Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Simplicty is Subjective...And So's Your Face

I don't know if you know anything about Scandanavian design, but let me tell you right now, having been to Ikea doesn't count. With Scandinavian design, the goal is to achieve both minimalism and complexity with a hint of functionality drizzed over the top. And at the end of the process, what you're left with is housewares.






Like this:



I'm not sure what this is.






Arlie, one of my oldest and bestest friends from way back in the ten years when we were exchange students together asked me to be his plus one to a wine and cheese thing at some fancy pants home store in the Pearl. I can't say no to free wine.



We wandered about the place for a good half hour or more, picking things up and putting them back down, sometimes dropping them because minimalist housewares are often slippery.





There were a lot of conversations that started with him handing a thing to me with a:






"What do
you think this is?"

I hold it up. Turn it back and forth.

"I think it's a bottle opener. See, you open it with the metal part."

"Ok, now turn it over."

The little tag on the underside said door stop. No joke. That's it. To
the left there. Door stop.



And it went on and on. Because the keys for the keyrings aren't actually in the store. No. In the store, it's just a hunk of rounded silver just sitting there. Expensive, with no apparent function. Except to make me crazy.




It's like a puzzle. Only once you solve it, there's something right next to it that's just as puzzling.

Of course, it's all cool looking as hell. But the mental capacity required for shopping in such an establishment is completely lacking in someone like me. Even with wine.

But I have to love the Scans with their wacky language and odd pickled fishes. It's a love Arlie and I share. And you know what else Arlie and I share? Awesome blogs.

Isn't that a lovely segue? Into THIS...a gorgeous blog about eating good food affordably. Of course, there's a distinct Portlandly slant since that's where he lives, but food knows no borders so go to it already. You'll never have to menu plan again (as Brendan is soon to find out when I inform him). Eat well friends. But only from functional tablewear.

Foodie for Less

And if you feel like solving puzzles. Here's the store with the door stop.

12 keep(s) me blogging:

Robert the Skeptic said...

I'm pretty sure that most of the stuff on the set of the Woody Allen film, "Sleeper" came from Ikea. Come to think of it... that big blue "bomb"-thermos you gave Nan-c from Denmakr looks remarkably similar to an "orgasmatron".

Gorilla Bananas said...

Orgasmatron is right. If anyone asked me what a mysterious Scandinavian object was, my first guess would always be "sex toy". Most objects can double up as sex toys with a bit of imagination.

Auri said...

How right you are Mr. Bananas. Although might I warn against coke bottles. I once saw and x-ray of a poor man with a coke bottle stuck in his backside. Very uncomfortable I'd assume.

I find myself getting lost in Ikea... it's like Disneyland for adults. Wander around, eat food, solve puzzles, sit on cheap furniture and people watch.

I'm pretty sure they sell the Orgasmatron at Ikea, it's right next to the Fargegnuenegen.

Jill said...

But...but, what's the little hook thing for (on the "doorstop")? I can't even think of a wise-ass reason for it to be there. Sigh. I'm losing my wise-ass.

Charlie said...

Thanks, Auri, for reminding me! My Fargegnuenegen is on the fritz and I need to pop over and get a new one.

Unless Fargegnuenegen is something to eat, in which case mine is spoiled and I need to pop over and get a new batch.

yinyang said...

If I want to solve puzzles, I'll stick with Sudoku.

Stinkypaw said...

A good puzzle is always welcome, and some of these were too "puzzlish" for me!

But I like the key holder hunk of silver.

The Future said...

The good news is, IKEA does also have something that looks normal which would be their meatballs! They clearly look like meatballs, taste like meatballs and I don't think they would hold any doors open even if you used the entire bag.

Orhan Kahn said...

I need a door snake. I wonder if they make one that looks like a mirror or something.

Mary Witzl said...

I'm not a huge fan of Scandinavian minimalism -- I'm too fond of details. Still, I do love a lot of Scandinavian stuff, including their pickled fish and rye bread. But most of all, I admire the way they make everyone else's language learning look like crap.

Rachel said...

I dont think that chicken can be used as a sex toy, and anyone who does is a pervert.

Auri said...

Charlie... on Mondays, in traditional Denmark, the Fargegnuenegen happens to be and old fashioned ladies brasierre. However, on Thursdays the modern-day Denmark has taken to calling a fairly long sausage the Fargegnuenegen. Sorry yours is on the fritz. Bummer.