Sunday, January 27, 2008

Hipsters are rude.

My weekend mornings are normally uneventful...and of late, have me sporting a hangover convincing me that death is near. Solid. This one was less sedentary...as I went to two restaurants and a cemetery...all before 1 PM.

Brunch with the laaaydies consisted of banana's foster french toast. I know...breakfast with BOOZE in it! I'm so on my way to becoming a fat cow. You wouldn't judge me if you could've tasted it, though. And if you still would...well, I've got some nice rope you can suck.

Between my home and the restaurant is the Pioneer Cemetery. Next time I get up the energy to leave the house in the daylight hours, I'll take the ol' digital camera over there for some pics. It's a cool place, worthy of its own post. I walked through it on my way home (scooter's got a dead battery...bike's in the 'shop') as I am sometimes want to do. Wacky place, but as I said...worthy of its own post...so disregard.

I arrived home just in time for Kansas to be off of work, hungry and too needy to go eat by himself...so off we went to another neighborhood eatery. I didn't get home until ONE THIRTY! Exhausting. But now I'm safe and sound on my cushy orange sectional with my umpteenth cup o' tea. Just in case you care.

So while Kansas stuffed his cute face with corn beef hash, I stared at the next table. 5 hipsters...all with their "morning after" hair and thick black glasses (I know I have a pair too, but mine are vintage...there's a difference, so shut up). Of the 5, 4 of them were reading The Mercury (local free paper) as they sat and waited for their food. Rude! The 5th guy was alternating between looking out the window and glancing at the paper over the shoulder of one of the chicks. It's just absurd! What is the point of going to brunch with friends if you're all just going to sit and read a gajillion copies of the SAME paper instead of talking to each other? These assholes needed to order their shit to-go and be done with it. And what was the other guys' deal? Lone rebel? Illiterate? Far sighted? I don't know, but I felt bad for him. Not enough to invite his unbathed ass over to our table, though.

The last couple of days have been wacky here in the quaint metropolis of Portland proper. I know I occasionally post pictures of the weather forecast in my blogs, and I realize this is extremely nerdy and of little interest to anyone not presently at this locale, but I can't let this one pass:
What the fuck is a Wintry Mix?

I've figured out that they're referring to what I call "Snain", which quite logically, is snow mixed with rain. Look at that, a term that tells you everything you need to know in one syllable. How the fuck are you supposed to dress for a Wintry Mix? Rain coat? Down jacket? Both? Hood? No hood? What the EFF? It's not even weather terminology. Know why? Because this is an 'Autumn Mix':

You see the distinction. They're just asking for trouble, jumbling elements like that. They need to stick with Snain...because to people in their right mind...this is a 'Wintry Mix':


I said GOOD DAY!

26 keep(s) me blogging:

Rachel said...

Take it easy on the wine, there.

What am I saying? I just tossed down a glass of Chateauneuf-du-pape red, and Its taking every ouce of concentration I have just to type coherently.

Kara said...

rachel - Chateaunwhaa? all i've had today is tea and whatever they put in the Foster. i could totally drive a car if i had one.

Susie Q said...

Kara - so Bananas Fosters French Toast? Eewww, I like brunch for brunch, not dessert. Booze or not, tis still dessert. (Of course anything with booze...)
And I have to point out, your "snain" is perfection! Says it all. In fact isn't brunch, the very meal you ate this very a.m., a combo of breakfast and lunch? Yeah baby! You rock sista.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I can't get a picture of these "hipsters" in my head. I had to look up the word. What makes you think you're not a hipster yourself? I agree it was rude of them to be reading newspapers. I would have put down my paper and said: "Good morning, Miss Kara, your ass is looking particularly un-fat today!"

Kara said...

sue - dessert should be acceptable for every meal. and i'm shocked that more people don't use 'snain'. as you, yourself point out...'brunch' caught on like wildfire.

goranas - left you some illumination on your own blog in case you don't come back here. as for me...someone once told me that they "dabbled" in hipsterdom. i think that's what i do...mainly because i can't be bothered with deciding on one specific style. i'm externally schizophrenic.

froelica said...

I'm sick of this "Wintry Mix" horse pucky. I need SNOW. So much snow that people don't leave their house kinda snow.

The Future said...

I also am sick to death of our "snain". Give me weather that makes a statement instead of this ambiguous folderol. OK, a small part of my comment may originate from borderline, extreme ennui.

Kevin said...

The weather makes me laugh. I'm always on the lookout for a new kind of phrase.

Here in Ohio, Wintry Mix is not a new thing. I've heard it for years. I still don't really know what it is.

Sarah said...

Genius Kara...

Hipsters are taking over P-Town, with their rolled up jeans and unwashed hair and layers of "vintage"* goodwill clothes.

*"vintage" is not meant to mock your vintage glasses. I have $8 thick black rimmed glasses & I'm the FURTHEST thing from hip.

ZenBoomer said...

What is the opposite of "hipsters"? (I'm afraid I might be one.)

Leftoverture said...

I am sure I have told you how ridiculous I think this whole hipster idea is. The term "hipster" actually has been around since the sixties. Origionally it described someone like Bob Dylan circa '65. It was a style that "hip" people addopted. Then the "hipsters" turned into "hippies" which pretty much just meant they stopped bathing and increased the amount of beads on their person. I think the idea of modern "hipsters" is laughable at best. They are basically just people who try really hard to look like they are NOT trying really hard to look like anything...and they have a sense of superiority that makes them assholes. The End.

Orhan Kahn said...

Who the hell sucks rope?

You are one damaged white rose petal.

Kara said...

fro - yeah, so far the 100% chance of snow has yielded nothing but a sunny day downtown. i hear they closed schools for this shit.

future - take up knitting. one-handed knitting.

kevbo - well, now you know. it's Snain.

sarah - maybe that says something about our city's severe black glasses availability issue. maybe we need to import more varieties.

zenboomer - in about 10 years you'll be a "replacement hipster".

kansas - we've already gone over this. over time, words change to become applicable to modern culture. for ex. the word "gay" no longer means what it was originally intended to mean. but don't worry...you're still cute.

thethinker said...

Eww... candy corn.

On the bright side, you won an award.

Kara said...

or - is that a compliment? or do i have to beat you up?

thinker - woah! whatever did i do to deserve this?! don't answer that.

Old Knudsen said...

I'm suffering from a watery mix at the mo.

Now thats what I call music now!25 the wintery mix.

Mary Witzl said...

When I saw 'hipster,' because I am way out of it (and weirdly literally minded, too), I assumed it was people in their sixties. Then I remembered seeing a group of people recently who were really young, but looked just a tiny bit like hippies. They really confused me: for one awful minute I thought they were older than me but somehow able to keep it at bay. Then I realized that they were just kids dressing up as hippies. Hipsters, eh? Weird!

I'll bet they were reading the newspapers instead of interacting because they had nothing to say to one another. Anyone who has to borrow another generation's sense of style -- especially a rather silly one -- would probably have very little to say.

Jill said...

I hate those stupid pumpkin-shaped candy-corn knock-offs. Candy corn is a lame enough candy without adding in other shapes.

P.S. Bananas Foster french toast sounds divine. Mmmm.

AxAtlas said...

i agree with you 100%! hipsters do that shit all the time here. I tend to push hipsters away by reading such books as "The Moral Conditions of Economic Efficiency" and "The Culture of Narcissism"...go figure. I've seen them look at the books and look away in fear. That's right hipsters! I dare you to talk to me!
Regarding the weather, what the fuck is "Frozen Fog"? Isn't that a fuckin' wall of ice? Oh and I don't mind the rain. Makes for nice walks.

Sarah said...

Candy corn is being blasphemed here and someone needs to do something about it.

Mary Witzl said...

I hate almost all candy and eschew junk food, but I adore candy corn even if I haven't had any in ages. Good for you, Sarah. Take a stand.

Jahooni said...

Gosh I have missed you. This was great. Hangover's on weekends? shameful.
Wintry Mix-Pez/CLASSIC.
This made me in a good mood today.

Jackie said...

Freakin' hipsters.

I am planning a couple of 'cemetary photo' posts as well. I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes stuff like that.

Kara said...

knudsen - you should get that seen to.

mary - this is a hipster:
http://www.columbia.edu/cu/thefed/v3/
volume22/0/images/carter_hipster.png
The only thing missing is the pea coat and skull cap.

jill - your comment about my beloved candy corn is overlooked by your agreement that my breakfast was awesome.

ax - Frozen Fog sounds like the one of the missing X-men.

sarah - no fights, please...i have no time to mediate.

mary - no gangs, please...i have no time for interventions.

jahooni - well good moods are almost as good as booze. almost.

jackie - oh you are NOT alone. my bathroom is filled with New Orleans cemetery pics.

theWaif said...

What losers, you're only supposed to do that to strangers on the bus, not to your own friends at brunch. Eh, they're Mercury-readers anyway, what do you expect.

I would be so gay if it really did rain PEZ. As in happy, not "as a whistle." I love PEZ, but not that much.

You STOLE fizzy lifting drinks. (Had to.)

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

You had me at bananas fo...

Great God, what manner of genius thought of bananas foster french toast? I want to marry him today,