Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Two Movie Reviews and a "Suck It"

Many years ago I met my friend Brynn. Though we’d been going to school for 3 years together, we met in France, the month before I graduated from college. Well, it was actually THE month I graduated, but whatever. We’ve been friends ever since, even though I left New Orleans and she stayed. We share the same taste in things. Always a good basis for a friendship. Anyway, I think we were talking Shakespeare one day and how Hamlet’s always been my favorite. She insisted that I needed to see Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. And it's so great, blah, blah blah.

It took me until last night to fulfill that request. That’s 5 years. The tr
agedy of it all is, if she’d just added “it has Gary Oldman and Tim Roth at their hottest”, I would’ve seen it much sooner. Alas. Alack.

It’s very obviously a stage play turned film. Normally I hate that, but these two make it work. There’s a lot of surprisingly funny physical comedy, but the writing…oh the writing. I’m putting some quotations below because I love them so. And paraphrasing is a sin. So, maybe I’m 17 years late, and everyone’s already seen it…but you all can suck it. Read them. Unless you haven’t seen it. You must, you must.

I knew it was going to be gold with this little convo (which I managed to steal off of imdb.com):
Rosencrantz (Oldman): Another curious scientific phenomenon is the fact that the fingernails grow after death, as does the beard.
Guildenstern (Roth): What?
Rosencrantz: Beard.
Guildenstern: But you're not dead.
Rosencrantz: I didn't say they only started to grow after death. The fingernails also grow before birth - though not the beard.
Guildenstern: What?
Rosencrantz: BEARD! What's the matter with you?
[pause]
Rosencrantz: The toenails, on the other hand, never grow at all.
Guildenstern: The toenails on the other FOOT never grow at all.
Rosencrantz: ...no.


However…this bit was the prize. This scene slayed me. And I'll be damned if it doesn't slay all of you:

Rosencrantz (Oldman): Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it?
Guildenstern (Roth): No.
Rosencrantz: Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never *know* you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, "I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?" naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well, at least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out."
[bangs on lid]
Rosencrantz: "Hey you! What's your name? Come out of there!"
Guildenstern: [long pause] I think I'm going to kill you.


The third one that I was going to post just happened to be posted on YouTube in the form of a clip. Best comeback ever. Here you can plainly see the hotness. And the timing. And the hotness. I said that already, didn't I. Oh the joy!





***********************************************

And now…onto the much belated praising of The Darjeeling Limited. I saw it opening weekend, but have been too lazy to tell you up until now. What I’ve been telling people is that it met my expectations, though it did not exceed them. Now, I must add that my expectations are generally set on high when it comes to Wes Anderson films. So all in all…I'm comfortable with using the word "greatness". The dialog was magnificent. The acting superb. As with all of his films, he does a fantastical job of interlacing humor through a plot outlining human tragedy. Angelica Huston was creepy-looking. And Bill Murray…well, you’ll just have to see him for yourself. And I didn’t even hate Adrien Brody as I am prone to. My friends all think he’s hot. I’m convinced that he snores. You wouldn’t think that those are related…but you’d be wrong.

The details were beautiful, down to the luggage. As I understand it, there was very little in the way of make-up and wardrobe on the set…and yet the characters were as stylized as they have been in all of his past films. It’s a style I long to replicate but never seem to be able to. You can never tell exactly what era it’s supposed to be and I love that. I’m a huge fan of vaguery. Yes, it’s a word. It’s my word.

And as is his way, Kinks songs flit in and out of scenes like magical sleet. In case you’re wondering, I’m a huge Kinks fan. Have been forevs. Well, early Kinks. The stuff they tried to do in the 80s was shit. The songs help with the vaguery of the era. See how well that word works? Yes, you can use it too.

I could go on and start really sounding pompous and nitpicky, but I won’t. I’ll just put a picture here designed to inspire. Go see it. Tell me what you think. It’s not for everyone. Just for the people I like. No pressure.

12 keep(s) me blogging:

Mary Witzl said...

We had to read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern back in high school and that sadly ruined it for me. I remember seeing part of it again in my thirties and thinking it was marvelous. I ought to see the whole thing, really.

Just noticed that you've cited A Confederacy of Dunces as your favorite book. That book was virtually the ONLY book my husband and I had in common when we first met. We discussed it to pieces, we were so grateful to have at least one book in common.

Rachel said...

thats two more movies I must add to my rent now list....*sigh*

so much stress...

The Future said...

Someone told me about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern ages ago but I promptly forgot about it so will have to hit the old Netflix site again.

Whatever happened to the making of the A Confederacy of Dunces movie? I thought that should have been completed and released long ago.

Gorilla Bananas said...

It matched your expectations after you sneak previewed all the best scenes on You Tube? It must be good. And you must really have a thing for English actors if you find Tim Roth remotely hot.

Jackie said...

R&G Are Dead is one of my favorite plays as well as one of my favorite movies. I saw it back in 10th grade and fell in love with Gary Oldman - that scene where he keeps almost getting out of the tub? Sigh.

I need to see Darjeeling. I love me some Wes Anderson, and even if they're not as good as "Rushmore" or "The Royal Tenenbaums", his movies are so different from most other movies out there that I can't help but enjoy myself.

Jill said...

I know I'm a freak, but....I've always thought Adrien Brody was hot.

Did I say that out loud?

Macoosh said...

R&G was one of my favorite plays in high school, made even moreso after I saw the movie. It still holds a special place in my heart...especially the box monologue. It's pure brillance.

I haven't seen the darjeeling limited. but i agree 100% about adrien brody. a few years back he was in a dream i had and the whole time i just kept asking him, who ARE you?!?! and in the dream his nose was obnoxiously huge. and he played the piano and smoked a pipe.

Kara said...

mary - you must see it again. i insist.
as for "dunces"...you have no idea how many people i've tried to force into reading that book only to be disappointed by them never finishing it or finishing it and not liking it. i felt so alone until you came.

rachel - viewing manhotness relieves stress. totally true, scientists (me) have done studies (watched lots of movies).

future - i'll be reviewing your netflix queue to be sure you don't procrastinate.
i dunno what happened to "dunces". i heard "will farrell" and then nothing.

goranas - he is. and i do. yum.

jackie - ahhh the tub. that scene was SUCH a tease. yeah, my adoration for the man goes way back. what's wacky is, he's really not that good looking. but he IS too. inexplicable.

jill - YOU'RE not the freak, apparently i am. but, you know, that's ok. you all can have him. leaves Oldman open for the taking.

macoosh - but did he SNORE?

froelica said...

Of course Tim Roth is hot! Not as hot as Gary Oldman, but who the fuck is? That gorilla must have bad vision.

Kara said...

fro - seriously. and you have fabulous taste in brits, m'dear. fabulous.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Gary Oldman - hot. Tim Roth - hot. Adrian Brody - tepid. Luke Wilson - lukewarm, obviously.

Tom Stoppard is a genius plain and simple. I've read that play a few times and by some spooky happenstance I happen to have recorded it on TiVo the other night to watch this weekend. Can't wait. I'll get a bottle of something yummy in too.

Gary Oldman. *plink* That was the sound of my sensibilities breaking, thawing and resolving themselves into a sea of goo.

Laura said...

Anything Wes Anderson touches is pure gold, as far as I'm concerned. His AMEX commercial is my favorite commercial ever. My favorite line from said commercial is when Anderson shouts: "CUT! Not enough smoke and the snow was too loud." The man is brilliant. Witness the master of vaguery:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spCknVcaSHg