Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I Keep Cutting Off The Top Of Kansas' Head

What's up, people? I'm watching TV. It's Daily Show time. I'm not even sure if I have the dual attention span required to blog. We'll see.

So I see that England has pulled through despite the powerful hoodoo curse. Yes...that's what I think caused the great Great Britain flooding...hoodoo. I think two years after Katrina with almost no tangible restitution some hoodoo priests and priestesses got together to curse the pastiest country they could think of. Behold...the power of bedevilment.

A year ago around this time I posted a post, that I won't bother with going back to find, with a picture of just of my legs and a beer...the beer being held up by my legs, obviously...at an outdoor concert. I've decided to make that an annual thing. From now on, it's not summer until I post a picture of my knees holding up a beer in a park. There's no tradition like a new tradition.

This year I was wearing a skirt and I didn't shave my legs that day (it was a Sunday, get off my back) so it's about the least attractive angle I can possibly imagine...but I can hold the season back no longer. It will be announced. And so, without further ado...I give you, the official announcement of summer:

It appears as though those knees have never seen the light of day. Well you're not far off.

That Dutch beer tasted just like Pabst. Seriously.

18 keep(s) me blogging:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Holy snake eyes! Kansas is a dead ringer for the great Christopher Guest in Best in Show. Nice polka dot skirt, Miss. Would you consider posting a full length photo in that skirt, wearing a ribbon in your hair and sucking a lollipop?

Macoosh said...

i can totally see the christopher guest thing. :)

you're just as pale as i am; maybe you need to move over here to the pasty islands of england/ireland. do it...we have beer.

nic said...

Thank you for the It is now Summer announcement. And here I was feeling mopey because it's August. YAY!

apterix55 said...

I can lie on my back and balance a can of beer on my stomach. But I notice now that every summer the can is getting more and more out of reach!

Jill said...

You shave your legs EVERY day??

Susie Q said...

Pabst is not technically beer, (in my humble opinion).
Beer must have:
A. flavor (Pabst has none)
B. color ('tis the color of piss)
C. (and most importantly) "alkeehol"
'Nuff said.

Kara said...

goranas - listen you ol' lech...no lollipops!

macoosh and goranas - yes, he's constantly biting his lips and never smiles at the camera so it's impossible to capture him looking normal...or NOT like Christopher Guest.

macoosh - sure...that's all i need.

nic - yeah...i'm glad i finally figured out what was missing from all of our lives, right?

apterix - that's fast becoming my reality as well.

jill - not EVERY day...but I TRY to when I know I'm going to wear a skirt...and take a picture of my legs...sometimes.

sue - hey now...no snobbery aloud! beer is beer is beer...and it's ALL glorious. except for stout.

slaghammer said...

It looks sunny there and the grass is green. I’m hearing predictions that the Northwest will be covered by windswept sand dunes in the near future. That rumor is beginning to sound plausible now that the wasteland in which I was born has bloomed into a veritable tropical rainforest. I agree with your hoodoo theory.

Kara said...

slag - sand dunes are a kick in the pants! i climbed a 450ft one in the sahara! maybe if oregon goes that route i'll finally losing some fucking weight!

and i'm glad you agree with my theory...cause it's RIGHT!

AxAtlas said...

Ya you cut off Kansas' head. I just see Wichita, Topeka, Lawrence and Overland Park...okey, bad joke. I know this.
So are you practicing going through labor with a beer can?

yinyang said...

You mean this post? You shouldn't have mentioned it if you didn't want me to go and find it. :P

C said...

It's funny, but I was saying the same thing about hoodoo ladies to my cousin the other day. Except I figured the hoodoo ladies would put roots on the Bush administration. If they have, Dick Cheney must have countered it with something way more powerful and malevolent because he and Bush just came through surgeries without incident. As if Dick Cheney weren't scary enough. *Shudder*

Orhan Kahn said...

That picture shouldn't turn me on but it does. I think its the fact that you're drinking larger.

That is all.

Sarah said...

I miss beer, of any flavor. When will this pregnancy end???

Kara said...

ax - no...i'm practicing using both hands to shove food in my mouth.

yinny - yes, well, you fell for my EEEEEVIL plan to have someone do all the work for me. who feels silly NOW?

c - no fucking kidding! how hard is it to just make a little slip with a scalpel, right? 2 seconds...problem solved. we're in the wrong business. at least i am. but i bet you are too.

or - drinking "larger" or "lager"?

sarah - all pregnancies end after approximately nine months. strange...i would've thought you'd known this, having gone through two before. it must be all those drugs you snort.

AxAtlas said...

Well then why can't you just set your beer down? Or you can just have Kansas hold your beer for you...or have him feed you the food...no wait that's not cool. You cut off part of his head. It's bad enough he has to sit bitch on your bike.

froelica said...

I'll have none of your stout-bashery!!!

Orhan Kahn said...

FFS. I was tired. Only had five hours sleep when I made that comment.

(FFS = for fucks sake; just so we're clear)