Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What's Wrong With Capitalism

Hey.

Ikea tried to kill me, but it failed. It was just pissed that I didn't like any of its couches. Vengeful retail establishment. I think it got me somewhere in the children's department where I foolishly put my hand on a rug. Then I probably went and did something dumb like rubbed my eye and that was it. That's what gave me a full week of being unable to leave my bed. And you have NO idea what it's like to be stuck in a room inwhich you strongly disklike the paint color. No idea.


So here I am a week later, back in the office for the first time in half a fortnight, bugging the tar out of the coworkers with my hacking.

I wonder what I could do with all the excess tar?

AND I'm getting assaulted with news items like THIS:

(thank you, Brawleys)

Now I love boots as much as the next person, but not enough to replace pants with them. They simply cannot serve the same function, I don't care what kind of climate you come from. There's a reason fly fisherman change back into their normal clothing when they've finished the sport. Walking around town in waders is not practical OR attractive. If men who like to spend their free time standing by themselves in cold rivers playing catch with fish realize this...I feel the fashion world should too.

You can read about this alarming trend here.

16 keep(s) me blogging:

Mary Witzl said...

Until you pointed it out, I didn't even realize those were BOOTS! What a huge waste of leather. And to think I've been agonizing about whether or not to buy another pair of cowboy boots. Sheesh.

the blogger formerly known as yinyang said...

Ah, but do you feel the same way about leggings used as pants?

Robert the Skeptic said...

Where have you been??!! Avatars in Second Life (SL) have been wearing "no pants boots" for, like, forever. (Well not exactly forever.. SL has only been around since 2005). Everyone should go on SL and dress their avitar and see what works - then go buy it in Real Life (RL). The best part: everything fits.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hmm, that sounds pretty bad for a visit to Ikea, maybe you're accident-prone. And those boots wouldn't fit on a woman with meaty thighs, which is why we're both against them.

Anonymous said...

I can't read about a single other alarming trend. I can't. We're so effing swimming in alarming trends we are merely human wreckage bobbing all flotsamly on the surface.

I was once confined to my room for 7 weeks on bedrest when I was pregnant. We had just moved in and the bedroom was a hideous peachy colour with a dark green floral trim strip around the top. It was 7 weeks of needing to pee as the girls jumpled and jigged on my bladder and pretty soon I got to start seeing the room as the inside of a giant bladder that could never be relieved with a layer of green scum on the top. That would make me a sort of pee molecule or perhaps a passing kidney stone or something. It was not a pretty time.

Unknown said...

As the coworker who has annoyed everyone with their hacking since - oh - mid-January, I must say it's nice to have a partner in crime. And, it's nice to have you back.

I hate the carpet in my family room. Hate it, and yet it lives there for 7 years since we bought the house. Get over it.

Me said...

Good to see you're feeling better :)

Sarah said...

This is exactly why I refer to my children as "carrier monkeys". They bring home everything and are likely the cause of your illness. We were at Ikea last month...

The Future said...

Sarah, is this that six degrees of separation thing? But the question is, was Lauren wearing boots that went all the way up her legs when she was busy leaving her germs behind at IKEA? Just don't tell Kara. That would make it a sicker sickness.

d said...

thank god you're back. we missed you. didn't we?

Anonymous said...

OK so if high boots with big heels are called (EFF) me boots.. what are these called? Stay the (EFF) away from me boots?

and YES we missed you.

Anonymous said...

oh.. and I moved to wordpress.. just FYI: https://somebodystolemytwinkie.wordpress.com/

kara said...

mary - i simply do not get cowboy boots. there's nothing about the design that seems meant for comfort.

yinyang - yes. but not nearly as strongly.

dad - yeah but these aren't fetish wear. nor do they look nice.

goranas - you are most likely correct.

sam - i love that everyone else is freaking out over the economy and you're freaking out over the overwhelming number of horrible trends. it's why i like you.

and that horrifying story of pregnancy has put another check over in the "adopt" side.

christy - that story is heartbreaking. no one should live with unwanted carpeting.

or - yes, yes it is.

sarah - yes, that's what it felt like. germs that festered for a month before settling in ME.

mum - you can't tell my friends not to tell me things. or something.

d - you're so dramatic.

twinkie - two gold stars for that analysis.

Anonymous said...

Happy to see you back, alive.

Rachel said...

IKEA rawks.

I LOVE THOSE BOOTS OMG

....
and on a non-sarcastic note, glad youre back.

Jill said...

Heh. I'm pretty sure it would take at least two of those boots to fit over one of my thighs.