Monday, August 28, 2006

No Boy Wants A Sarcastic Girl

My mother once told me that boys don't like mean girls. What I think she meant was boys don't marry mean girls. In which case, she's probably right, but I'm prepared. Marriage is over-rated anyway...like Tarantino films. Besides, I've got my back-up "become a cat lady and live next door to my equally mean and future cat lady best friend" plan at the ready, so I'm all set.

But the fact of the matter is...boys DO like mean girls. The fun ones do, anyway. We're novelties. We' challenge them. But eventually, we're like Arrested Development...we get canceled by the third season because at the end of the day people would rather not have to think while they're being entertained. Assholes.

I know what you're all thinking...you're thinking uh oh, Kara got dumped again...or at the very least, realized that her latest boy toy is a drip. But I assure you this is not the case. The latest boy toy is a blast. But it's just that...he's a toy...and he will remain a toy as long as he lives in the land of patchouli and birkenstocks (for all of you who don't know much about Oregon...that would be Eugene).

I was just thinking about all this relationship stuff yesterday as I was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (best movie ever) with a chum and eating Popeye's fried chicken for the first time since I left New Orleans FOUR YEARS AGO (welcome home, friend). There's no real relevance there...and that's what makes this good writing. Subjectivity can suck it!

Anyway, I'm not sure what my point was. But if I knew, I'm sure you'd all agree that it was a very poignant one. Oh yeah, I'm going to be alone forever...that was it. Damn.

10 keep(s) me blogging:

Jen said...

Can I park my Winnebago behind your house? I'll have about 34 cats by then, and if my cats mingle with your cats, well, we're gonna have a lot of cats. What are you going to do about your allergies? Will you don a Michael Jackson-esque mask? Will you have whiskers painted on it?

INAMINI said...

I was sure that no man would ever want to marry me, yet one did. I'm still becoming a cat lady, even though B is allergic (we wash a lot of cats.) I have three, and I can count higher!
I will be in Portland this weekend-maybe I'll see ya!

Laura said...

The real point is that you have a fear of committment. That's always the answer to any relationship problem. I learned that from the movies. And everyone knows all movies are true. Hobbits are real, you know.

In other news, I made a kick-ass blackberry pie this weekend. It seriously could kick your ass. It's really that good. I named it Bruce...Bruce Lee Pie.

The end.

Kevin said...

Popeye's fried chicken???? Now I'll never be able to take you seriously again.

Devon said...

I am an anomoly then because I'm not a fan of mean girls... not for dating anyway. Smart and opinionated is one thing. Mean is different. But above all else, boys want girlfriends/ wives that like good movies. No amount of cat litter stink can cover up the fact that Quentin Tarantino makes unique, darkly funny, action packed (i hate that phrase) movies.

ps i have only eaten popeye's once, and will never eat it again. i'm sure you remember the episode.

Kara said...

Jen - of course. I have a pre-planned driveway with your name spray paint-stenciled on it

inamini - I highly doubt you're mean enough to warrant being alone forever...therefore...of course someone wanted to marry you. Oh, and I'll be the one drunk by the waterfront...HAPPY LABOR DAY!

laura - you know how i feel about your relationship advice

kevin - i'm sorry...when were you taking me seriously??? hater.

devon - i'm not mean to YOU. at least not until I post that second grade picture of you in the sweater vest...you know what i'm talking about.

and YES, I do remember that episode. we were but children then.

sarah said...

Kara, Kara Kara. How many times do I need to tell you? Men don't care about whether or not you're nice to them. You have a great rack and that's all that matters.

Amy said...

Well, let's combine some of these comments... Laura says all truth comes from movies, Devon says a woman just needs to appreciate fin cinema, and Sarah says a nice rack matters most. So here you go:

Harriet: What do you look for in a woman you date?
Charlie: Well, I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size.

It all works out rather nicely.

Mycaelus said...

You know, breast size never mattered to me.

Crazy people.

Cats are a plus, though. Or dogs. Dogs are good.

Niall Tarantino said...

How could you say that about Tarantino?! Even if you did do a course on film. My Dad hates cats. I'm not all that fond of them either. But Tarantino ... I can't understand that. What's wrong with his films?