Friday, November 17, 2006

Face Off

I refuse to switch to the new blogger. You hear me? REFUSE!

Was on the bus yesterday and this guy with one rotten tooth was all, "Excuse me, do you work at Dantes?" (local bar/music venue).
And I'm all, "No." (and then laugh condescendingly).
And then he's all, "Are you sure? (world's stupidest question...yes, I'm sure asshole) I'm not hitting on you or anything, but there's this girl who works there that looks just like you. Like...you could be twins".
And then I'm all "Yeah, I get that a lot".
And he goes "Seriously, just like you..." (launches into description of what could be ANYONE).


The point of the glorious dialogue above is this...I have the world's most common face. You wouldn't believe how often the above conversation happens to me. Usually within 10 minutes of meeting me, people have someone they can compare me with. I'm just like their roommate in college, or their cousin's wife, or the mentally ill woman on the corner of such and such who screams the fortunes from fortune cookies at passing cars. Usually I find it amusing, but sometimes, it's just plain creepy. I had some guy follow me around an Urban Outfitters once because he SWORE I was someone he went to school with. Don't you think I'd KNOW where I went to school? Honestly!

My neighbor-who-smokes-a-pipe-but-looks-way-too-young-to-be-smoking-a-pipe is moving out too. So then it's just going to be The Vampire and The Sorority chick in the building, at least until the Vampire sucks her dry too. Alas. Hopefully it will implode of its own volition. Can a building have its own volition? It should. If it could feel it should be manically depressed. Either way, once I'm out, I won't care a fig what happens to it. A FIG, I say!

I took some cough syrup last night for my...well...cough...but I think I took it too late in the night. It has Vicadin in it and I had a really hard time waking up and have felt a little drunk all day. It was really bad until I shoved some lunchtime sushi down my own throat. With chopsticks.

Anyway, my coworkers have been mocking. I suppose it's well deserved. Everyone knows how dangerous doing e-mail advertising can be when you're on the sauce. But I didn't know it would last this long! And it tasted like citrus fruit candy! Damnit!

16 keep(s) me blogging:

Anonymous said...

cough syrup makes me so loopy i can't take it...it's weird.

also, are you refusing to switch to the new blogger just to be a nonconformist? because i support non conformity, but the new blogger is pretty awesome. that and eventually they'll switch you over themselves, so you either switch or get a blog somewhere else. at least that's what i've heard. anyway, my point is, i think you should switch and you can be non conformist about.... pants...instead.

do with that what you will. :)
-macoosh:)

sarah said...

You look like Molly Ringwald.

Orhan Kahn said...

Let us unite in our refusal to change to the new Blogger!

We can call ourselves AssDue. Catchy, huh?

Anonymous said...

oh, wait, you look like molly ringwald? lol people tell me i look like molly ringwald...or at least they did in high school... i think it's the hair...anyway, my point is, if that's the case, then we both look like everyone else. :)

Emily Powell said...

That is so funny that people think you always look like someone they know - because I've always thought you have a very unique look! But I have known you for like 13 years - so that could be the problem!!

AxAtlas said...

I commented on this yesterday but it went bye-bye. I guess this will do.

froelica said...

It's funny you mentioned that you refuse to switch because each time I sign on I become more and more annoyed by the thing that tries to entice me to switch. It's like my cell phone. I refuse to get a picture phone/ anything modern looking. I'm going for the Zack Morris/ Saved by the Bell look.
Goddamn youngsters and their blasted technology.

Anonymous said...

I refused for awahile also, but threatened with uncontrolled change scared me, so I did. I survived, too.
Vicodin is neat.

Emily Powell said...

I refuse to change as well.... mostly because I don't want to have to get yet another account.... I feel spread thin enough with all these different pages I feel like I have to venture to each time I log onto my laptop....

Oh and cough medicine sucks.... it doesn't work.... all it does is make me sleepy -which I suppose is good - but honestly I just want to feel better and NOW!!!

d said...

are you feeling better yet?

Anonymous said...

white christmas rocks.

agreed.

Kara said...

macoosh - fine. FINE!

sarah - you've said this for years, but we both know it's NEVER been true.

Orhan - AssDue...ha! you gonna make us t-shirts?

macoosh again - But I don't...that's the problem

emily - thank???? but see, now if you meet someone like me THEY'LL remind you of ME and not the other way around.

ax - uh huh.

froelica - youngsters?? don't say that, you make me feel old. that and the fact that i'm wearing a sweater dress today

inamini - fine. FINE!

emily again - and i always forget my passwords...always.

d - yes i do, as a matter of fact...you?

macoosh AGAIN - there were NEVER such devoted sisters.

Laura said...

It must run in the family, the whole looking-like-someone-else thing. I got told by the sales guy at Video Only just the other day that I am the spitting image of his wife's OBGYN who can't have children herself but has wonderful bedside manner. He insisted we could be twins. I assured him otherwise. Isn't it peculiar how many people of no relation look like each of us when we look nothing like each other? One of those mysteries of life, I suppose...

slaghammer said...

I don't look like anybody. I have been told that I have "kind" hair. The "kind" that grows on a baboon's ass.

The Future said...

First of all, if you've been misidentified 100 times, it's happened to me at least 200. And, until you have been told you remind them of someone's grandmother, I won't feel sorry for you!
Second, I have no doubt that the more than substantial mold in your previous apartment has its own volition, all you have to do is turn your back.

Orhan Kahn said...

T-shirts, on there way. Stat!