Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Suicide is Painless

I spent last night lying awake with the M*A*S*H theme, helicopter sounds and all, running through my head...the show, not the movie. Would you believe I've never seen the movie? And I call myself a Robert Altman fan...I know, I know...for shame.

Anyway, I'd had the world's shittiest day...well, couldn't really call it a day since I never left my desk, but still, you get the idea. And despite the fact that I needed to get up at the crack of dawn this morning...I could NOT get the melody to stop going around and around. And if you've ever heard the song (if not, go here), you'd know how melancholy it sounds. So I start focusing on all the bad things in the world. Of course, it doesn't help that the title is "Suicide is Painless" (which, consequently, is the most ironic theme title to a syndicated television dramady ever. Ever!).

So around and around it goes...late into the night...I try listening to BBC World News, even more depressing...I try listening to Coast to Coast, alien abductions turn out to be even more depressing, I poke my cat for a while (if I can't sleep, why should she), I try to finish Crime and Punishment...yeah, combined with the internal soundtrack...well, let's just say Prozac wouldn't have made a dent at that point.

And so...I got up in the wee hours and made hashbrowns. Potatoes are like chocolate to me. I don't know what it is about carbohydrates...starches, specifically...they're magical. No wonder Irish people are the happiest people on earth. All those potatoes. What? That's not true? Screw you...it is TOO! Ok, maybe it's not...but it should be. Rest was mine at last.

So kids...the lesson here is...hashbrowns are really the only way to battle the M*A*S*H theme. Words to live by. The end.

19 keep(s) me blogging:

d said...

i watched M*A*S*H today at lunch. so what's my point?

Mycaelus said...

I'll go stock up on some potatoes, then. You can never be too careful when it comes to M*A*S*H theme battles.

Amy said...

I really prefer M*A*S*H the movie to the TV show. It is just so well done I can't say enough wonderful things about it.

Maybe what kept you up was the guilt of never having seen the movie. So I think your only safeguard from having this happen again is to run out and watch it.

And if you want to get into the trult depressing... the lyrics to "Suicide is Painless" were written by Mike Altman, Robert Altman's 14-year old son. Seems he may have made more money from that song than his father did for the movie.

Kara said...

d - what IS your point?

mycaelus - not just any potatoes...HASHBROWNS!

amy - we'll have to take care of that this weekend...before hitting the pool...won't we??

INAMINI said...

kara- are you sure that just hashbrowns work- would M*A*S*H potatoes maybe work also? It might be worth a test!

slaghammer said...

I pull myself out of torpor with canned meat products. I'll try your potato scheme next time.

d said...

i asked you first.

sarah said...

Never seen the movie or the TV show. Maybe I'm better off. Thanks for the warning.

apterix55 said...

Carbohydrates, damn... yup, I probably passed that gene on to you also. Sorry. I could so easily find myself freebaseing Ruffles. I can't say no to 'em, of potato chips of any kind. Hashbrowns too, those big chunky "home style" potatos.. yyyuummmm.

I avoid the potato chip asile in Fred Meyer completely, I won't push my cart down there cuz I know that if I do, I'll buy two bags of Ruffles - only one will make it all the way home.

Would I kill for carbs? Let me think about it a bit [crunch].

Niall said...

The only show I can think of with a helicopter as a main character (which is what I assume the MASH thing is about), is the whole Airwolf jazz ... and I can't remember what that sounds like.

Woot! I got my laptop back! So all the blog reading4eva now.

AxAtlas said...

Now I have the Monster Mash song in my head.

Kara said...

inamini - mash potatoes...ha ha ha!

slag - somehow, that doesn't shock me at all

d - fine. your point is that you do odd things on your lunch

sarah - i like to help out when I can

apterix - strangely, i don't mind inheriting this gene. oh...and I'm taking your computer away from you because you typed "cause" as "cuz".

niall - it's WAY before your time...and was about the korean war...which your country didn't fight...so it would be all sorts of confusing for you

ax - you're wrong on so many levels.

AxAtlas said...

i'm wrong? i'm wrong??? whutchatalkin'boutwillis?
you! you are sooo wrong! sooo peckinpahin' wrong!

d said...

i wish i could disagree.

Kara said...

ax - good comeback

d - i don't allow people to disagree with me.

besides...shouldn't you boys be a'workin' right now? slackers.

Niall said...

>> i wish i could disagree.

I wish I had a clue what ye were all on about!!!!

Kara said...

niall - teehee, your accent is so cute!

AxAtlas said...

kara - i'm on lunch right now. besides...axatlas will work when axatlas wants to work...so there!
"Don't call it a comeback! I've been here for years!"
oh and you're even wronger or wrongger on those levels you mentioned.

(insert annoying emoticon with tongue stickin' out here)

d said...

i don't get paid enough to work a full day. so i work the three or four hours they actually pay me for, then i do other stuff the rest of the time. nobody seems to notice. and they keep promoting me. it's fun being brilliant.