a vote.

Behold...a poll.


15 keep(s) me blogging:

Stinkypaw said...

You know what scares me? The fact that I'm starting to feel like I might very well be the "old people" of someone very soon... that is some scary shit thought!

Brendan said...

The Hammer! VOTE FOR THE HAMMER.

Gorilla Bananas said...

That was a beautiful Clockwork Orange moment you had with your fellow droog. But why the fuck isn't "Grasshopper" one of the choices?

AxAtlas said...

I suggested Jeeves...it was either that or Omnibot. I think both are quite kickass.

Robert the Skeptic said...

There was a time when, after hearing the phrase: "Never trust anyone over the age of 30", my response was an enthusiastic "Right ON!" But soon that target age was history and my grip on that adage was quickly discarded. Age clearly is relative [to your age].

On the moniker, "the Missus"... have you asked him what HE would like to be called?

Sarah said...

I can picture it. You have always been, how should I say it...outspoken. I'm almost glad you weren't on that cruise with us and Amy. She was walking around the boat calling them "blue hairs" and "goldies". Not so bad if we weren't outnumbered 2 to 1.

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kara said...

stinkypaw - well i'll take special care not to yell at you.

missus - shhhhhhhh

goranas - it was, wasn't it. and the stupid poll site would only let me put in 7 choices...so i picked them randomly. it's still technically in the running, though.

ax - and you should be proud.

dad - yes...he chose The Hammer. which is why i'm putting it to a vote.

sarah - i have to admit..."goldies" is an awesome nickname. it might have to be used more often.

theWaif said...

Hmmmmmmm. The Hammer, huh? I dunno... Jeeves is very tempting....

The Future said...

If he wants to be called The Hammer then that would make him Thor or better yet, Grabthar (as quoted by Mr. Rickman in Galaxy Quest). There we go, that's my write-in vote!

Mandy said...

I can't see the poll g-dammit! Maybe it's because I'm on a Mac?

From reading the comments, I like The Hammer. But that's the only name I see other than Jeeves (he deserves better) and Thor (kinda cheesy).

problemchildbride said...

I can't see the poll either and I'm on a PC.

I think his chopless self should be called The Rolling Stone on account of his not gathering any more moss. And it's manly.

Sarah said...

I'm changing my vote to "The Rolling Stone". Genious. Is that how you spell it? Or is is genius? Oh crap. They both look wrong now.

Rachel said...

your poll is a dud. it doesnt load.

Rolling stone is great!

Sorry, dude, but "the hammer" is trying to hard to be macho.

Orhan Kahn said...

WTF!

Jeeves was 40% when I voted. Now it is a mere 27%. What is this, an election involving a Bush?

Pssh. Gtfoutofhere!