Saturday, March 21, 2009

Instrumental

Some things you should know

Homemade dill pickles help make white wine taste less like the ugly step-sister of red wine.

Even though you say that you will never ever ever wear leggings. You will. Someday.

There's no such thing as being over Mexican food.

The laundry will never actually be done. Not unless you initiate a Naked Day one day a week. Inadvisable.

You are not the amount of gigs your iPod has. But you are your fucking khakis.

It's okay to eat the meat that would eat you. Two words: bear BBQ.

Cartoon characters belong in the TV and not inked on to your skin.

Buying towels is unsatisfying.

Room temperature beverages will not hurt you.

Statistics can help you make points regardless of the validity of either the statistic or the point.

Even numbers are overrated and often offensive.

You're welcome

12 keep(s) me blogging:

Robert the Skeptic said...

It's true, 10 out of 9 people don't understand statistics.

The rest of your post, I am assuming, was written while "under the influence" as it is marginally intelligible. (Or I am too old to get it.. which appears to be happening now with increasing frequency)

Which reminds me, I have two blog fans now. Yayyyy

Kara said...

dad - nice that you automatically assume your daughter is drunk. i'll have you know that it's only 7:58 and i'm not due to meet the chums at the bar across the street until 8:00, so that means i've only had ONE glass of wine.

yinyang said...

Cartoon characters belong in the TV and not inked on to your skin.

It's not a Disney creature, is it? Because that would be really awful.

Gorilla Bananas said...

You're becoming quite a Confucius as you approach your fourth decade. How about making a video of you saying this stuff while wearing a wispy false beard?

problemchildbride said...

I disagree about Mexican food. It's just the same food folded differently.

The Future said...

Random as recognized by one who is equally capable of same. And, you obviously skew older (approaching your fourth decade from GB) in your writing so beware of that and take measures to appear to sound as young as you are, at least.

Stinkypaw said...

If I haven't worn leggings yet, I doubt it very much I ever will...

You're right about Cartoon characters...

Orhan Kahn said...

My towels are falling apart :(

Rachel said...

White wine is the ugly step sister of red wine?!

I beg to differ, so, EFF YOU!

Red wine is bitter and unpleasant. White is sweet and tangy. SoN I repeat, eff you.

BTW I moved into my own place!

theWaif said...

I want to know why "potato salad" is listed as a tag without there being so much as a tangential reference to it in the actual post, and yet "Naked Day" is missing from your labels entirely? This could spell disaster for any future Condi's Hair content searches.

twinkie said...

love the meat one! In fact, it will be my new motto!

Kara said...

yinyang - really? because i think the looney tunes ones are the WORST

goranas - you shut up about my decades.

sam - blasphemy. especially where you live. extra blasphemy. you're lucky you're foreign. don't correct me.

mum - so i should insert some LOLz?

stinkypaw - don't say that. you're not dead yet, so you never know. when you're dead, you'll know.

or - i had mine for ten years. ridonkulous.

rachel - congrats! don't celebrate by buying towels...it's not any fun. oh, and BLOG.

waif - huh. i forgot i did that.

twinkie - can i just say that i enjoy the idea of having one's motto be about meat.