Monday, October 19, 2009

Waste-of-money Product Reviews: The BumpIt

It's a well known fact to people who know it - I love infomericals. I will watch one in its entirety before I even know it's over. And then do everything in my power to control the impulse to 'call now' regardless of what the extra bonus offer is.

So when the stupid inventions on TV show up in Target and I'm with amy g. ... and it's called a 'Bumpit' ... and it's under $10 ... and there's an hour until 30 Rock starts ... I think you see where this is going:
The Bumpit. Pronounced "Bump It" and not "Bum Pit" - unless you are us, and then that's totally how you pronounce it.

It comes with directions.
Let's give Kara a beehive!
It works for your hair OR your ass!
The finished product is a a growth. A growth that's very slowly falling off my head.

Front view.
Perhaps a little moisture will help the staying power. (No, she didn't really lick it.)
(Or did she.)
Now it's amy's turn. There was a little more success with her non-toddler hair.
Enough to inspire a dance with the joy of it.

And then...the double BumpIt. Which only succeeded in giving her an alien head.
As a product - it completely failed to do anything but make us laugh. Needless to say...the As Seen On TV invention is going back. So now you have two reasons not to buy one. 1. It doesn't work. 2. You might accidentally buy the one that we returned. And after watching amy g.'s review summation below, you'll understand why you should live in fear of such an occurance.

(Note: At one point amy refers to the 'jojo boys'. Jojos are fried wedge potatoes sold in the corner store across the street. They are glorious. And there are often boys hanging out in front of this shop with apparently nothing else to do. That is where the name comes from. The fact that they happen to sport 'ethnic hair' is purely coincidental. But yes, she's totally also racist.)

18 keep(s) me blogging:

yinyang said...

I don't understand why anyone would want big hair like the Bumpit is supposed to give people in the first place. Other than as part of a retro look, anyway.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I wouldn't let that thing anywhere near my bum pit, but it makes your head look more eggy and intellectual. It you covered up your ears you be fit for an interview with Wolf Blitzer.

Orhan Kahn said...


Brennan you saucy mofo, cooking for his peeps. That swarve beast of a man.

You have an adorable laugh, almost like you're stoned.

That is all.

erin said...

Have you ever seen the ads for Smooth Away? I've put that shit in my cart a million times and always put it back. I think to myself, "You've never bought a made for t.v. type thing before, why start now?", but it still calls for me.

Rachel said...

The bumpit--great for parties!

*Not to be used as an actual hair-styling product.

CUTENESS! You need to waste your money more often.

theWaif said...

That's ridonkulous. Should be called the "Tumorous Growth Head Bulger." Sounds better than the "Bumpit" anyway.

I think trying out As-Seen-On-TV shit should be a new regular feature on your blog. In keeping with the subject of hairstyling, I vote for the Flowbee next.

Robert the Skeptic said...

Soooo you actually purchased something advertised in an infomercial !!? Why waste your money on hair poofers when you can get an Obama Chia?

Operators are standing by.z

The Future said...

I think you should take up a collection from all your readers so you can afford to buy all this made for tv junk to test on behalf of the masses. What this really means is that Great-Great Grandma Vasey's genes have shown up in your DNA and they are compelling you to buy - buy - buy whatever they are selling on tv. Beware of that compulsion, you still have 40 years before you're her age when she was really into this and by then there will be no room for you in your house from all the infomercial paraphenalia piled throughout the place. Danger! Danger!

kara said...

yinyang - because big hair is FUN. this is true.

goranas - i wouldn't let him clean my socks and/or opaque tights.

or - i don't take video very often due to the fact that i hate my face and i hate my voice. so don't get your hopes up.

erin - oh yes ma'am, i have! that just might be the next one to test.

rachel - do you own one? you sound like you do. DO YOU?

waif - you could be guest reviewer.

dad - that doesn't need a review for all of us to know that such a product is AWESOME.

mum - i'll start passing around the plate.

Twinkie said...

OMG..... seriously freaken hilarious. My friend actually combs her hair like this. Without a bump it. I have never been jealous. Except for I was in HIGH SCHOOL and big hair was in. And mine was too wimpy to stand up to the hair bear task. Anyways.... awesome review. hahahaha

Charlie said...

Why am I the only one who thinks that was a fair and objective review, just like Fox News?

And I agree that this should be a blog feature.

Rachel said...

I have considered owning one. But I havent actually bought it, mostly because I have toddler hair, just like you. and would just look silly.

Stinkypaw said...

That you for this. I've wondered if it was really doing the trick, but now that you've done this deep research and trials, it confirmed my theory to NOT buy anything from an infomercial..

Stinkypaw said...

oops... brain and fingers seem to be out of sinc there, should have read something like "Thank you"

Orhan Kahn said...

That is so cliche and silly! You're silly.

MORE. I demand MORE!

kara said...

twinkie - yes, some of us will just have to be happy without giant head growths.

charlie - we gave that Bumpit every chance to work! i'd say we were more CNN than FOX.

rachel - and now you never have to. you're welcome.

stinkypaw - oh now wait a minute...i wouldn't say "never". that's like swearing that you'll never buy a snuggie and we all know everyone will own one eventually.

or - your face is cliche.

Mary Witzl said...

Wish I could rent out some of my big hair. I've got a natural Bumpit in there and I don't even want it. Phhhht.

nic said...

LMAO! I love it. Why don't I think of whimsy things like buying something random on tv just to try?

Oh yeah. Because I'm boring. And I'm convinced I have no money. Especially after replacing my broken printer. :P

Thanks for the laughs! :D