Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How I Love a Catchphrase

Not since the invention of the giant Cheeto have I been so annoyed with the crap this country comes up with. You'll see why in a moment.

But first...

I love it when people begin conversations with "In this economy...". I want to apply it to everything.

"In this economy, my toenails should be blue."

"In this economy, I will have chili for dinner."

"In this economy, I'd still pay $10 to see Drag Me to Hell."

"In this economy, stirrup pants should not happen."

See how well that works?

So...in this economy - I find the existence of things like The World Cruise Ship highly offensive. Go to that site. Go to it. Do it. It's a cruise ship you can live on. You can pay a couple million for a studio - pre-furnished and decorated an various shades of beige that takes you to exotic places like Brazil, France, South Africa...and Portland?

(excuse the poorly structured camera phone pick from the other side of the bridge)

How is that travel? Honestly. You step off the boat for a day trip to some ruins on Capri and are back on board in time for all you can eat lobster and that struggling stand-up comedian who does Social Security gags. And somehow, you have to make it back to Phoenix for that dental cleaning next month. Better book a flight from Madrid.

That's their life. Weird.

The ship has since sailed. Here's to hoping their next port isn't Iran. Day trips to Tehran may not end well. The footage from there is breaking my heart. Not in the same way this stupid boat is. And the Cheetos...oh the Cheetos.

11 keep(s) me blogging:

theWaif said...

I am as offended by Giant Cheetos as I am by Big Wheat Thins. No sense can be made of these.

I saw that cruise ship as we were driving by the other day and wondered what kind of shitty cruise line would come to Portland, of all places. So thanks for enlightening me about that.

AxAtlas said...

I majored in Economics in undergrad ('01) and I never once heard "In this economy" said during class. If you said "In this economy..." during class (especially during Econometrics Lab), people would most likely throw stuff at ya.
I did enjoy hearing "In the long-run, we're all dead" a bunch.

Gorilla Bananas said...

You don't have to stay cooped up in your studio. You can go out on deck and throw balls to the dolphins and play pranks on other guests. You're probably a prank virgin, but I could give you some ideas to get started.

Orhan Kahn said...

I never suspected you had a heart that felt things for others. Not like you were cold and heartless, just purposely oblivious to anything outside your realm of awesome.

FYI, I will be stopping by Portland if I'm ever in the US. (Considering my girlfriend is a US native the chances are very high). Don't even dare try talking me out of it or I will kill your face.

Rachel said...

In this economy, everyone should wear brillo dresses or kilts.

erin said...

I think Portland seems an appropriate stop on the world tour. It's one of those quaint places where most people don't have cable or indoor plumbing, right? Very ideal for the luxury traveler.

Robert the Skeptic said...

World Cruise Ship doesn't sound like so bad an idea. I'd be able to visit my grandkids from my since-deported mail order bride from Tuvalu. Then about the time they start hitting me up for money I'd say: "oops, gotta go.. ships' sailing. Write when you get an education" ~ *wave*

Jill said...

It kinda reminds me of those people who sell all their possessions and live in enormous RVs, traveling around the country, occasionally parking in an RV park or a relative's driveway.

Can't imagine wanting to live on a boat myself, but I think it might be a good thing to have fewer blind/deaf/infirm people driving vehicles the size of buses on the highways. Plus, I am landlocked and I'm for anything that reduces the chance that a relative will decide to park an RV in my driveway. It's good to have options.

J said...

Haven't visited here in awhile, but I'm loving the new (well, new to me anyway) look.

Auri said...

In this economy, the government should be giving out sex toys of your choice.

kara said...

waif - i want wheat thins to be thinner.

ax - it's a new phase, like skinny jeans...not a recycled phase like leggings. see?

goranas - i saw some of those folks on the deck as i walked by. i had so many questions but they were too far away.

or - please do not kill my face as it is the only one i currently possess. you're free to visit at any time. what city/state is your lady friend from? lookit, i just went 'old west' on you.

rachel - that's not fair, you told me you hated it.

erin - you don't need indoor plumbing when it rains 9 months out of the year. we all have water barrels. so many water barrels.

dad - i think you miss the point of this kind of vessel. but that's why i likes you.

jill - i hate those people. for all sorts of reasons.

j - how dare you leave me for any length of time. you're on probation. and it's the totally enforceable kind.

auri - i doubt any government agency would stock a varied collection. they'd have to raise our taxes to add the rabbit.