Wednesday, March 14, 2007

All We Are Is Dust In The Wind

Tonight is the Modest Mouse show! Yaaaaay! Except I'm still not allowed to have booze til Saturday. Boooo! Stupid medicine. Stupid body requiring the stupid medicine. Stupid.

So it's been three weeks, I can officially give my New Boy his title...hold for dramatic pause...KANSAS! That's right...he's from he will be called Kansas as his job title is just too long. Honestly, I don't know where this guy has been all my life (well...the obvious answer to that would be Kansas)...but I haven't been this happy in ages. Don't worry cynical bitchiness will still find its way onto this blog because I still hate my job...thank god...and old people...and Hummers...and generic brands of ketchup...etc. So we're good.

And last night...Jen, Kansas and I go see
Little Children. First off...everyone should see this movie. To
dd Field is one of my favorite directors. His social commentary is painful, hilarious, dark and twisted at the same's absolutely my favorite style of filmmaking and it should be supported. Second of all...Kate Winslet is my favorite actress. If I batted for the other would be because of her...but that saying shouldn't really apply because baseball metaphors don't seem appropriate when hinting at lesbianism. Or maybe they're too appropriate. Who the jebus knows. Anyway, see it. And then get back to me.

So before the movie starts, we're sitting there in our little duck row and somehow got on the topic of the astronaut stalker
who drove 900 miles in something like 4 hours to kidnap her lover's lover. As anyone who's heard of this already knows, to drive such a distance in such a short amount of time...something essential must be ignored. Something surrounding a primal urge. No...I'm not talking about sex...keep it together, people. She wore diapers. I have taken to calling them space diapers. So when she showed up to confront her lova's lova...she did so with crap in her pants. Nice.

But that's
not what concerned us. What concerned us is how far away space is. I mean...if 900 miles requires space diapers...does it follow that one diaper is all you need to go into space? How many miles away is space? I mean, it's not like you can just take a plane straight up 900 miles to see if you're still in blue sky and then be like "Ok, reset the odometer...we're goin' back down and having a slice o' pie". You just can't do that. Can you? Wouldn't it be cool if you could? I think that's what we settled'd be cool if you could. So those are the kinds of conversations that make us special. That is all. Carry on wayward son.

Sorry, I had to.

15 keep(s) me blogging:

Jen said...

First of all, that movie guy's ass was amazing. Jiminy, it made my eyes water from its beauty. It was either that or the wretched dog butt and Fritos pizza that was being eaten behind us. Second, what kind of pie would we have after a 900 mile flight in the Cessna? I am fond of the banana cream, but I have a feeling that you aren't. No matter, we live in the great state or Oregon; we can eat different types of pie. If we lived in Kansas, we'd have to eat Dust Pie, because that's all they have. That and sorghum. Sorghum pie anyone?

susan said...

They get more than one diaper when up in space,
they don't have to make it that WHOLE time like that.
I guess they hold the poop and use the diaper only for pee.
That's what the npr story said;
like on a space walk they use it to pee during the 11 hour time
then poop in the vacuum hose thing.
Just so you know.

A chuisle said...

patrick wilson is gorgeous. in the moment i'd lean toward being a lesbian for kate, he'd reel me right back to the other side b/c he's so hot. and talented. I saw him in The Fully Monty and in Oklahoma! on Broadway, and OMG can the man sing. Plus I got to see his winky. :)

I still didn't get a chance to see Little Children; I missed it while it was here. I really want to see this film.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I feel similarly about Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett too.

Question, if a bear poos in space can anyone hear you scream?

apterix55 said...

Actually you CAN hop into space and be back in time to have a piece of pie. See: ttp://

Hell, you're not up there long enough to even need a diaper. (Although, I wish I had known about them back when I did my first skydive!)

Kara said...

jen - that guy's ass WAS amazing...but, you know, not gonna go commenting on it like crazy with Kansas next to me...we're not there yet. i'd be up for a slice of Dust Pie...though, you know I was talking about pizza.

susan - well thank you for setting the reader's straight! WHERE would we all BE if it weren't for your well informed self commenting smarty pants knowiness ALL over the place. you're a gem.

macoosh - he's almost too pretty for me. i like my boys to have some character...i like them to look like they've been in at LEAST one knife rumble.

sam - the answer to that question is one can ever hear you scream in space. except Hal. think about it. i know i will.

AxAtlas said...


Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

But it's just the bear in space. The "you" of the thing might be anywhere and i know I'm not going anywhere without a breathable atmosphere; I'm no dummy, me. Nope siree.

thethinker said...

Anything with Kate Winslet in it is worthy of the ridiculously large amount of money required to buy just one ticket and a bucket of popcorn at the movies.

Can you spare like... 20 dollars?

(By the way, I like Kate Winslet too. But not in a lesbian sort of way.)

Gorilla Bananas said...

I'm glad you like a full-bodied woman like Kate. She always looks so fertile. As for Kansas, I'll just think of the Wizard of Oz. Is he closest to the Tin Man, the Lion or the Scarecrow?

A chuisle said...

ah, see when i saw him in those shows, he was playing slightly rougher characters, so he fit the bill perfectly for me. :)

Kara said...

apterix - iKNEW it!

ax - did you actually make that yourself? hilarious.

sam - well...maybe the bear can throw his voice? maybe he's a circus bear. either way...HE thinks he's screaming audibly and that's all that really matters

thinker - ahhh, see, we have pub theaters the movie only cost me $3 plus the cost of a slice of pizza and a beer...except I didn't have those so it was really just $3. How are you liking New Orleans? Kiss Andrew Jackson's Horse's foot for me.

goranas - Well, it's more that I can relate...having some extensive curves myself. I appreciate her. And really, Kansas doesn't fit any of those molds. He might have been one of the green-haireds in the Emerald City.

macoosh - i will agree with Jen, however...the man had a PERFECT ass.

AxAtlas said...

oh hell nah i didn't do that but I always thought about it. The one who did has a huge groovy collection of "indexes".
Think about all the famous people we know and love who grew up in the midwest and left, such as Brad Pitt (go kickapoo!...sorry. just a funny name for a school) and Nelly and Darius Miles and your governor.

The Future said...

The only actor I can think of who came from the midwest was Cary Grant and that just doesn't work for me. Instead, I think he should have been hatched and cultivated in some perfect debonair environment that only creates perfect beings. I guess that means I only gush over dead people because no one alive can touch him.

slaghammer said...

So this is what it has come to. I haven’t read ahead so I have no idea how long this phase is going to last. You know what they say, happiness is the artist’s worst enemy. Not that I hope everything doesn’t work out, I just hope you find an irritating flaw in Kansas’s’s’s personality soon. How many apostrophes are there in Kansas? I guess you posted this sixteen days ago. This must be what it feels like to fall asleep in a store and then wake up after everybody’s gone home and the lights are all turned off. I’ll just wander over to the produce section and eat some grapes.