Crock Pots Are A Crock

Is no one else alarmed by the idea that something can take a full 8 hours to cook? Doesn't that seem like an exorbitant amount of time? For anything. And who figured this out before the whole invention of the crock pot? Who sat over a pot and stirred chicken on a low flame for 8 hours? Is that seriously what women did before earning the right to vote? Fuck. No wonder they were willing to march in corsets.

It was really quite stupid to try to cook in a crock pot on a Sunday in the heat of the summer. It's up there with baking cookies. Mmmm, cookies. What was I talking about? Oh...meat. Anyway...it freaks my shit out that these ingredients sit and stew in their own botchulistic juices. Of course that's a word. And then we eat them and don't die. Fascinating.

So I took the job. I'm moving into Account Management in a week. I'm officially a whore for money. All principles thrown out the window at the prospect of being able to afford a home of my own someday. What's happened to me? What happened to the girl who could pack up two suitcases and move across the country or throw on a backpack and hit Europe like she owned it? Well...I'll tell you one thing...the exchange rate happened. This war has been a bitch for tourism. Could that have sounded any more callous and selfish? Probably not.

What can I say, you know? I have needs. Footwear needs. Student Loan Repayment needs. Laptop needs. Paid PTO needs. I've sold out and become a fucking adult. Please don't read that as a verb. This promotion has been the hardest decision I've had to make in a long time. I've been with my company for almost 4 years and I hate who they are, what they do and what they stand for (which is not fucking much other than lining their own poorly dresses pockets). But I left teaching preschool because I couldn't make a living wage. And now I make a living wage and I can't seem to be satisfied with that. I want it to go up and up. I want to keep up with the Jones'...and I secretly despise myself for it. And yet, here I am. I bought $20 shampoo yesterday. Like my toddler hair is worth it.

Sorry for the mood. I've been listening to a lot of Jeff Buckley lately and Kansas has had to be away a lot for work. The two are a lethal combination for even the most high-spirited. I need a good long night out of dancing. Release some endorphins or some junk. It might feel good to get out and judge some people. It's always uplifting to point out those who are "not up to code". You know?