Friday, June 12, 2009

A Place to Walk and an iPod

Whoever realized that Johnny Depp should always be in vests gets a gold star. And they should feel good about that, because the highest I ever got was green.

I've seen a lot of ugly couples lately and am wondering if it's to do with the economy. Everyone's making cutbacks, even on their standards. Is that mean? It might be. But every time I see an ugly couple, it isn't so much that I think "how sweet that they found each other" as it is "who looks at that mug across a room and thinks YES". These are the things I think about when I have some place to walk to and an iPod.

I would have blogged sooner, but I was in Atlanta sweating my balls off. My dreams of reaching shemaledom have officially sizzled away in the hot Southern sun. I'm fairly certain those were lyrics to a Neil Young song, but I'm afraid I can't prove it. Anyway, I went for work but I stayed for the meatballs and the company (shoutout to JG!). But also I stayed because I had to.

I think it's weird that there are people who live half their time on the East coast and half on the West. I don't understand how their bodies can handle it. There were times when I was sitting in 8:30 am meetings (5:30 am my time) and was working so hard at keeping my eyes open, I'm certain it appeared as though I was on peyote.

I actually don't know how one ingests peyote. But I bet it's awesome.

I'm going to use tomorrow to catch up on blogs so I can avoid buying grout. Goals.

You
beetches better have some drama for me. If I end up preferring to spend my time on home improvement, we'll have to have words.

Kara out.

20 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I'm so glad you're in the South where you can learn to be a proper lady instead of giving us all your bullshit macho talk about shemales and sweaty balls. Go down to the local plantation and have iced tea with a Southern Belle called Miss Emmy-Lou or something. It'll be a real education for you.

Brendan said...

Regarding peyote: you eat it.

erin said...

I think it's totally weird how Johnny Depp doesn't really age. I mean, he looks older, but he certainly doesn't look as old as female actresses his age.

I know this is totally cliche, because of the Ninth Gate movie, but I bet(!) he made a deal with ze devil!

Auri said...

Go buy some grout and fix your house you lazy girl;-) I love the dirty south... every menu has grits available and everybody calls you ma'am. It's fabulous! Hope you soaked up the local culture while you were sweating you're proverbial 'balls' off!

Macoosh said...

you have been missed.

mostly because you could've given us that photo of a vested jd sooner.

Robert the Skeptic said...

Peyote is legal in Oregon for "sacred ritual use" - meaning you would need to smoke it then spend a few hours in a sweat lodge where you would commune with "The Great Spirit" (... or is it the Great Pumpkin!?). Anyway, it involves sweating so that's out for you.

Why do you need grout?? Explain!!

Charlie said...

Johnny Depp turned 46 on June 9th, last Tuesday. He truly is a great actor.

Robert is right about the peyote, but he forgot to mention you have to go nekkid in the sweat lodge and it smells real bad. Similar, I think, to a bunch of sweaty balls.

And screw the grout--use duct tape instead.

Woozie said...

Truer words (in regards to the vest) have never been spoken.

Orhan Kahn said...

You have balls now?

Mary Witzl said...

Lucky you in the South! Bet you're even hotter than I am now, though. Um...you know, heat-wise.

The Future said...

I fear I've bequeathed you my ability to mind ramble; from Atlanta to balls (all types) to Neil Young to peyote to grout. Awesome! I totally follow your train of lack of thought.

My current update is not quite so random however.

Stinkypaw said...

You were away? Oh... ok.

Happy to read (I think?) you sweated your balls off, I'm sure it was less painful then having them cut off...

Glad you're back!

kara said...

goranas - your FACE is bullshit! i zinged you.

b-rock - sprinkled on spaghetti?

erin - i think he IS the devil. how 'bout THAT?!

auri - grits taste like mini stewed eyeballs. blech. (no offense to grits)

machoosh - is if you can't google. pshaw!

papahhh - i read the packaging and realized it was caulk. so that's what i bought. for the tile in the shower!

charlie - see you haven't been here long, but if you had, you'd know my obsession with hot older men. if the search function still existed in this template (i need to fix that) and you searched for "gary oldman", you'd see.

woozie - i speak the gospel of Depp.

or - i was trying to mold some out of clay but as you see here, they melted in the sun.

mary - nah, i'm back now where it's nice and not hot. i already miss it though.

future - gonna checks it out!

stinkypaw - THANKS...missed you TOO!

Rachel said...

I'm sorry I couldn't read your blather because I was busy drooling over Johnny. God he looks so HAWT now that he's out of that tacky pirate costume!


Man, I was horny before, but NOW. Curse you, I need a boinking from Johnny, and you know THAT'S never gonna happen!

Mia Dickinson said...

Johnny Depp is like a fine wine, only gets better with time.

Southern girls do it best, its been proven time and time again.

As for the whole time differences, I struggle when they put the time ahead by one hour, let alone living on two different coasts!

Rachel Noy said...

Our ugly couple's offspring are the people that take your bins away, fix your computer, and clean your streets young lady!

Johnny Depp. Now there's a man who will never need to sweep in his life.

twinkie said...

you said "caulk" tee hee.

Auri said...

And you've taken to eating stewed eyeballs young lady? I'm worried about you=)

kara said...

rachel - it's ok...it was only green star-worthy blather.

mia - i drink $4 of wine. what i'm trying to say here is that i can't afford the Depp.

ra-noy - no, you're thinking of people with face tattoos.

twinkie - i know,huh.

auri - worrying about me will prove to be an exhausting hobby. ask goranas.

AxAtlas said...

Depp looks like one of the Jonas Brothers now. Like he's their uncle or something. Uncle Johnny.