Not Up To Code

I bet you wish you lived in this cool ass house. But you can't because I live there.This was taken as I was leavingfor work...then I got to ride the bus for 1/3 of a mile before we got stuck behind a bus that was actually stuck so I had to walk the other 2 miles. Alas. Oregonians are idiots in snow. We're like dogs. We sniff and try to bite it, then freak out and run back and forth until we get tired. See...all we know is rain. Or, at this time of year, it's more like snain. But you get the idea.
That's the view from my front door. I opened it and was like "woah...guess I need to change out of these three inch heels". I didn't say any of that out loud, though. Just to myself. And then I went and put on boots. The end.
The view from my office window. My practically empty office. Only the bad asses made it in. We're forming a bad ass brigade. There will be a secret handshake. (Oh, and earlier we saw a naked guy in one of those hotel windows across the street...it was not what one would call 'pretty'. I mean, for god's sake, man, it's snowing outside, put on some pants!)
Ok, enough about the snow. Last Saturday Amy G. and I went out dancing. I haven't done this in ages and it was TIME. The Holocene (local venue) was hosting an "International Night" with an Indian and a Brazilian DJ. So we get there and the place was packed with...get this...a trillion urban hipsters all dressed in black and white hipster regalia. INCLUDING myself. What can I say, my Soul Rebel t-shirt needed a night out.

The first DJ (Indian) was showing Bollywood movie clips to go with her set. I felt like I'd wandered onto the set for Bend it Like Beckham. The thing of it is...skinny urban hipster types do NOT know how to dance to this type of music. There was a lot of head bobbing...some flailing...and some hopping from foot to foot. I was DYING. We couldn't help but openly laugh at people. Amy G. and I are club elitists, though...like clockwork upon entering any club she likes to announce "We're the hottest things in here". Regardless of whether or not it's true...it makes us laugh.

Anyway, on to the explanation of the title. At one point, several drinks in, Amy G. is trying to get me to climb up onto this stage type thing to show the room what's what. I looked at the rickety thing and the other winners who were already rocking it and told her, "That thing is NOT up to code" (as in 'I will not risk my life on a wobbly piece of plywood just to show this room what's what'). For some reason, this was hilarious to her. We began to apply it to everything. It spread like wildfire. Any skeezy guy that rolled up on us was automatically informed that they were "not up to code". The insanely long line at the bar..."not up to code". The empty self-serve water jug... "not up to code". The cheesy fries we ate at 3 in the morning..."not up to code" (they lacked chili). Everything. EVERYTHING.! And you know what? In the cold light of day, it's still the best new randomly applicable saying EVER! That is, til we get tired of it and come up with a new one.

Enough of this. I want to go stare out the window.