Play By Play

People are always "blogging live" at events like the National Conventions or the Oscars. I've decided I'm going to "blog live" from my desk...later my couch...and then not at all because I'm going to a show (Electric Six, baby).

I'm excited.

11/4 - 4:44 pm/PT
McCain's won Kentucky (you see, of course, why Brendan left). Obama's taken Vermont. He'll be getting free maple syrup for the rest of his life, I can see it now. All this on the heels of McCain's brush with death and Obama's conspiracy to release the news about his Grandmother to secure sympathy votes.

11/4 - 4:58 pm/PT
South Carolina to McCain. Whatever.

11/4 - 5:47 pm/PT
McCain wins the cotton fields. Obama gets the cotton mills. Agriculture vs. Industrialization...it's like U.S. History all over again. And Geography. And...I suddenly have a hankering for fried foods and clam chowder.

11/4 - 5:50 pm/PT
I live-blogged the above while STANDING. Did you ever HEAR of anyone more hardcore? No.

11/4 - 6:30 pm/PT
There was supposed to be a Stewart/Colbert election special on Comedy Central. It's not on. I'm being forced to watch PBS. Their map graphic is inferior.

11/4 - 6:51 pm/PT
Obama just got Ohio. Do you hear that? It's not even 7:00 PM and Ohio is DECIDED. We have arrived, friends! Also, I just saw a Timberland commercial with the words "everyone dreams of standing on a podium" running across the image. Dumbasses. You don't stand on podiums. You stand at them.

11/4 - 7:01 pm/PT
Ok, the Stewart/Colbert special finally started. I feel better.

11/4 - 7:29 pm/PT
I ate dinner.

11/4 - 8:06 pm/PT
OBAMA WOOOOONNNNNNNNN! And now for celebratory cocktails and make-out sessions.

11/4 - 8:21 pm/PT
McCain's concession speech is probably the most eloquent one he's given yet. Kudos to the person who wrote it, as it was most assuredly not him. Cindy looks like she's been vomited on. They really should've shared some of Palin's wardrobe budget with her. I know that's mean, but it's her own fault she dresses like a tranny with a Jackie O complex.

11/4 - 9:31 pm/PT
Beautiful speech by PRESIDENT ELECT Barack Obama. And Michelle...remarkably UNtranny. That woman has style. This from the girl on her couch wearing a used Johnny Cash t-shirt covered in paint splatters and thrift store jeans. Whatevs.

And with that...I'm going out. You've been a beautiful audience.

11/5 - 1:11 am/PT
The show was rad. I shook my money maker. If you've never heard of the band Electric Six, I suggest you do some youtube-ing. Come on, the election's over, it's not like you've got anything better to do. Ok, maybe I'm a little drunk. I thought shaking my money maker would help that. Apparently not.

I also re-read the play by play and it was less than enthralling. Oh well. I'll make you like me for other reasons.