Hullabaloo

There's been some local hullabaloo in my hood this week. Well, the Ex Systems Administrator's hood, to be precise. Those from the NW probably saw the story, but if anyone else cares...I'll include the link to it here.

I hope you all noticed the headline was, "A City of Portland truck just fell into a giant hole". Hilarious.

Anyway, this happened on the block where Ex Sys. Admin's apartment resides. Can an apartment reside? Well, this one does. The sewer truck was just rumbling along and then...*poof*...down into a giant hole it went. Like my sound effects? The Ex had to evacuate his apartment since there was a gas leak as a result of the impact. The men in the truck are fine. And now, there is a giant hole in the middle of the street.

I walked over there last night (without my camera like a complete dillhole) and was amazed by how deep, dark, and INCREDIBLY creepy it was. I haven't seen a lot of horror movies in my life (I'm a wus...this is a well known fact), but it seems to me that there are quite a few that begin at night with a giant, deep hole in the ground. Usually the workmen get eaten first...and then the general public. And then Jennifer Love Hewitt runs around screaming in a tight top. It must suck to be a city employee, knowing you will always be the first one eaten. There were no workmen there last night. That could mean they've already been eaten and the sewer monster has escaped and is among us. Or it could mean that their shift was over and they went home. But that's just silly.

Anyway, I took pictures of it with my phone. They're incredibly hard to see, so I'll have to explain them:

The giant light shining comes from this big crane-like thing hanging over the hole. I guess it's for pedestrians who somehow don't notice the caution tape or the metal fence and are suddenly like "oops, what's this?". It's nice to know someone's looking out for those people.

Or maybe the light is to keep the monster down in the hole. Maybe it's afraid of the light.

But what you're seeing is the manhole. It is still intact. I enjoy writing the word "manhole". Everyone just take a moment and say "manhole" out loud. That was my gift to you. The shaft (also a great word) is made entirely of brick, something you can't see in this shitty picture. It's hard to see how deep the thing went, but it was pretty deep. There wasn't a very strong concrete to dirt ratio. Makes the whole world seem less stable, if you ask me.

Here you get a better idea of deepness. You can see the curb/sidewalk on the right...gives you some perspective. Standing out there in the cold, dark, with just the wind howling and a little water trickling out of the broken pipe, it was eerie. I figured I would be eaten right then and there. But then, I wasn't. This helps support my theory that the monster has already escaped. Mothers...keep your wee ones inside tonight. Fathers...take your darts out of the dart board and be at the ready. There will be battles on the foyers of Portland this night.