I got maybe an hour of sleep last night. Curse you summer...curse you.So I look like ass, I'm drinking coffee, which I never do because it makes me feel crazy. So now I'm also feeling crazy. I don't match, my skirt is too big and looks like something out of my mother's closet, my hair wasn't dried and therefore resembles an unkept toddler head, and I've still got 7 hours of work left. Oh god.
Someone told me yesterday that you know you have a drinking problem if you drink alcohol at breakfast on a weekday. I'm fairly certain I've done that at some point. After far too much drinking last week, I decided not to have any alcohol at all yesterday. Then at 11:30 pm I realized that I'd forgotten my little pact halfway through a Corona. Which sparked the "am I an alcoholic?" convo. Which sparked the "you know you have a drinking problem..." tidbit. I've decided that I will make no decision about my status as a possible alcoholic until one or all of the following things happen:
a. I get interventioned by friends who I thought drank with the same frequency I do
b. I wake up with a man in my bed who's name I cannot remember (so far, so good)
c. I am swayed either way by a commentor on this blog other than my sister
d. I decide that I really do look good in blue eye shadow
I live in terror of 'd'.
14 keep(s) me blogging:
I have some blue eyeshadow for you... And you don't look like ass, but you are wearing your grandma sandles. It evens out.
You should live in fear of your future nephew coming to know you as Crazy Aunt Boozer. I can hear him now..."Why does Auntie walk crookedways?"
Yahoo, you've over 1000 hits ... just thought you'd like to know that.
Having suffered through insomnia for a few months during and through my final exams in school, I can say this - it is hell.
I also found eye shadow in work today. I just remembered that. i took it home too for my dragging! (not)
what is "d" and why are you so terrified of it? is this some type of code? hey wait! naaah, can't be me. i'm not frightening at all.
i remember this crack whore who used to live across the street before they tore the crack house down. her name was crazy louise. (well, maybe that wasn't her proper name, but it's what i called her.) so anyway, one day crazy louise walked all crookedways across the street and came up close to me and said something crazy. then i said "hey louise, you're crazy. i think it's time you got off the crack."
and she said "yeah, well, i think it's time you got off the booze." so then i said "uhhh, i don't drink louise." and then she goes "oh."
so then i'm like "i gotta go louise." and she said "stop calling me louise. my name's krista!" ...ah crazy louise... that girl's alright.
so you see, there are worse things than being an alcoholic. there's being accused of being an alcoholic. and also being a crack whore. that's worse too.
I don't think you have a drinking problem. Although I am concerned that your purple eye shadow is starting to lean toward a blue hue.
Just remember, alcoholics don't sit and wonder whether or not they have a drinking problem... they just wonder where their next drink is.
Here's the screening test we learned in medical school to help recognize people who may be alcoholics and should take tests with higher degrees of certainty to confirm:
1) Have you ever made an attempt to cut back on your drinking?
2) Are you ever annoyed when people ask you about your drinking problem?
3) Do you ever feel guilty about your drinking?
4) Have you ever needed or wanted a drink to get you started in the morning?
If you answer two or more of these as "yes", let me know and I can point you in the direction of more accurate tests.
jen - i bet you do, and that's why you rock
laura - yeah, that's probably how it will be
niall - i know you don't know the difference between eye shadow and lipstick
d - anyone named "krista" should automatically go by "crazy louise" as a rule
amy - it's not "purple"...it's called "vixen"
justin - oh justin...you really think i'd answer any of those honestly? as a doctor you should understand the glories of denial.
niall - i know you don't know the difference between eye shadow and lipstick
I do too know the difference between them! As I said on my site (check it out everyone here if you're interested, number 324). See, as I said, 'lip stick makes your lips stickey, and eye shadow makes the light not reflect off your eye lids.'.Ha
I can't believe you drank coffee! I thought you didn't like to sha...nevermind. So really you're one of those people!
I just thought of something. Maybe what you really live in fear of is yourself mixing up lipstick and eyeshadow, so you put red lipstick on your eyes, and blue eyeshadow on your lips.
You may want to change your choice of beer if you want to be a hard assed, blue eyeshawdowed alchie. Rolling Rock just doesn't cut it.
I followed a link from a webcomic to get to this blog, and the first thing I see is a bit of local deliciousness. How is it that you used a picture of the Gimme! coffee espresso cup? Have you been there? Are they branching out to the west coast? I'm in Ithaca, NY, where Gimme! started. Their coffee is the best damn coffee I've ever tasted!
S in Ithica - no no...it hasn't come here, I just took the image from Google Images. If it came here it would be beaten to death by Stumptown coffee...Portland's violent equivalent.
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