Thursday, December 28, 2006

Blog Etiquette

In the interest of fairness, I'm giving you all the link to Amy's response to my angry blog entry from a couple weeks ago.

Now I'm done with it. Movin' on.

7 keep(s) me blogging:

thethinker said...

I hope you don't mind me adding you to my blogroll. Nice blog you have here.

The Big Sister said...

Kara - Thank you for posting a link to Amy's response. I have read what you've written and all the comments to go with it, and honestly I have cried through a few of them. This has been a very hard few months for our family. I'm not sure if your family is like ours or not, but our uncle was not some guy we sent a Christmas card to every year, he was our dads brother. A lot of my memories growing up was with him and our cousins. He was 2 years older than my dad, he had 2 kids 26 and 23. I haven't been sad so much for myself, but for them, my dad and cousins. I couldn't imagine losing Amy ever, or my dad at this age. Our uncle, to us, was an immediate member of the family, not extended. I am proud of Amy for leaving that day. If it were me, there is no way I would have gone. Amy didn't use his dying as an 'excuse' to come home and our mom didn't call the airlines and use that 'excuse' to change her ticket, it was the REASON. And while Amy was in Morocco, we needed her, she didn't just need us. She also needed to be with people that would let her cry, she didn't have that there. I know that your upset, but it was just a vacation. Amy didn't just leave, she asked if you could both could go into Europe and her leave from there, so you wouldn't be left in a third world country alone, but you didn't want that. If it were the other way around, I don't think that Amy would have said or posted this much about you on a public website.

Kara said...

thethinker - of course you may, I'll add you too.

the big sister - I wanted to let this go, but it seems this needs to be addressed. And since I don't have your name or email address, it will have to be here. Your defense of Amy is understandable but there needs to be some things set straight here. My anger wasn't about a ruined vacation. I had a great vacation. My anger was that the one person I had in the entire country left me there because she thought it was the right thing for her to do. I would never do that to a friend, so the tables would never be turned, and even Moroccan people were shocked and concerned that I was there by myself...maybe that gives you an idea of what that could have meant danger-wise.

2nd. The death in the family got her a plane ticket home, but since I had no such excuse, and excuse is what the airline would call it, my mother had to pay over $2,000. That is what that meant.

3rd. In no way am I trying to attack her. I tried to support her every step of the way with sympathy, but I also tried to help her enjoy the trip and not miss out on stuff, if that was insensitive, I'm sorry. I've also defended her at every turn to family, friends, and complete strangers. But when I relayed my anger to her, she didn't respond and so it bottled up and this is where it exploded. I will not apologize for that.

4th. The European suggestion you mention never happened. I'm not sure where you got that. I did say that if she had to leave that's her choice, but I couldn't. I wanted to try and stick it out. This terrified my family so I let them bring me home a couple days early.

5th. The death of her uncle was incredibly tragic, and I'm sorry for it. But she made the decision to go that day, and when she did, she made a commitment to me. When it got hard, she just quit on me. Her uncle's passing was not the only reason she went home and if she's honest with herself and you, then maybe she'll tell you what those reasons were.

If this response causes any more problems, I'm sorry. But I was never trying to be callous. I love Amy. I still love Amy. But none of you understand what it was like being abandoned like that. I thought I could let it go without talking about it, but I couldn't and I let it burst one night. I'm sorry for that. Amy needed to burst too, and now she has. It's over with. I'm moving on.

Devon said...

So my response to this matter can best be summed up in this link

Orhan Kahn said...


The Future said...

I will never read what Amy wrote, or anyone else. Short of being on death's door herself, there was no reasonable or warranted excuse for abandoning you in that country...period.

Laura said...

Okay. As the "other" big sister, I feel compelled to speak my piece. Let's just put the shoe on the other foot here... If it were Kara doing the leaving in Morocco, I'm sure you would have been livid that she abandoned your sister there. I don't care if it had been our mom who'd died or if Amy had been the most experienced traveler ever, it was plain and simply the wrong thing to do and I would not have supported my sister in that decision.

Yes, you needed Amy there with you to grieve with you all, but it wasn't an immediate necessity. At that immediate time, in the middle of Morocco, Kara needed her a lot more. I can understand being defensive of one's sibling, but leaving Kara stranded was the wrong decision. Period. And as her big sister, if Kara had done the same to Amy, I would have encouraged her to apologize (at the very least!) for breaking her responsibility to her friend and abandoning her in a potentially dangerous situation.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest.