Monday, August 14, 2006

LOOK AT ME!!!

Everyone see my pretty new blog? I've already been informed by some that people with loser MACs have to view it in Firefox and not Safari because otherwise the dots get all crazy-like. But I say you deserve it for owning a MAC. Shame on you.

Have I mentioned that I'm pretty sure my upstairs neighbor is a vampire?
I haven't held a mirror up to his face or anything, mainly because I wouldn't dare get that close...he might bite me...but I will try to snap a picture when I think he isn't looking. But then he might see it on here and hunt me down. And there's nowhere I can hide because the layout of his apartment is exactly the same as mine. Damnit!

He's a HUGE man with long stringy hair and a fu manchu that reaches to the middle of his chest. I do believe he grooms it, because it always comes to a perfect point. I wonder what kind of gel he uses? I sure as hell can't get that kind of control from any of my regular products.

He's always wearing a blue dress shirt with a black vest and black pants and shoes. Depending on the weather he may or may not sport a long black trenchcoat (vampires are so sterotypical, I mean really who does he think he's fooling? I'd respect a cloak more). The clinching tidbit of evidence is...he never sleeps. It doesn't matter if I'm up at 9 am or 3 am...he's always pacing back and forth upstairs. It's so WEIRD. Sometimes he has a girl visit him...but she hasn't been back for a while so I assume that he's drained her and dumped her body in the river. Yesterday there was an old man visitor carrying a black leather brief case. Who visits someone on a Sunday with a brief case? I bet there was a stake in it.

10 keep(s) me blogging:

Jen said...

Ok, this guy sounds more like a Regal Cinemas worker with a meth habit and an old grandpa who can't let go of the corporate world that visits on Sundays. Did you ever think of that? Hmm? Such judgement...

Laura said...

Stakes are for werewolves. Or is that silver bullets? I can't recall. Couldn't hurt to stock up on garlic though.

So if your upstairs neighbor is a vampire, does that mean there could be other strange monster people living in your apartment complex? Like the naked shaving guy across from your kitchen window. Maybe he's really a witch. Or a body-snatching alien. Or worse *gasp*... a nudist hippy!

AxAtlas said...

I did enjoy trying to make out the words from your blog on my mac...it's almost like a stereogram. So why the hating of mac users? Why the vicious assault? You're jealous aren't ya? Jealous of how simple and reliable the mac os is and the whole lack of viruses dealio. Are those mac and pc commercials gettin' to ya??? They should missy! We mac users are the mac daddies! (Gawd that was lame). Moving on...
Oh and I'm sure your vampire neighbor is a swell guy. Invite him over for tea and Buffy episode viewings...maybe he's a sleepwalker. You gots anything against sleepwalkers??? You gonna be all up on their grill as well?

d said...

i think the proper thing to do would be to send him a subtle message that tells him you're not intimidated. for example... shove a stake into a one of those heart shaped valentine chocolate boxes with a note attached that says "i know what you are and i'm ready for you."

he'll either get the message because he is a vampire and knows the damage you'll do with that stake, or, he'll get the wrong message because he isn't a vampire and just thinks you're freaky-kinky and you have the hots for him. either way, i don't see any potential problems with this plan.

Kara said...

jen - yes, yours sounds SO much more logical. whatever

laura - bullets are for werewolves. you better hope you're never attacked or you're screwed

ax - shut it!

d - i'll get a picture of him on here damnit and then you'll realize how insulting that insinuation really was. my taste is so much better.

Justin said...

Now wait just a darn minute!

If he is a vampire and you take his picture, he won't be in it? Therefore, how can he say that you were taking a picture of him? It could just as easily be a see-through mannequin at Abercrombie and Fitch!

Justin
More Cowbell

Thérèse said...

Ooooh, I very much like the look. Very retro. Very snazzy.

Also, vampires are cool. They're very handy when you can't find the can opener.

niall said...

Have you seen interview with a vampire? I don't know if it will help you in the least, but I liked the film.

Did your 'Hair', always have the hair over it?

The safest thing to do is to ingest garlic as often as possible, and do not date him. That can only end badly.

Kara - you cannot get a picture of vampires! It's the whole mirror/reflection thing. Ever read 'the far side'? I'm thinking of the 'You're reflecting' strip :)

I don't like the dots. I think it's kinda like your infactuation with my boxes around the comments :/

niall said...

By the way, I made you an account, Kara, so if you want the details of how to login, email me. You have my email, right?

Orhan Kahn said...

Why does August of 2006 feel so long ago :|