Sunday, November 11, 2007

Michael Clayton Owes Me $2

What makes a person walk into the kitchen to make tea and instead, walk to the fridge and pull out a beer? The two are opposites. One should not be inspired or, indeed, replaced by the other. If anything...the first should over shadow the need for the latter if its intent was to soothe or calm...which is, I believe, tea's main function. It sure as hell doesn't quench thirst. But then, neither does a beer really. Especially not a dark one. Oregon has a crapload of beer...just leaping and frolicking about all over the place. You can't throw a stick without hitting a microbrewery in this town. So, it's kind of a shame that I drink Pabst. Or worse...Rolling Rock. It's almost as bad as refusing to shop at Powell's.

But Kansas likes the local brew, which is how I came to be sitting at the kitchen table, listening to Nighthawks at the Diner and drinking a Snow Cap seasonal ale. I just thought you'd all like an establishing shot.

Speaking of banal film terminology...I had a movie date with my mum today. We went to see Michael Clayton. It was fantastic. It was also EIGHT FUCKING DOLLARS for a MATINEE showing. As I was sitting there, waiting for the movie to start and hoping I wouldn't have to pee five minutes into the first act, it occurred to me. My children will never set foot in a movie theater.


By the time they're old enough to go see whatever computer animated vermin with a penchant for flower arranging Disney's decided to make their latest protagonist, a daytime movie will cost $15 and I'll have become my grandmother who refuses to pay more than a dollar for anything. No more getting dropped off at the theater at noon and picked up at 5. No more shelling out for whatever chuckles the current Saturday Night Live actor's latest skit-inspired flick might bring to the drudgery of a pre-drinking age weekend night. Those days are gone. My kids are going to know the word "netflix" before the word "mommy". And that's the way it'll just have to be.


Sucks.


Hope there'll at least be flying cars or something cool by that time to make it all worthwhile. Otherwise I might just end it now. Or after I finish this beer.

17 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

When your kids are in their early teens you'll have home movies - a huge flat screen on a wall in your house on which you can download the latest films for $2.50. It will be in a special movie room and they'll switch off the lights. But they won't let you in except to bring the popcorn. Your kids can call me Uncle Bananas.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Thank Christ you didn't say Coors.

Mac said...

Well done Kara.
By the way, when I was a kid, we would always go to double feature movies for the same price. About 2 bucks.
But wait for it............
when I started driving in 1971, gas was 29 cents a gallon.
Good day.

Jill said...

I'm still waiting for the George Jetson "car in a briefcase" future I was promised as a child. You'd think somebody could have come up with that in 35 years.

Mary Witzl said...

Take lots of awful pictures of your kids when they're too little to protest. Get shots of them on bearskin rugs, wearing outlandish hats, dressed inappropriately in obnoxiously girly clothes, etc. Keep the negatives well hidden and use the photographs as bargaining chips. Take my word for it: this works. It might seem mean, but just remember that you are doing this for a good cause.

Kevin said...

Movies are WAY too fucking expensive. It doesn't matter WHAT movie it is.

I used to say that it didn't matter what the ticket prices for movies were...I would ALWAYS see a Star Wars movie or an Indiana Jones movie in the theater.

I didn't see the last 2 Star Wars movies in the theater. And I probably won't be seeing the new Indiana Jones movie until it's release on DVD, either.

BUT...because of the kids...we will be seeing the next Harry Potter movie in the theater. In fact, the most recent Harry Potter movie (Order of the Phoenix) was the last movie I saw in a theater. And I think Goblet of Fire was the "theater movie" before that.

froelica said...

I agree, but only for Century 16 and Regal. I'm counting on the Laurelhurst's and Academy's of the world to stick it out long enough for my little ones to catch the pre-5:00/pre-drinking shows.

Susie Q said...

Back in the day, Jim and I used to own a video store. Bet you didn't know that... But, the real insanity was we didn't OWN a VCR until we opened the store. It was so new, very few did. (DVD's were yet a thing of the future)
Oh and the really big dilema was whether to buy a "Beta" player or a "VHS" player.
Anybody even remember "Betas"?
Geez, Jim and I went to the movies ALL the time when we were "youngsters" and like Jim said, it was always double features. The very first single feature I went to was "Love Story" Golly whiz, I feel old...

Sarah said...

My kids already know the word netflix as a verb. "Mom, can we netflix Ratatouille?"

Anonymous said...

I too remember the early days of vcrs. For special events my mother would rent them from the video store before she finally shelled out the money for our own. It came in this gigantic hard plastic brief case....the rental one I mean. I also remember that every vhs movie had it's beta counterpart sitting right beside it on the shelves. Of course I also remember my dad filming things with an actual reel to reel camera and watching it on a projector....but that is another topic altogether.

Laura said...

Yeah, I just know that someday in the not-too-distant future I'll be regaling Beckett with witty anecdotes of my first real job at Videoland and after I'm through, he'll pause and ask me, "Mom, what's a video?" And I will know then and there that I have finally achieved "geezer" status.

Something to look forward to.

MollyB, Bloggerin said...

Your kids will pay 50 bucks a ticket to take you to the movies.

Love the blog name!

Anonymous said...

I think you should be more concerned with whether or not your future kids will have eyes that work with the amount of Pabst you drank last night. Poor, Sad, Blind, Emelda, Mommy did not mean to I swear she was just blinded by the cheap. 4 dollars for 40 oz who could pass that up.

AxAtlas said...

I dig the local brew here too...but if I get the chance, I'll still choose the heavy Belgian booze over it...especially the one made by Monks.
Tried the Rogue Beer Floats yet?

The Future said...

I can't believe it, I just wrote a huge comment and I got some stupid error and it ignored the whole blessed thing. Ugh! OK, first, I'll drink your tea. Second, how can you use up your entire blog currency talking about admission prices while completely avoiding the Cloonacy we enjoyed for those two hours. I have to say I think he is sexiest when he's not trying to be. In fact, there were a few scenes where he was downright shaggy. Third, the movie was enough to make you want to go into business for yourself; the world of big business really is evil, immoral and frightening. So thanks for the date, but should I worry about you calling me again?:)

Kara said...

i fell behind and now i'm too lazy to answer individually. but know that i love you all. even the ones i don't.

Orhan Kahn said...

Oh my God, you're going to be the worst parent and grandmother, ever! Ya' cheap bastardo!